I closed my eyes and plugged my nose.
Water filling in my ears,
And coming out as blood.
Ringing and getting louder,
When all I want is silence.
My toes can’t touch.
My heart begins to seize  
I’m sinking deeper and deeper
I can no longer see the sun.
I’m sinking deeper and deeper.
The water fills my lungs.
I’m sinking deeper and deeper
And I can’t swim my way up.
My mouth opens and water pours in.
I’m choking and coughing
But I’m not all at once.
It burns inside my chest,
Like a hell inside my lungs.
I close my eyes and sing to myself
That I’m sinking deeper and deeper
And there’s nowhere to run.
There’s an irony to this that
You may not understand.
But these bricks tied to my feet
Just hit the oceans sand.
Its okay now my dear
The feeling is gone.
Just know that when your drowning
There’s nowhere to run.

the lights that glow
the night
the fights that grow
i wish i had never gone

the pains that stay
that night
the lanes i cant erase
i wish i had never gone

What can I feel
When was the last one?
Did I miss it?
That kiss?
Of the time lost or
The memory

Is it gibberish or the
Sheen of taste left on the plate
The one you never see quite clean
The washer never worked anyways

Does time feel sadness too
Or does he live in his moment
Created
New
Blissful eternity
Yet momentary

Does she miss me in the end?

do you have moments, where you can’t imagine a future?
you’re lying there, staring at the
same walls
same ceilings
same words
with nothing but the same feelings-
empty and pale,
like there’s no reason to go on,
when you can’t even do enough to fail.
the future is coming, but you don’t want to be in it,
can’t imagine yourself in it.
where you just want to stop.
everything.
and just sit there for a while.
maybe not death, as that’s too permanent,
but something close to it.
when you can feel the rope around your neck,
the razor on your wrist,
the way the pills taste.
you can imagine it, and you aren’t sure if it’s what you want,
or just the feelings you imagine it will give you

I'm on the 11th floor
Staring out of windows
Because it's better than staring at walls.
And I'm listening to your songs
So I can miss you more clearly
Because missing you is better than missing out.
You're a summer stranger that I know so well, and I want to lay next to you so you can play with my hair.

Missing you tastes like bitter Boston coffee.