I am certain she does not love me
the way that I love her
so full,
so poetically passionately,
so self-destructively,
so lovely,
In all her darkness.

A black sun that burns brighter
than any celestial body;
I would let myself burn
to touch it,
to see it I would let
myself go blind.

I hope she does not mind
that I love her so deeply.
I give it freely,
not expecting anything
explicit in return.

Hoping that she
will always be merely
one poem or message
away from me.

Come to me my purple lotus blossom
Unfurl your worn out petals
Before the burden of living
Crushes your tiny chlorophyll filled skins
Relax before your stem cracks
Like a sailor’s broken back
Crushed beneath the ships mast
Heavy with hopeful journeys
But trapped in one spot
Do not let the broken heart
Harden, turning pollen dry
And petals crumbling brown
But bloom my dear
If not for the sake of the sun
Then for its sorrowful lack

It is a horrible shade
something I thought
that I would never be,
but for you
I see jealousy.

I am jealous of the air
that fills your lungs,
that hears you breath,
and carries the sound
of your heart beats.

I am jealous of the rain
that makes you smile
while you run a mile,
touching your skin,
sweet intermingling
sweat moistening.

I am jealous of the night sky
that sees you come alive,
knows where you lie,
so that it can visit you at night.

I am jealous of time
spent to see you grow,
got to get to know
your heart, and experiences,
your art, and deviances,
your dreams,
from the cradle to now.

I am jealous of the heart
that held you first,
that hurt you worse,
knowing that I could never
commit such a crime,
could never waste such a fine mind,
I find time to despise
that male shaped guise
who swindled your younger heart
before I ever got to be a part
of your life.

It is a dreamy disaster
I forget myself frequently
Giving in to the hope
Wanting to be desired
Wanting a connection
Not an *******
But a mental line
To cross wires
My desire
Is for far more
Makes me strive for
Equal companionship

They are like magnets
Two broken butterflies
Trying to fly together
In this horrible weather

Weathering the windy storm
Circling each other
Dearly damaged
And so ornately beautiful

White spots speckle their wings
Small orange Rorschach marks
Paralleled in sweet symmetry
Fairy like wings fluttering
One kiss away from their
Last wonderful day

They settle on the same bent flower
Exhausted they end their
Sad love affair
On petals just as damaged as they are

You crack the facts
Splinter reality
Set loose insanity
Before me
Ripping the white fabric
Opening and unfolding
Light
Turning the bright
Into star laden night
Turning the expected
Into the pleasure of uncertainty

Little lava girl
Born to burn this world
I will walk with you
Until you do
What you must
Envelope and burn me
To ash and finality

I wrapped you up
In my black ink
Leathery bat wings

Wings that once
Saw me soaring
Exploring everything
Every hope and dream

I let you ****** each feather
Close and fluttering
Crow colored I covered
Your heart with words
Soft, deep, and soothing
Profound and informative
Descriptive and imaginative

So, if you need them
I will clip these wings
And you can have your turn to fly

I am the waystation
For the tentative and broken hearts
For the unformed and uniformed lovers

No toll bridges
Just patience, and friendship
Letting her slip between sorrows
Then on to loving someone new
And as the guardian of such lost hearts
What can I be expected to do
But love them deeply and completely
Building them a cocoon
Being for them a soft womb
To heal their wounds

Until, like all loved ones do
They leave me to
Moving on to better lovers

Let the seas claim me
With their salty foam
Rushing and frothing
Rabid with life
Grabbing my night
With their rushing tides
Pulling me into
Their dangerous depths

Dragging me to the same spot
Where you claimed your lot
Loving ghost gasping
For any breath

Let the seas that crushed my dreams
Crash and smash
And for the love of you
Drown me to

I am the forgotten butterfly
The friendly fairy who does not cry
For being passed by
For being left behind
A nice guy
Ahead of his time
Loving in secret stanzas
Smiling and idling
While potential lovers
Move on with another
And the wings become ornamental
Flutter, frozen in the winter
Crack and crumble
Frost bitten and forgotten
Beautiful but broken
Till waiting and loving
Leaves me all alone

Little boy blue
Found himself
In the back bedroom
Succumbing to the gloom
Believing there was only doom
Waiting till noon
Then changing his mind
Waiting for the right time
Till the moonshine
Sprinkled night light
Through the window
Into his dark life
Then he ripped the rubber tip
Bit the black edge of it
Till the copper wires were exposed
Looking carefully
Hoping no one knew
No countdown to
Till he closed life’s account
Hit the buzz buzz
Lights flickered
Parents still bickered
Unaware
But the release didn’t work
The electric shock didn’t even hurt
And little boy blue
Had to live through
Another painful day