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Chaos Mar 2015
You asked me why I write these words
Well I can tell you one thing
I don't write for you
Or the strangers that will read them
I write to clear my mind
Get rid of all my thoughts
To dislodge those memories
I have constantly fought
I write to express what I feel
In a calm and collected way
To wipe my slate clean
And erase my bad days
I write to run
To escape
From a world I am sick of
And all the pressures of the day
So no, I don't write for you
Or for the strangers out there
I write for myself
So I don't have to care
Chaos Mar 2015
Sitting in a whirlwind
Of names
Of faces
Each one blurred
There are no traces
Of who they are
And what they've been
Just names
Just faces
Living in a dream
Chaos Feb 2015
I'm just tired. Tired of people assuming. Tired of being tired, of not knowing myself or what I want. Tired of wanting to cry all the time, of not being able to sleep. Tired of my past, of the future that's unknown. I'm tired of my ghosts and all the burdens that I carry. Tired of not liking the way I look, of my personality. Tired of not being a good friend, of not being able to keep friends or even make them. Tired of ******* everything up, of hurting people. I'm tired of being hurt, of feeling pain. Tired of all the lies I keep being told, of being afraid and frightened. Tired of constantly wishing I lived in another life, of coming back to reality after each time I finish a book. Tired of waking up after I sleep, of having crazy dreams that make me want to wake but then fall asleep again so I don't have to deal with everything. I'm so tired. But above everything, I'm just tired of being alone.
Chaos Feb 2015
Maybe I got too used to you
The way you laugh and smile
Maybe I got too used to your voice
The way you whisper in my ear
Maybe I got too used to how you breathe
The steady rise and fall of your chest
Maybe I got too used to your hands
The way they cradle my smaller ones
Maybe I got too used to your heart
The scars and all the secrets it holds
Maybe I just go too used to you
And that's why we fell apart
Chaos Feb 2015
I know you're out there
somewhere
Waiting for me
Just like I'm waiting for you
Maybe your around the corner
Or in full view
Just don't lose hope
Like I have begun to
Hold on for me
Hold on for us
please please please
I need you to believe
For both of us
Because I don't know
How much longer I can last
Chaos Feb 2015
Every time I feel the tears
Come closer to the surface
I breathe deeply, blink quickly
And make sure they don't fall
I can't afford to show
All of this weakness
This vulnerability
That they all tell me to hide
I have to be strong, be firm
And never let them see
That inside I am dying
And slowly crumbling
Until soon there will be
*Nothing left of me
Chaos Feb 2015
My ghosts come at night
Darker than the time before
They feed on my soul
And although they fade
When the morning comes
They are still there
Following me
Sitting on my shoulders
Weighing me down
Creating more burdens
And when the dark comes again
I can be guaranteed
That my ghosts will turn up
Blacker and thicker
Than ever before
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