you called her baby,
once honey
sometimes it’s coldness,
she was always clueless

my inside is gloomy,
and it’s raining heavily,
still, i think of you clearly,
clearer than the sun
when it’s shining at me

my friends and i saw a girl,
confused, we continued watching
as love don’t change was playing,
she was probably your loml,
it was public,
i became your side chick

you made me a clown
yet i’m giggling now,
my angels witnessed
how my body was shaking
while my attempt was sending
—it was extremely thrilling
and in a millisecond,
you got me screaming,
singing “but daddy i love him”,
i was mad for trying
still, i got nothing

he made me pray,
for once i believed,
someone could make me stay,
and turn the way i’ve lived
but here i am, writing in dismay
and for the seventh time,
i’m finding words that rhyme
these mixed feelings i could hardly say

i lived in a dream,
it was lively, now it’s dim
i’m going back to sleep,
don’t come along
good night, so long

a beggar of your time,
an intruder in your heart
when would i ever hear
the sound of a welcoming chime?

my strangeness is coming to light again
unknown to my own, conceited yet in vain
i was never blind to my own longings,
i know what or who to disdain—my loathings,
but these days,
i’m a stranger to myself

you made me scream,
your name was on my screen
i was convinced you dislike me,
the ignorance in my letters lately.

should i say i was being naive,
thinking things you’ve shared
were for me to receive?

how come my feelings grow,
towards someone i barely know?
the more i distance myself from you,
the more they become true

was that a decline?
i’m bad at reading between the lines
nonetheless, i’m flattered
you acknowledged,
thought it was a bit vile,
bliss but your wit withal

you write feelings left unspoken
of those who were in blue.
i actually write too,
but only when i’m broken.
would that be a zero for you?

once i asked,
the question is still unanswered
but maybe you did,
unsure how i’m supposed to take it

you seem to be a great writer,
can you afford a small banter?
you softly pierced me
with your twisted harmony,
with your rhyme schemes,
shouldn't be unfortunately.

all these sweet talks
with strangers and folks,
i still feel like
a lonely little girl
lost in hell

sometimes, i wonder
if you’ve ever visited hello poetry,
looked up my username, daisy,
just to check if there’s for you recently

you’re the only person
who knows about it, anyway.

i can sense it,
it’s not as clear as when i fell for you
but i know,
i’m familiar with these feelings too
—i think he’s cute, really.

here comes silence,
as my mind drifts
into midnight wonders,
and ruminates the memories,
now that we don’t talk

it has been a month,
and 21 days,
i may have met new guys
but yours is still the notification
i’ve been waiting,
and asking for.

just when i’m close to forgetting you,
after counting days of feeling blue,
you appeared before my eyes,
now my statute of limitation dies
and in the speed of light,
feelings beyond a doubt,
and emotions i’ve been burying inside
are coming back to me all at once

it was a good week,
a one full of smiles, and enjoyments
but i wasn’t vigilant enough,
i took everything for granted,
thought it will never last
and now that i think about it,
it’ll be a good month,
a one that’s worth of tears,
endless what ifs, and regrets

yesterday, i was shivering,
by the warmth,
and sympathy in your words,
but now i am sweating
by the coldness,
and apathy in your answers

i was fine being alone,
but after that 5 hour long,
i haven’t been myself anymore
so freaking different from before

this weird feeling of misery,
when my day ends without your company;
this new, strange habit of smiling unconsciously,
when i remember things—you, basically;
this constant cycle of longing desires i have for you,
and not wanting to,
only to conclude that i’m missing you;
this odd mood swing that i suffer with,
from hating you, to liking you more,
when you suddenly appear,
realizing how it’s not complicated to forgive;
this persistent idea of clinging onto your life,
being unimaginably patient when i never was;
foolishly opening my eyes wide,
so that you won’t have to wait that much

—𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙢𝙚 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙝, 𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨

respond to me once,
i could gather millions of butterflies,
somehow, it’s tiring,
but i’m addicted to this feeling

i despise the time
—for it ends quicker
when we're together,
but runs at its slowest,
when between us,
there's a mess.

you made it worth it
—the time i thought was wasted
i smiled, laughed with you
while i hoped i was your favorite too

you were intrigued,
i was overly interested,
perceived your compliments
as sweet endearments,
you showed me attention
i considered them as affection,
while you were just being nice,
reminded me how it was

every night, i was full of delusions,
and hopeless conclusions
and if i could wish,
don’t walk away, that is
i should be the one to leave
for i came to you first

it’s scary how i’m scared
of losing someone i’ve never met
if there’s one thing i do not regret,
it was when you found me,
when i was down and empty.

