I want to feel your mouth on mine.
I want your kiss to start The Push.
The Pull.
The Lust.
The Longing.
I want your tongue to run across all the words I don't have the courage to say.
I want so much.
I need for you to try.
I need for you to trace your fingertips across my eyelids and not leave me while my eyes are closed.
I need to feel your mouth on mine.
I need for you to want me.

I'm tired of waiting around for you,
tired of knowing I come last but still hoping to be picked first,
like a child in line for kickball who never makes the team.
My heart feels like your kickball,
discolored red and rubbery from the trauma.
I just want to be the team captain for once.

I read the signs wrong.
Got so caught up in the possibilities,
I didn't consider the possibility of you not wanting me.
I was just a warm mouth, right?
An ****** to drown out your own emtions,
it felt like a new beginning.
I should've known.
You're an inherently selfish man,
emotions don't come naturally to you.
They come effortlessly to me.
Your thumb on my wrist, your hand in my hair, it felt like a sign.
To you it felt like a favor, an IOU for being your friend.
I owe you nothing.
I owe myself everything.

and my heart aches;
it feels like a hole has been punched out that is just suspiciously the size of you.
i yearn to be in love;
i want to give part of myself away, asking for nothing in return.
you make it easy to want you.
i want to spend my life crawling my way out of your existence, out of the way you make me feel.
i want to wake up one morning with my face tucked into your neck and wonder why i ever thought i was going to explode.
i want you to love me back.

My chest aches with it sometimes,
The way others love so completely,
The way I can still see your name blinking on my phone from the last time I called and you didn't pick up.
Did I love you?
Did I love not being alone?
What do I need to do, to be so in love, that my pulse feels like it's on speed?

I think I knew you in another life.
I'd recognize the palm of your hand before my own mother's voice.
Your heartbeat has been steady for centuries,
a constant hum,
leading me to you.
And I love you.
I will always find you,
in every life I live.

He breathes like he needs me,
but he sighs like he wants me gone.
He's a hurricane, and the way he says my name feels like the eye of the storm,
But there's never enough rain to wash her kiss from his mouth.