i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

i tried to buy a heart across the street,
but the man there said new hearts don't come cheap.

Promises kept
Promises broken
Silence so loud
Words left unspoken

Every thing's over
Before it's begun
Why am I lonely
If you were the one

You said goodbye
With a look in your eyes
Yet the words that you spoke
Were nothing but lies

You spoke of forever
Happy endings to be
But the story you told
Was pure fantasy

Misery, my company
My world dressed in gray
Steady rain of sorrow
The sun has gone away

Silence so loud
Words left unspoken
No promises kept
My heart is just broken

The best love
is the one that
makes you a better
person, without
changing you into
someone other
than yourself.
                                                                              Jon York  2019

It is not okay
pretending we are okay
Neglect is poison

I kissed a girl with a broken smile;
nothing could come near.
She carved it with a pocket knife;
slit from ear to ear.
And she wears it like her favourite scarf;
it keeps her from the cold.
So I told her its only woven by
her enemies of old.

He came in
as if he knew the place
Took off his coat without a word
My mind  raced
to the knife I keep near
He sat down beside my fear
Pulled me towards him
His hands saying everything

When I was a child,
I was taught poetry wasn't mild,
It was deep as the sea,
And it seemed truly unachievable for me.
I was taught poetry had to rhyme,
Every single line, every single time.
So poetry seemed out of my reach,
Like chasing a seagull down a beach,
Jumping ever so slightly away,
Or soaring into the sunny day.

So I never thrived for what I thought would,
No, Could
Never be.

I guess now I'm fixing the mistakes of past me.