you talk to me as if suicide isn't an option
as if I haven't cut myself six million and one times
      there are only so many ways to count to death
dreams
   can only be ****** for so long

I felt the first crack
                             the day
                                       you called me
                                                              a mistake
to think
   I mistook you for a parent
but you never learned to bare your heart
just gnashing fists and clenched teeth
love
      has always had gaps to escape through
   you just didn't let it

but before I get to note's end
I want you to know
            that I love you
            that I speak it every night into the
                                                   s                           n         e
                                                            l  ­           e
                                                      i        ­                    c
like a prayer
            that I pray that someday it will be enough
   to put cracks in this reality

depression is not the only thing I drown in
under all the blue
I am gushing with red
it's just sometimes I forget I'm breathing

I guess what I'm saying is
   **Eventually...
                             I will flood
but I'm holding off as long as I can
~it would be nice if you at least tried to help~

Smiling face
and laughing eyes
I can't believe
I fell for all those lies
I think it's best
we share goodbyes
You're just an actor in lifes play

Standing there
upon the stage
reciting speeches
from the page
while i sit fuming
full of rage
You're just an actor in life's play

To me you're just an empty shell
Who I will meet again in hell
With others words, such tales you tell
And I believed them.....I believed

I thought that
what you said was true
That you loved me
like I loved you
Then I found out
That's what you do
You're an actor on life's stage

The real you
is a mystery
You've got a
blackened history
I can't believe
you did this to me
You're an actor on life's stage

Another play
Another role
Crawl on back
into your hole
You're an empty vessel
With a blackened soul
You're an actor on life's stage

The real you
you will find no more
it's just a role
you played before
so many lives
that you've lost score
you're an actor on life's stage

Silence falls
as you will find
No actor's mask
to hide behind
The play will end
Time is not kind
You're an actor with no stage

To me you're just an empty shell
Who I will meet again in hell
With others words, such tales you tell
And I believed them.....I believed

This thing called work,
It's killing me,
It's stolen my words,
I can't set them free.

The sadness of this heart
of mine may never go
away. I do intend on
starting all over once again.
...