Just a push of a plunger
And I'll make you warm again,
Make you forget how cold the world is.
Just one hit
And you'll smile again,
You'll sink into my bliss.
Just one push of a plunger,
Just one hit,
And, my friend, you're hooked.
But there's a dark side to me,
A side you don't see,
Not right away.
I'll run through your veins,
Rampant, destroying all I touch
Til I'm the only one who can fix you.
Just one more push of that plunger
And you can think again,
Without me your mind's in chains.
Just one more hit
And you can breathe again,
But its for the last time.
Just one more push,
Just one more hit,
And your life is mine.

Stop and breathe
It isn't worth it
Try and pull back
I know how the tunnel vision works
I've been there
I've seen the darkness
But I promise,
There is a light
You may not know right now
With anxiety high as the sky
Listen to me now
Focus on one voice-
The valleys are as beautiful as the mountains
Take a step away
Make a little distance
Breathe the cold, fresh air
I promise
I promise you'll see it
There is a light, beyond the horizon
Just keep climbing

I watched a scary movie
the night silver girl ran away
because I knew nothing could scare me
any more.

Cold white layers pile over the grey concrete
I did not expect the storm but I
Needed to face the journey
Someday
We knew it could not last forever

And in that moment
An accident in my vision,
Maybe the music screaming into my ear
Distracted me from the obvious truth that lie
Just through the windowpane
Leading to a collision straight into reality

Your words, the concrete divider
That hit hard enough to take deep damage
Yet not hard enough to stop me from moving forward
The unexpected truth that came at the least expected moment
My ignorance overlooked the obvious signs
That i could not stay safe forever
Not at the speed we drove..

My skin hugged my knuckles tightly
Enough to match the descending snow
As I knew from the first swerve
Your first word
That inevitable fate
I surely faced
Death loomed close in my mind

But I drove on
Grabbed the wheel and forced my way through
The place where I felt nearest to the grave
Until I reached a safe enough space to see for myself
Just how much damage I endured

And, like my car,
I am totaled
Broken into pieces that cannot be reframed
Some lost at the point of collision
Others gradually passing over time
And some still holding on

In the eyes of an astonished mechanic
The car shouldn't even start
And according to everyone else
I should be dead
But I'm not

And though neither the car
Or my own life will ever fully
return to their original condition
We still drive on
Moving forward on the unpredictable
Icy
Deadly
Highway of life

1.) When your mother tells you she wants to **** herself, you will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too".

2.) You will sit in shocked silence like the ocean as it waits for the storm to pass. The storm will not pass. It will always be there. It will uproot the foundations of your home. It will drown you in the crying of the skies.

3.) Her hands will shake like a series of earthquakes have been running through her veins. You will try not to resent her. You will fail.

4.) Her lower lip will tremble like a leaf swaying in the darkness. You will try not to resent her. You will fail.

5.) She will say "I want to be engulfed by the sea. I want to not be able to breathe". You will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too"

6.)  Her eyes become headlights and you become the deer. You will want to run away. Don't run away.

7.) There will be days where you will miss the sound of nothing her arms can bring. There will be days where you will have to inject concrete into your own. There will be days where you will have to carry the weight of her broken spine and you will wonder how something so seemingly fragile can be so heavy. There will be days where you will have to be the strong one. But you are never the strong one.

8.) If you can't stop your tears from soaking your pillow, do not forget to flip it over. Do not let her the stains. Do not let her see your pain. Do not let her see how much this makes you want to bleed out from your eyes.

9.) She will say "I want to hang from the highest tree. I want to not be able to breathe". You will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too"

10.) These walls are a lot harder than you think and your knuckles are weaker than they look so please, don't try to punch holes into them. Take a camera and satisfy yourself with the emptiness of your own soul.

11.) Your brother will be screaming into the oblivion and you will be lying spread eagle on the floor of your bedroom. You will think of the mountain of ******* you have to face yourself. You will want to ignore him. You won't be able to. You will want to be selfish. Don't be selfish.

12.)  The TV will only show reruns and the news will keep repeating itself. No matter how much you want to smash the screen and rip the paper into shreds, don't.

13.) There are lines connecting you to this to her to life to death to flying to falling to burning to choking on every word you wanted to say.

14.) When your mother tells you she wants to **** herself, you will have to force a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too".

15.) You will regret forcing a fist down your throat to keep yourself from saying "me too"