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Chaos Jan 2015
I can't seem to breathe right now
Or feel any part of my soul
The tears cut like razors across my cheeks
I no longer feel like I am whole
I just don't know what to do or say
I am consumed by darkness
Waiting for the Devil to arrive
And grant me one last kiss...
Chaos May 2014
I don't think you realize
That all my poetry is about you
In someway you've influenced each piece
Like part of your soul is hiding in my words
Chaos Oct 2015
please don't
leave me alone
i'm afraid that
i will forget
how to feel
please don't
walk away
from me
i'm afraid
i will forget
how to breathe
please, please
**don't leave me alone
Chaos May 2019
every time i look at you
i fall in love
all over again
Chaos Mar 2015
what can you do
for a heart that hurts
or a broken soul
that has shattered
what can you do
for a bleeding heart
or a seeping soul
that has torn
Chaos Oct 2014
I am braver than you think
I am stronger than I seem
Smarter than you know
And as beautiful as I allow myself to be
I have let go of the past
Embraced new horizons
And by finding my soul
I’ve come to believe a little more
This is actually the chorus of a song  I've written...
Chaos Oct 2014
Sometimes all I can do
Is get up and breathe
And that's okay
Because it means I'm still alive
Chaos May 2015
All I need
Is a shoulder to cry on
Someone's heart
To listen to my own

A voice to guide me
Through the darkness
A pair of eyes
So I'm not alone

All I need**
Is a someone
Just one someone
To call *home
Chaos Apr 2015
There are so many things
I want to tell you
For you to understand
There are so many reasons
I want you to know
For leaving you behind
It's not your fault
It will never be
The only person to blame
Is me
I seem to ***** up
Every friendship, relationship
Everything I do
I'm the mess, the problem
The huge grenade
I cause disaster and pain
Anywhere I go
So don't worry
It's in no way your fault
The fault is all mine
The ***** up, the mess
The problem, the grenade
It is all my fault
Chaos Mar 2015
She bites her lip to stop the grin from forming
As she sits reading her favourite book
The cover well-worn, the pages dog-eared
And her favourite quotes lovingly underlined
But what she doesn't seem to notice
As she is lost in her favourite fictional world
Is the young man sitting across the room
A smile forming as he watches her
Fall in love with her favourite book
*All over again
Chaos Mar 2015
There are days I just fade out
And life passes me by
Until suddenly I **** awake
And realise all that I've missed
Chaos Jul 2015
What do you
want from me?**
I have done
almost everything
I possibly can
to get over you
But how
can I do that
When you
won't let me?
Chaos Mar 2015
She is hiding
Locked up in her room
And trying
To stop the sense of doom
The darkness
Is pressing
On her very heart
The demons
And devils
Are tearing her apart
The tears
She's crying
Are falling down her face
Her heart
Is beating
So faint there is no trace
And still
Can seem to see her pain
Or hear
The hurt
That lances through her brain
But now
It's seems
That we are all too late
She's almost
Taken away by fate
Chaos Jun 2015
I can see
The stares
The looks
I can hear
The whispers
The thoughts

The pity
The sympathy
Is written
All over
Your faces
The relief
The gratitude
That it's
Not you
Is right there

You think
I can't see
When you
Turn away
You think
I can't hear
When you
Cover lips

I'm already
Don't you
Think it
Would be
If you
Just didn't
Treat me
Any different

But why
Does it
I'm already
Alone and
Cold and
Nothing you
Can do
Would make
This any
Chaos Mar 2015
When you jokingly said
you're already broken
You had no idea
Just how right you were
When you teasingly voiced
you're quite a mess
You really didn't know
The truth in those words
Chaos Jan 2015
It's too late to stop me now
I'm already falling
Further than I've ever fallen before
I've lost myself to you
I can't control it
No matter how hard I try
My heart belongs to you
And I love it
I never thought this could happen
To me of all people
But it did and it's crazy
I'm just so happy
Although I don't know
If you feel the same
Because you've never really
Said anything at all
I've been dropping hints
And clues everywhere
That you haven't seemed to pick up
And it kills me
No one told me
How hard this would be
So maybe I should stop
Before I get hurt
But I've already fallen
It's too late now
No one can stop me
And it hurts so bad
Chaos Jan 2015
I'm living in an alternate reality
So really I don't exist
It explains a lot about me
Like why I've never been kissed

The stars float below my feet
The sea drifts above
I’m invisible to all around me
So I will never be loved

I’m on the other side of a mirror
Never to be set free
Only to gaze through daily
Into a world I will only ever see

Although it means I see things
That nobody else does
I see beauty in everything
Even in the tiniest piece of dust