i am no fool
but whenever i see your name,
i feel no shame,
i can forget about the rules

you've moved on, for sure
i haven't though,
—do you know it's a torture?
you have a home to go back to,
i'm just here and i still want you

we never denied it,
all the comfort
—and the happiness we felt,
never left a trace,
we need it hidden, always

i know how it's a mistake,
that's why i took a break
but one beep from my phone,
made me feel eager once again

i will never look for true love
i am someone who will never find one
why?
i am a sadist,
not to someone else
but to myself,
who prefers hurting herself

i thought i made a masterpiece,
but i just ended up hurting my fist,
asking myself his worth,
of the spaces on these pages,
of the ink from my pens,
of the words,
coming from my head

you loved the mystery in me,
the thrill of not knowing my story,
and while i wasn't interested at all,
you, figuring me, was my downfall

i became too comfortable
that i let you pass into my armour,
and when i wanted to know you more,
you became unknown

waiting was all i could do
but i knew it wasn't an option for you
because i'm no longer that someone you were curious about
—you only liked me when i was a stranger,
you ignored me when you got to know me better

i watched your shadow
as you blocked the light
coming from the transparent windows around us,
i wasn't sure if it was your fingers
—or your sweater's zippers
that pulled my hair
when you walked straight to my left

and when you passed again to my right,
i felt a cold, distant zephyr
as you rushed away,
like a stranger whom i've never met,
you did not look back
—or even stayed for a second
like you would always do.

sitting quiet at the corner,
my sides became brighter
as you marched towards my chair,
you made me aware
—with how you swayed the strings of your jacket,
and how their knots at the end tapped my skin
—that you were there

it happened on the 8th of eight,
but i'm still bearing the weight of guilt,
when you left a mark in my head
that i will never forget
—you used the word, expensive, love
asking me if i want you to love me

i know i felt excited;
i know you didn't mean it,
i waited for you to take it back but you didn't,
so i made you take back your words,
and there, finally, you said "it was a joke",
somehow, i felt disappointed

the most magical,
yet the most painful dream i had:
𝘺𝘰𝘶.

maybe it was the thing called “love”
—like a flower
that grew well;
surely, it won’t last forever

day 88, and i am still in love:

with his hair,
that becomes a bit curly and wet
when he feels stressed;

with his eyes,
like hazelnuts under those glasses reflecting light from the outside;

with his dad jokes,
that make me laugh even though they’re all lame most of the time;

it’s the 88th day,
and i am still, falling for you.

you’re an arsonist
—you never failed to burn my whole;
always setting fire on my body and soul

indeed an arsonist
—you turned me into a thin smoke,
i disappeared; you never looked

whenever i see you
i feel like i want to live in your eyes,
even though it’s always cold,
i melt like a heated gold
and when i’m part of your sight
i couldn’t stand straight
‘cause you are an angel
amazingly at every angle

whenever your eyes meet mine,
i want to stare at them forever
i know i would never find any better,
yours are just so pretty that i burn
but i can never have you
‘cause you are saturn,
my favorite planet in my own milky way
already wearing a gorgeous ring.


—and so i made up my mind
that i would never,
ever reveal these feelings to anyone
‘cause you are an angel,
and you don’t deserve to lose her

sleepless nights,
three distorted minds
good evenings become wild
—there’s no where to hide

dreams in halt
and bleeding hearts
wounds tasting the bitterness of salt
silently crying as they hide the cracks
—everyday is a marathon,
but no one runs for life anymore,
they rush to escape, from living,
from home, and that’s all

i was excited for a while
but it faded after some time
it’s all despair
that i’m feeling now

i’m scared of silence
not because it’s deafening
but because i can hear;
the footsteps,
the glasses,
the plates,
and everything else.

on thin ice,
wide and narrow pathways
you were always there
with your luminous presence,
making me shine,
and glow,
even in my darkest moments.

you turned me into gold
when i felt rusty and old

as i reached the peak,
i saw a perfect rainbow
that i’ve never seen,
better than the magical lights
in the northern hemisphere

it’s wonderful to have eyes,
to have a vision of the nature and skies,
to see how they suffer in humans’ hands,
to just witness everything but not doing what’s right

isn’t it time to give back
before the greens turn to black?
i doubt everyone is concerned
—after all, humans always act
like they’re blind

i have a feeling
i’m all alone
and it’s so cruel
—too excruciating

we’re like joker and harley,
love cannot be seen
my world is dropping in the city
and i am feeling dizzy
well, this is the agony
of being your queen
no matter how toxic this is,
you are still my weakness
can’t stop loving my puddin
though i’m the only one who’s vibin
and i know
i am now weaker
than i’ve become.

A breeze of calmness between wars
is raging while trees are doing fine
swaying leaves and walking vehicles
under the lights, they're watching my steps

A scene where a crescent moon glows,
a flesh of pink within clouds
and gloomy stars behind,
and arms hugging petals with tears inside

A night of sadness is filling in those lives,
warming up with coldness
while it's raining red outside
I am anxious,
I'm afraid
I need to wake up
and fight for those stars
—they need to shine
and stop hiding as lonely hearts