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 Jun 2015
John Stevens
As I get older
I would rather be
         Independent.
Than in
         Depends
It all Depends
         After all
So far
         Sooooooo good.
This is supposed to be humorous.
To some.  It all Depends.
 Jun 2015
Mike Hauser
The guy at the diner failed to mustard Jake's hot dog
As he was eating it he felt as cold as a marsh frog
Yucky was the flavor without condiment
Chomping it down, a tasteless torment

As the fries on his plate were doing the backstroke
Having a jolly swim day in a puddle of oil
Asked for industrial towels to wipe up the slick
Before it caught wind of the Environmentalists

A complaint has been filed about their bill of fare
Nothing served over the counter would we wish to share
Placards will be shown over the Diner's facade
Warning customers of this ecological disregard

They won't water down their words like the Diner their drinks
Before you enter in you'll stop and think
About the Blue Plate Special with Salmonella on the side
Do you prefer your Botulism broiled or would you like it fried

Gastronomic delights such as they will make you pay
A stint in the infirmary is sure to come your way
With a tossed salad of pain, relievers, and antibiotics
Which none of the above will be deliciously exotic

If you can take the cooks looks and stomach the smells
Along with the service that's slower than snails
There's normally a coupon in the daily mail
Buy one get one free!
Ahhhh.....what the hell
 Jun 2015
Mike Hauser
This poem is being edited
From all the wrongs you read
The mistakes I've made along the way
Are not for the eyes to see

There are words that lose all their meaning
Turning misspelling into an art
Or the flow don't go the way it's suppose
Because of misplaced punctuation! marks

And I too often rely on spell check
To move my poems along
Which can turn my enemy into enema
I guess that's not too far off

There's so much more to poetry these days
Than running out of thoughts and ink
And me with only half a brain
It takes twice as much time to think

So while this poem is being edited
Please sit back and relax
If you see any mistakes that I have made
Speak up now cause here's your chance
 Jun 2015
Poetic T
Spank it, **** it,pull it hard, call it a Name,
Make it hard, just us those palm muscles
That have been working over time on this
Single person and their knackered hand.

****** it, shout at it, **** this doesn't usually
Happen, dam why are you not going hard.

Put **** on it make it wet, like in a *****
Just imagine two wet lips legs nicely spread
Apart, just  pam and her five sisters and a
Lonely curved palm.

Use your imagination so it,ll stay hopefully
Hard, my god my hands going dead this is
To much like hard work.

Tug in silence or moan out loud, over a magazine
Or over **** on TV, sound turned down don't
Want other to know, what ever floats the boat just
To get to that point that you need to ooze it all out.

But for the love of god make sure your door is locked,
To have your mother or wife walk in saying,

"WHAT THE ****,

You'll be limp in a second, and lost for a good excuse.
Of why you got ****, toilet roll and hand spanking
While shouting filthy ***** words out.
 Jun 2015
brandon nagley
Everyone on here's a lonesome poet
Just like me
Yet we all got eachother
So were not so lonely after all!!!

():
Being stupid tonight! Not what I really write lol
 Jun 2015
Chris
^

You got change for a dollar
At a quarter past seven
Then turned on a dime
And found pennies from heaven

Saw fifty cent pieces
Turn nickel to gold
When that old silver dollar
For two hundred bucks sold
 Jun 2015
Poetic T
Wake up pleasured, I feel it as you lick my
Stiffness awoken from sleep,
"ARRR,
Your tongue feels rough, but I like it woken
Pleasured from my sleep.

I open my eyes turn my head to the side
There you are still asleep, panic on a face,
As what is under the sheets still pleasuring
Me more, just one more minute, NO....

Under the sheets I do look woken by pleasure
But  not any more.

There are two *****'s I see as I look under the
Sheets, one shaved, one hairy and its the hairy
One licking while looking at me.

I am pleasured, but animal style, this cat is out
The door. Violated am I, never to tell the woman
I love, that another ***** has pleasured me nearly
Releasing the milk that would have made it purr.
 Jun 2015
Gaffer
January’s woman melts the snow.
February’s woman is good to go
March she blows like the wind
Aprils woman is sad then warmingly glad
May the shackles are off
June in bed till noon
July love on the beach
August same woman, roll on september
September’s woman is petite and coy
October is comfort and joy
November’s woman is fireworks, this is the one
December’s woman is ice cold, she’s just found out what  i've being doing for the last eleven months and wants a divorce.
 May 2015
Mike Hauser
Where did she go this time
This seamstress of the rhyme
Did she just up and quit
Had enough of it
Decided to move on
Flipping the silver coin
That came up on heads
So that is why she left

Where did she up and go
This seamstress of the poem
Did she even bid farewell
Tell us all to go to...
Hello are you out there
I'm in my underwear
That may be T.M.I.
What I won't do for a rhyme

Why did she have to part
This seamstress of poetic art
Since the day she went away
Things round here ain't been the same
Sitting here wondering what is up
Cause I miss Deborah very much

Oh and the part about me in my underwear now burned into your mind
Any good Shrink could erase that given enough money and time
 May 2015
SøułSurvivør
anagram!**

LOUD BEAR NAP!
BAN LOUD PEAR!
BARE LOUD PAN!
LOU BEND A PAR!
AOL BAND PURE!
Can you think of any others?
 May 2015
Dylan
Om shanti tra-la-lace,
empty head fulla space.

Mismatched mouth and mind,
squawking every word ya find.

Buncha penny-sized pupils --
spun-out "gypsies" popping pills.

When ya finally say what ya mean,
I'll be where I was with no in between.

Om shanti tra-la-lo
pack yer patchouli and go.
 May 2015
Richard Riddle
"Dressing up in Lubbock, Texas, means you're wearing clean underwear!

copyright:rriddle September 19, 2014 10:12am
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