But still I am destined to be
Alone for all of time and eternity
For I don’t truly exist, you see
But live inside a fantasy
Chaos Apr 2014
I want to run away into the night
and never come back again
I want to scream and shout all day
and dance like crazy in the rain

But the things I want aren't meant to be
My reality is now
And I'll have to live my fantasy
When I'm alone

So alone and cold
Chaos Nov 2015
She was just a young girl
Reaching for the stars
and wishing on dandelions
She was happy, content
Until the darkness arrived
The stars became dull
And dandelions just a ****
She became lost, lonely
A transparent ghost
Haunting her home and family
Unable to talk to them
Or to let them know
They couldn't understand her
So they lost all hope in her
And soon she lost hope in herself
She faded from their minds
Then faded from existence
And no one would remember
The girl who reached for stars
And wished on dandelions
Chaos Apr 2014
I'm so confused
And I don't know what to do
Friends to awkward
In a sentence or two

Why'd you do it?
I wish you left it alone
So we could go back to before
When it felt like home

Now I feel misplaced
In a world where I don't belong
A cat without a tail
Some lyrics without a song

Stuck in the dark
With no where to go
I think I'll stay right here
Without you and alone
Please, lets go back to friends with nothing awkward...
Chaos Oct 2014
I may be smiling
But in reality I’m close to tears
I may be trying
But it doesn't quench my fears
The monsters don’t sleep under my bed
They sleep inside my head
And I’m too scared to say it
So I hide behind a smile
Also part of an original song
Chaos Dec 2014
I'm in love with the
                                  thought of being in love
It consumes my soul
Chaos Jun 2014
I can't help but feel like a big disappointment
Like everything I do is wrong
You look at me with those sad eyes
All traces of happiness gone

I know I'm useless and totally pathetic
And I'm sorry for being that way
I can't change it no matter how much I wish
Unfortunately I'm here to stay

People tell me to lighten up and smile more
But I wish that they could just see
How the hell am I supposed to believe in myself
If no one will believe in me?
Chaos Mar 2015
i'm a bird without a cage
finally flying free
please don't try to catch me
Chaos Oct 2019
you realise
this is
all your own fault
no one
to blame
but you

always so naive
stop asking
stop trusting
in them

i hope
you know
the you i speak about
isn't you
at all
but me
Chaos Dec 2016
i want to stand
underneath the clouds
as the rain   f
in  s l o w m o t i o n
to feel
every single drop
as they hit
my upturned face
and   r     o    l    l
down my neck
in serene streams
that take away
all my thoughts
leaving me
and *blissfully empty
Chaos Jun 2015
This melancholy
Sits on my shoulders
It's weighing me down
I'm drowning in the blue
Of salty, unshed tears

This gloom
Sits on my chest
It's holding me down
I'm suffocating in the black
Of this oxygenless state
Chaos Aug 2021
can barely feel skin
under fingertips of ice
and bones of lead
eyes that hide
under heavy lids
viewing life
through hazy focus
recollection is tricky
memories slip through
the holes of a sieve
a heartbeat felt throughout
all encompassing
Chaos Mar 2017
What are these butterflies
Doing here already
It's just the beginning
It's completely brand new
I don't even know
If this will go anywhere
And still they all flutter
When I think of you

It's been only a week
Since this first sprouted
And yet you make appearances
In all of my dreams
My heart cannot take this
All the gaps have been filled
I've never felt this before
What does it all mean

Will this actually become
Something wonderful and real
Will my chance come
Could this be this cupids dart
For you occupy my mind
Every second of every day
You've taken over my senses
And all I am now is heart
Chaos Jan 2015
I'm happy* says my smile
Couldn't be better says my eyes
I'm great says my voice
So content says my sigh

