So let me captivate you with my tenacity
(My fervour)

The perilous fabric of you and I
Drowning in the palm of your hand
Undulating under your touch

I am the seabed and lay upon me yes
Let the waves crash
I am new and shiny from the abrasions of the sand.

There are plenty more fish in the sea but are any of them pernicious like me can
Any of them blow bubbles into your bloodstream can
Any of them out-swim the past?

Pick me up and skim me across the water
I swear I’ll go as long as I can
I swear I’ll try not to sink

I’ll try not to sink.

the pathophysiology of
you and i

something between
love me so ******* hard i
combust and
caress the sharpest edges of me
gently, softly

sometimes it’s only in the aftermath of lust
that we begin to dismantle people

now we’re in the graveyard of
all things good.

i am like a child
innocent in my adoration and
my cells respire for you
skin yearns
because i am foolish

you were a paroxysm
of breathing in light
fast

i found the atlantis
in your eyes
and then drowned in the
distillation of colour

your lungs were
coated in lies
that i breathed in
like air to survive

so dismantle the self
deconstruct the heart
find the morphology of love
for it was not shaped like
us

oh
good intentions,
good intentions

on being too much and not enough:
love me like you need me;
like my arms are home
not embers

for I’ve
growing pains, but in my
chest
and a map of you on the back of my knees.

the danger of vulnerability
my love, our love,
a parody of true love,
a marionette propped up by pleasantries and
obscura.

the tender fingers of moonlight caressing the hills, the skyline
in the nighttime as we traverse;
silky tendrils of hope and the mysterious promise of midnight,
stars blooming across space -
this is
our anhedonia

and with you I taste god;
impossible to get to know the
crevices of you and not
pour myself into them,
consume them.

play my heart strings like an
instrument,
guttural.
make me scream.

I was a wonder girl but not a
forever girl
much too much to
press under your thumb.

find someone more wholesome and
crackle-of-our-fireplace.
oh good intentions
good intentions
say goodbye.

it’s hard to love
love
it’s hard to deconstruct the
nihilism and the
consumerism of it all -
so this is for you
the eternal believer with the kind soul

never supine in the face of
failure
diving head first into
calamity by the name of
She

and maybe you’re right;
we’re built for it
machines oiled by romance and
adoration.
perhaps there is only
one true meaning.

how many hands do I have to touch
to connect to the world?
how long till my heart
bursts?

because, it’s the small things
and so:

love is the blanket
love is the month old birthday balloon still valiantly afloat
love is the dog greeting you at the door
love is his first breath, the gasp of new lungs,
is the grasp reflex of a tiny hand around your calloused finger.

and would you believe?
love is waking up thinking it’s dawn when it’s
2am and you can fall back asleep
love is a meal when you’re starving and
water when you’re parched
love is watching your friend do well because
they deserve it.

and love is lust realised
love is her perfume
love is the kingdom of infinite wonder and
love is like coming home.

love is love is love;
find your corner of the sky and
fill it with precious things.
rest easy.

My perfect date would probably go something like this:

Night time adventures and park benches,
staring up at the stars because the sky is so clear we could probably see
Venus if we squinted, looked hard enough;
dark canvas the pupil of God's eye, Him, smiling
upon us as we blossom, knowing what we will be
though we don't - not yet - tentative fingers and flitting touches;
a gasp of a moment as lips brush against one another fitting so
sweetly oh how can this be the first time
how can we not have been made to be like this for all eternity
how can you know my crevices so soon
how can this moment be so beautiful, witnessed only by the whisper of the air?

And
gorgeous idiosyncrasies,
philosophising together talking about the world because
small talk is for small minds and together we're the universal expansion, we're infinite -
oh my God the things we could be.

Maybe we're not looking for anything except ourselves but
I think I found pieces of myself in the curve
of your neck and upon your eyelids so why not
reconsider;
The best things happen when we're not
looking out for them.

Have me as I am or not at all.
All I ask is you keep me in mind,
I'm worth waiting for.
You know this is for you
don't be shy.