I want to scream


I want to melt


I want to *****


I want to breathe


I want to survive


I want to sleep


I want to dream


I want to be more than I have been the past few days


I want to eat right and sleep right and exercise


I want to start being able to think enough to write things that rhyme


I want to stop saying "I want" all the time


I'm sad.

Summary of Today*

PREFACE
An artist of most kinds can concur
the imperial dynasty of ruling
with Absolute Control of the medium from a higher mind
Tapped in vessel flows the beauty of free form
I like this vantage point over my domain
Here I prefer to remain, power of my dominion
dominates through me to give ordered direction to my artistry

SYNOPSIS
I wonder what undercurrent pulled me to write with such Tonality
It appeared to be centered in the Theme of Revolutionary Rebellion
some kind of Helter Skelter Warning with Sincere Stance boldly stating
my Position in the light of things to come, coming, arrived and waiting

ADDITIONAL NOTES*
I have recently reclaimed my power of authority over my body
Body and Mind being facets of the same Gemstone that is me.
I had been in a being state, a child feeling, for a period, not quite able for autonomous activity
I studied closely, learning about this being, but recently have claimed Adult Control
I believe today was a loud coming out party for my Adult, in Control, Ready
Values in Check, Convictions in Check, Energy in Check, Child snugged in tight,
Protected she will come along and see what her future self is all about
...And it will be Good.

Twinkling serene surface catches light rays sparkling interfacing rivers run to water falls into turbulent torrents eroding stubborn rock face the rage of white knuckled pounding determination of right of way to rough to ride comfortably ebbs to wider space to gain common streams once more than any other natural Force is underestimated as it desires this cover necessary for any treasure must defend its value from over zealous scavengers take without giving back to the cycle of life is alive with feeling and knowing to much never is safe to express itself.

You loved me when
   I was loved by everyone else

but when I was lonely,

*you only made me lonelier.

For every shade
     of green you see
For every wave
       you catch in the sea

*I hope you remember me.