I'm tired says my heart
Can't sleep says my mind
I'm broken says my soul
I'm breaking apart and ready to resign
Chaos Jan 2015
Erratic breathing
in and out
Tears welling
in and out
Emotions spilling
in and out
Storm brewing
in and out
Stop breathing
in and out
Storm slowing
in and out
Emotions receding
in and out
Tears stopping
in and out
Calm breathing
Chaos Dec 2014
I am broken
Just as you are
And I want to fix you
But how can I?
When I am just as shattered as you?
You are broken
Just as I am
And you want to fix me
But how can you?
When you are just as fractured as me?
*We are broken
Chaos Sep 2015
My eyes, they burn
I've not slept in days
My body, it aches
From this exhaustion
But every time I close my eyes
The horrors I have seen
Unfold themselves in full colour
The most vivid nightmare
So I open them again
Only to be met with demons
The ones that follow me around
So the light goes back on
Until they fade away
And away disappears another night
In my own personal hell
So you see, my eyes, they burn
For I have not slept in days
Chaos Jul 2015
I was once so excited
Just to come home
But now I dread it
For it makes me feel alone
Especially as I see you
Everywhere I go
It kills me inside
And makes the tears flow
Chaos Jan 2015
Raindrops splatter
Tears that don't matter
Painting the pain on my skin
Words slice
And create a vice
That breaks the girl within
Thoughts swirl
Emotions whirl
Where can I begin?
Bones break
A heart that aches
Disguises that wear thin
Feeling wrong
Can't sing my song
Will never make up for my sin..
Chaos Mar 2015
They are so consumed within themselves
They fail to see what's actually happening
Instead they are deluded by visions of what they want
And all that they think they need
But what about all those people
Whose lives they are crushing and burning
Chaos Mar 2015
Could you give up a part of you
For a part of me
Could you open a space inside your heart
And let me in
Could you become my beacon of light
When I'm in the dark
Could you breathe deep into my soul
And keep me alive
Could you dive deep into yourself
To find where I reside
Could you let go of all your worries
And open up
Could you live side by side with me
For all of your days
Could you love me with all your soul
And never let me go
Chaos Jun 2015
I bury myself
In fictional worlds
So I don't have to face
The heartless soul
And soulless heart
Of life's cruel reality
Chaos Jun 2015
That girl
With the sad, tired eyes
Sitting alone in the corner
She's over her life of emptiness
And she just wants to leave

That boy
With the gloomy, grey cloud
Following him wherever he goes
He's finished with his life of darkness
And he just wants to disappear

Those people
With the falling apart lives
Breaking slowly piece by piece
They are done with feeling like this
And they just want to get out of this dark, hopeless world
Chaos Apr 2015
Sleep* eludes the weary
Dreams plague the weak
So many disaster stories
But none of them keep
The terrors of the dark
Haunting their nights
Pushing them down
*No more do they fight
Chaos Nov 2018
don't touch me
not like that
soft and gentle
strokes of light
i can't bring in air
my lungs won't work
when your thumb
circles on my skin
it makes me think
of what could be

don't look at me
not like that
sparkling and bright
with subtle winks
i can't stop the blush
from spreading
cheeks red and warm
heart tight
it makes me think
with hope

don't hold me
not like that
both tight and loose
with warm hands
circling and resting
on hips and knees
heart beating faster
right out of my chest
it makes me think
of night time affairs

so just please don't
because i'm already
half way in love
Chaos Dec 2014
I may be broken
But that doesn't mean
You can make me your next project
Don't try to fix me
Like I know you want to
But I am strong enough
To fix myself
Even if you can't see it
Chaos Oct 2014
I feel like I can't breathe
Like I can't even take a breath
That I am pretending to be alive
So that no one notices
On the inside I am dying
Chaos Jan 2015
Each word she writes
Is a cry of despair
A plea, a tear
She's being held together
By the words
She writes

Each word he sings
Is a chorus of pain
An appeal, a claim
He's being bound together
By the words
He sings

They do not realise
The hidden meanings
Behind their words
All they see is lines
Scrawled on paper
All they hear is sounds
Floating in the air
They are missing
The messages
That are hidden
Deep inside
Each word
Chaos Feb 2015
It's just easier to pretend
I'm okay
Than to explain why I'm not...
Chaos Mar 2015
I tried to put my pen to paper
To explain how I felt
But nothing happened
No words came out
It stayed empty
And completely blank
But somehow, somehow
That explained it perfectly
Chaos Mar 2015
I pretend that I don't care
When really I am screaming
From the frustration of failure
And the disappointment of
Letting you down
I brush off the hurt
With a flick of my wrist
Pretending it's not a big deal
When on the inside I am crying

Fake it till you make it
Has become my new motto
Except I am excellent at the fake it part
But have yet to make it anywhere
All I am good at
Is building up my walls
And constructing masks
To hide what I really feel
So I don't seem like I care
But I assure you
I most definitely do
Chaos Feb 2015
I'm falling apart
And you are all
That is keeping me
From breaking
Into a million pieces
Chaos Jan 2015
I keep fantasizing
That maybe it could be me
The girl you long for
Or daydream about
I can see it in your eyes
The distant look
Of a man wishing, wanting
Someone or something
I am clinging tightly
To a small thread of hope
That your feelings for me
Haven't changed
Just as mine haven't
For you
Although I know
I need to stop pretending
I can't help myself
I can't stop myself from dreaming
Chaos Mar 2015
Why does music
Make me feel so much?
Some songs bring hope
But others bring pain
Some bring joy
Others bring rain
I was once told
Musicians feel things
A little bit different
Like there is some
Deep connection in soul
That strengthens
Each time we hear a note
Why is it this way?
The way I feel
Sometimes kills me
I turn on my music
And break my own heart
Over and over
As I repeat the songs
That rip right to my center
And make me feel
So strangely
So differently
To everyone else
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