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Kota Jun 2016
I’m going to write you a letter.
Not now, most likely not tomorrow.
Maybe before I die, just after I get better.

See I found the problem.
The problem with me is my problem with you.
I have discovered I am the modern parasite.
I am the soul sucker.
I cling to your skin and your heart. All those little chunks--- I bite.

I know.

I was intoxicating.
I was lovely.
I was fragile.
I was broken.

You wanted to fix me.
But instead,

I broke
You.
I tore you apart and clawed out your heart.
Your eyes went glassy and your feelings fell apart.

I destroyed you.

You, You, You, You, You, You and You.
But who’s counting?


I take responsibility but I do not take blame.
I showed mercy, see.
I gave you a way out. I opened doors and offered temptation.
I warned you. I wanted you gone. I wanted you safe.
I screamed until my lungs became asphyxiated but unlike you;
I’m breathing fine.

Now we’re strangers.
Now we’re enemies.

I miss you.

But not the way you want me to.
Kota Apr 2016
Hate.
What a word.
What a phase.
What a conjunction of emotions that I can’t place.

I wish I could whisper all of them, away.
The traitors and the lies
with mistakes and
goodbyes.

tell them, demand them

to run away from home.
but i,
am only
running
on a personality
that
depends
on
hate.
Kota Nov 2014
The world is colder when you open up its’ jaws.
The sign says no, but your heart says go.
You’ll blame the stars or the snakes beneath your feet,
don't forget to hide the receipt.
You inject blame to the dead.
Where are your morales, where is your sense?
Where is the blood when you need to mend?
This is your fault and this is your sword.
Please, take your daily dose.
Ignore our existence, so you can beg for more.
Beg for the claws inside your heart.
And once they’re out, once they melt,
I promise, I promise
It’ll cool you like a quilt.
I promise, No!
I guarantee-

You’ll miss the bruises and the cuts.
You’ll miss the screaming and the torture.
No more clay in the ruts, no more tape to the edges.
Just blood and heart attacks.
Oh, You’ll miss it.

And when you sleep at night you’ll ask the ceiling “why?”
“Why is it so cold?”
Because you opened up it’s god ****** jaws,
slit your wrists and fed the beast.
A meal on a plate, dessert in it’s hands.

Torture that you call it, a blessing that we give.
Seasons kiss your skin, but pain will destroy it,
no mending for your sin.
No light will kiss you, no laughter or kin.
The Ice will take you in!
The Ice will take you in!
The ice will love you. The ice will bathe you in it’s grin.
You will miss us dear, oh how I promise.
Do take a walk in the forest. Let the wind sink in.
I will whisper I will scream.
You will shiver to my note.
The cold bites honey, wear your coat.
It's about depression.
  May 2014 Kota
Marzanna
i am sexually attracted to pencils.
get this to trend
Kota May 2014
“The bells will ring my fingers will burn.
The sun will grin and my heart will churn.
I know not of darkness, no sin nor evil.
Yet it comes, shaped as bullets of air and sounds of the tongue.
If I were to scream, would you hear it? Or shove me back into the tear-filled eyes of earth?
I suppose, my fingers would chill and my heart would slow but my ribs would crack and my voice would slip.
My name would fall and my soul would combust.
Earth will cry for me.
I am sure of it. They tell me secrets in my sleep.
They; because earth is not one. Not an him or she or an it.
A they. Not an I or me.
As I do not belong in the suns domain or the disease of today.
Yet I am here.
So the earth will wash their oceans into my veins as I sleep without a name.”
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