I'll never admit it
If only to spare my own
But somedays I run a knife across my wrist
When I'm alone.
I never break the skin
There's not a drop of blood
But I'm considering, thinking, 'maybe'
And that's normally enough.

But at the bottom of the barrel-
Where the sludge of Earth runs thick
Where I crafted my essence
Where I sometimes hit-
I don't want the knife
And I don't want a gun
I don't want a rope
I don't want to run.

I want to fall asleep.

I want to fall asleep
And simply fade away
And the world would never know me
That I'd gone or that I'd came.
I'd want to leave with a whisper
In the middle of a desert
Where no one is listening
So no one hears.

I'd like to fall asleep
And let it all end there.
There'd be no 'beyond life'
The be nothing, everywhere.
I'd like to simply fade away
As though I never eisted at all
I'd like to forget life and it, me
Like a friend I never called.

Whispers
     in alabaster ears
words unforgiving, unforgiven
      year after year after year.     
Whispered secret secrets.

      Laurel leaved lies of liars
traitorously spilling wine while
      tear after tear after tear
shed and shredded truth
      cut sharp with guile.

      Cloaked smiles kissing
hands of befriended strangers
      in strange lands lighting fires;
fire after fire after fire
       burning hatred blind to danger.
     
 Sentried angry glowers guarding towers
      o'er ever changing landscapes of desire
 hour after hour after hour.
      Come little child, take to your lips
a bitter taste of this our power.

r ~ 4/24/14

It’s presence we can feel
Our eyes can’t seem to catch a glimpse
Only possible through the gentle sway of leaves
And a whiff touching your hair
Or while brushing against your body
It can carry the fresh perfumes from afar
Winds are also a messenger, for things to come
Always making us aware of its presence
The wind slithers through the deepest forests
If it faces obstruction, it changes its path
Swiftly travelling to a new destination
Wind disregards the manmade boundaries
As wind is nature’s messenger
It can also bring a wind of change
It may be bright or sometimes sinister
The wind has neither creator nor destroyer
The wind is the master of its own journey
Traversing and circumventing any obstacles
The wind is the inspiration to so many poets
With the help of the wind the sailor finds the way
The wind is mystical and is also intriguing
Sometimes it also brings destruction
The wind also sweeps away the dirt
Bringing with it a change or transformation
It’s here, there and everywhere- omnipresent
Winds of change will sweep away over us

© Amitav (Radiance)

If We keep on Expanding forever
Then I Fear just how Lonely We'll get
Like the Stars, We All Burn out Together
...become the Ember that Cradles Itself

Well~Come on Up
I've not much Time, but I've brought the Love
ReCreate This Right
And Move Us Through to the OtherSide
Alas! Know We Show, Our Heart is Real no matter Where We Go
...Null is Right to let the Breath of God just pass Us by...
That's Why
Why I Try
and We Try
ReCreate This Right
...I did not Want to Know, now but I See What's been going on.....

If We keep on Expanding forever
Then I Fear just how Lonely We'll get
Like the Stars, We All Burn out Together
...become the Ember that Cradles Itself

So Above still We Hover so...
In Dead of Night, from Above, Below
ReCreate Our Light
Reflect it back for the rest to Shine
Alas! We show, our Heart is Real no matter where we go
ReCreate this Right
And Move Us through to the Other Side
The Wildest Write
To leave Their Legends and Lores behind
With Words they Show
For those with Mystic Minds to Know
We all want to believe and All can Conceive what's going on!!!!

If We keep on Expanding forever
Then I Fear just how Lonely We'll get
Like the Stars, We All Burn out Together
...become the Ember that Cradles Itself

trickery is rebellion
rebellion requires trickery

i am not innocent
you are not innocent
no one is innocent

how far could you go?
no more empty threats
just a question to think about
at night

when alone with your thoughts

Prison is
A four walled place,
With people scruntinizing
Your every move.
It's a place filled
With foul smells
And
Broken
People.

Prison is
A cage,
Encapsulating
Your very heart.
It prevents it
From falling apart.

Prison is
You
In your very body ,
Controlled by
your own mind.
You can't do anything
Or say a thing,
When it decides
To shut you up.

