Regardless of what the future holds, I know
that no feat of mathematical precision
no combination of zeroes and ones
no mechanical tool, no algorithm
can replicate your face.
In the rise and fall of your eyelids
and the pursing of your lips
there is a lawless radiance.

How ironic it is
That we mutilate this earth
With the very substances
That bind it.

And how humorous we are
That we think
We can save ourselves
From us.

You said it's just rain..
I said no, its the angels crying from above trying to wash off all of the dirt from the outside of the window pane.
You said it's just rain.

You said it's just the sun..
I said no, its a bundle of hot energy shining its rays of sunshine through the glass windows to make your skin glow.
You said it's just the sun.

You said it's just the moon..
I said no, its a luminous planet that knows the night's secrets & yet still returns every night to guide us back home.
You said its just the moon.

You said it's just the wind..
I said no, its a breath of fresh air moving through your clothes and tangling in between my hair & dancing with the wind chimes.
You said it's just the wind.

You said you missed me..
I said no, I miss you more like the waves miss the shore. I miss you more like the stars lost in the void.
You said you missed me.

I said I love you..
You stayed quiet.
There was nothing left to say but stare blankly into your eyes and say, you're right.
It is just rain.
It is just the sun.
It is just the moon.
It is just the wind.
& its true, I will always miss you more.

My entire life
The world has told me
To be satisfied with what I get.
To be quiet.
To be gracious.
And my entire life
I have needed more
Wanted more
Been...
Hungrier
Than anyone else I have ever met.
And the world said
Be satisfied.
And the world said
Be silent.
And so I learned to fit inside it.
I have been taught to need less.
I have been obsessed
With needing less.
The world has said
Be satisfied
Do not demand
And in my quest to please it
The only answer I have found
Is to never be satisfied.
To be quiet
To be hungry
To need, and never ask.
What I get, I rejoice at.
What I am denied, I never covet.
But give me something and ****** it back
And you will find that it was much more important
Than you ever thought.
I have been conditioned
To be silent.
But I have never been
Satisfied.
I need.
And I have never seen my needs met.
And I have learned to live this way
But only barely,
Only by my fingernails.
The world said
The more you need
The less power you will have.
It said
Be satisfied.
Be silent.
Be gracious.
Be
Sorry
For your hunger.
It said
Do not demand
And as hard as I have tried
I have
Failed to obey.

I broke.
I broke and you saw me
And I asked you
Because I was afraid
Because I was chaotic
Because you were the only one who had ever seen
I asked you
"What if I'm not meant to be human?"
And you said
"Oh you are
You are."
You told me
You thought I was wonderful
And then you
Proved that
You didn't
And that is why
It hurt.

You called it a love bite
Like the word hickey would burn in your mouth
and strip away the taste of her still on your lips

You called it a love bite
Because hickey sounded like troubled teens
and stained sheets

You called it a love bite
Because her perfume still stuck to your shirt
and you didn't want to take it off

You called it a love bite
because you loved her
But you knew she called it a hickey
and nothing more.