(c.c)

lush red apple
sweet juice flowing
grass green eyes
take blue hands
fly through maps
and paint gray skies

royal purple
ruby heart
wild fruit on fire
white intention  
topaz smart
design of my desire

ember pit
ash smoke driven
tar black vile
fool

counterfeit
cash broke riven
star crack smile
ghoul

it starts
much
in the way
it ended.

you can't
break
what you
havn't
mended.

-r0

Anger,
as black as a hook,
overtakes me.
Each day,
each ****
took, at 8:00 A.M., a baby
and sauteed him for breakfast
in his frying pan.

And death looks on with a casual eye
and picks at the dirt under his fingernail.

Man is evil,
I say aloud.
Man is a flower
that should be burnt,
I say aloud.
Man
is a bird full of mud,
I say aloud.

And death looks on with a casual eye
and scratches his ****.

Man with his small pink toes,
with his miraculous fingers
is not a temple
but an outhouse,
I say aloud.
Let man never again raise his teacup.
Let man never again write a book.
Let man never again put on his shoe.
Let man never again raise his eyes,
on a soft July night.
Never. Never. Never. Never. Never.
I say those things aloud.

Snap!*
Caught in your own trap.
Who's the spider, who's the fly?
See what happens when you lie?

Fight
Weave your web so tight
Twist it up it becomes your noose,
Beg your demons to cut you loose.

Run-
Aren't we having fun?
It's all a game we love to play
Until its done and you must pay.

I'm lonliest when my skin touches the bed
I want company most when the pillow cradles my head
I'm most desperate when the lights are low
And the space behind my eyes is blank as snow.

I want to talk more often at night
When all my contacts are asleep till daylight.
I'm impressionable, supple, at the sight of the moon
When all I do wait for the next day's noon.

I want touch more often before dawn
A lover to lay with, to sing disgusting love songs.
I'm more unstable before the sun shines
And I roll in bed to find nothing, expecting one of my kind.

I'm obsessive when the dark of night falls
And I nurture my obsessions as I wait for a call.
I'm irrational, illogical, when the sun's down
I turn my body to the wall and wait for any sound.

I'm at my worst, here in bed, tonight
With no one to hold, to clutch and call mine
I'm broken, shattered, in the moonlight
While the rest of Earth mutters their 'goodnight's

Written to the music of Passenger: Let Her Go... how apropos ;-)

may you never
know the strike
before it
becomes a blow
may you hope
to escape before
it starts to snow
hope you will never hate
what you've never known

may you only hope
that it will someday end
may you wish
you could only bend
may you never hate
what you've never known

and you've never known

Staring at the bruises on your face
one day you loved and the next you hate
but reality comes slow and you've grown so fast

You see yourself through your own eyes
and one day you'll wonder why
you prayed silently every night

may you never
know the strike
before it
becomes a blow
may you hope
to escape before
it starts to snow
hope you will never hate
what you've never known

may you only hope
that it will someday end
may you wish
you could only bend
may you never hate
what you've never known

Catching tears in the bottom of a glass
bleeding internally, drinking emptiness so fast
but the world won't last

But you see them truly when they rise
rolling so they don't spy upon your thighs
bruised so deep, fingerprints you will keep

may you never
know the strike
before it
becomes a blow
may you hope
to escape before
it starts to snow
hope you will never hate
what you've never known

may you only hope
that it will someday end
may you wish
you could only bend
may you never hate
what you've never known


and you've never known

Have you ever loved someone with

bird bones
paper thin skin
irises like pooling blood on a tile floor

Have you ever loved someone who
wears their heart on their sleeve in the way of a tattoo

Have you ever loved someone like

you wish their arms had heavy locks so that
you could keep them wrapped around you
until you grew tired of their embrace

Have you ever loved someone like
dripping IV bags
ICU at 2 am

Ever loved someone like
laying on the carpet in pain
watch the shadows on their face change
see the door open and close
these days the sunlight always looks the same

Ever loved someone like
dark circles under their eyes

Ever loved someone like
you wish to wear them like a necklace
have them ******* in a locket

Ever loved someone like
I would take a bullet for you