But according to a fellow who's a pretty smart guy, its merely, mindless drivel
He says im a feeble and un-qualified hack, and my time is wasted and frivel
He says it reminds him of Dr Seuss rhythms, simplistic and predictable chime
Just word association with a few good lines, no storey, no plot, just ryhme
All that I know is it makes me feel good, when i read it it helps me cope
Some of my words bring tears to my eyes, and some of my words bring me hope
I wish I could speak with such depth and precision, but reality is not such a treat
I stumble in person, and lose train of thought, and a im really not quick on my feet
So I try to paint pictures of my feelings and thoughts, with words and phrases and line
Arranging for flipping like an old Kineograph, the images appear from my mind
I know I'm not Whitman, or Shakespeare, or Priest
I know that I can't hold a candle
But the paragraphs I form are magic to me
And sometimes their all I can handle

the self inflicted corporal punishment
often preceded by I am sorry to tell you
while bleeding from open raw sore
nerves suddenly exposed,

you say  (like a politician losing) - "I understand"-
while every cell, molecule .... fibre is screaming.
"Yes , certainly, we can remain friends",
as you choke down bile, the spite, ***** words
and swallow them.

Well, I have done that. And after a good mental flogging,
(by myself inflicted) gone on to realize, I
was a gentleman. But, with my right hand I punched
an innocent wall, and the hole in the door attests,
two of my fingers blue and aching bent
forever-

'twas not easy

I rationalize out of fear and shame
Saying love can be a game

She doesn't light a flame inside
But she looks every bit of fine

Maybe I can trick myself
Relationships are good for health

She's nothing like me but people change
Maybe we'll become the same  

But she does not think for herself
She accepts the truths of someone else

She lacks a passion, flame and creed
That I believe all people need

To lie to her would not be fair
I must break her heart because I care

I wouldn't teach you how to swim
I would
Show you how
To breathe underwater

I wouldn't teach you how to fly
I would
Show you how
You've always had wings

You've always been a dream
A dreamers delight
The rhythm of a drum
I a drummer

As a star at the center of a universe
You should know better
Than to believe the clouds
Can hide your light

I couldn't show you how to love
                           I would
                      Only be someone
                            You could

I would love you

i have nothing left except my breath
a sunset means another night to obsess
we are all only vessels in distress
sending out our best S.O.S

i ask "in death can i progress"?
can the dead truly be heavenly blessed?
will i pass the test without regrets?
or is this as good as it ever gets?

Just when you thought things were looking up, the feelings you thought you've forgotten come creeping back in.
Were they really gone?
No.
They were just lingering.
Waiting till you were vulnerable again to make an appearance.
But vulnerable or not, this time you're stronger.
Yeah, you're world still feels like its crumbling.
But you can make it through.
The storm won't last forever, and the clouds will come and go, but keep your head up.
Live the life of your dreams.
Do what you said you were gunna do when he left you with bullet wounds in your chest.
You're healing.
Whether or not you know it, you're getting better.
Tame your demons.
Take control.
This is your life.
What are you waiting for?
Now is your time.
Don't waste the best years of your life dwelling on those who take you for granted.
This may not be the chance you've been waiting for, but you should take it and shine on anyway.

And my golden heart
is upon the floor
beaten in its beating
once again I am
in this place
of questionning
eyes searching for
ancient,
            encoded meanings
I look to the heavens
my eyes blinded by salt
by oceans of deep blue tears
a sea of emotion
that never ends,
yet I take the silvery
wings of my fears
I stand on the edge
of this new beginning
and throw them
off the cliff,
watch them dissolve
into misty threads
winds wrapping
my skin like a gift
I shift my vision
as I prepare to mend
the temporary sutures,
this intensely stinging rift
marks the majestic destiny of
             my pending future
Now the reigns
of life
are in my own two hands
as I move forward
in my quest
conjuring courage
within my warrior's soul
despite the pain
burning through my chest
For this is the time
this is the hour
for dream-fulfillment
and true loving self-worth
and I know
I am the only healer
of who I am
on this journey
        at the cusp of
                           rebirth

I’m wondering and worrying
Am I blundering or wallowing
Do I swallow all my fears
And forget about the years
That came before today
And hope they go away
And never bother me again?
When does that start, when?

Grumbling and mumbling
Stumbling and bumbling
I learn to stifle my tears
And through catatonic years
I forgot how to play
And locked myself away
From the fellowship of friends.
I hope to survive until it ends.

Itching and *******, I switch
To calling people a sunsabitch
Because they don’t guess
Why I’m a big freaking mess
And help me to recover
Maybe come be my lover
Because I don’t know how.
Let that part start right now.

Smoking and toking every day
Won’t make the blues go away.
Huffing and binge drinking
Means I’m not really thinking
And too often these days
That is what I have prayed;
To be blissfully unaware
That I am going nowhere.

just a leaf left
on the pillow next to me
now, a whisper of smoke
vapor tracing your path

out the door
going back to the
limb I stole you from,
the place you must return

I rake my bed for more,
try to make
a place
for you to fall

again, next time.

**** me up
Make me want to explode
No no
Not no more
Cause I take control

Realisation
Its you
Not me

Lie
Cheat
Make circles
Endless
Round and round we go
Making me dizzy
Feel sick
Deception
Such a *****

Oh why
Oh why
Do you puncture me again?
Its a need
A want
A craving in ur being

Its you

So selfish
So cruel

Expectations
Cease to exsist
No longer in bliss
You lie
So vile
Its you

Mystify my mind
How?
How do you believe
Actually believe
Time and time again
The endless
Brown runny stuff coming
Out your mouth
Seeping down
To the ground

Its you, you do

Its a need
for you
so strong
To me
To every one

I feel for you
Not love
Not lust

Soley
Only
Pity
waves
More
More
More

Away from me you
Go
I push
You fight
Manipulate
Its you,
This time
I win

I found the strength

Happy am I
In control
Free
From negativity
Free
from your soul
Your darkness has left me

Bright
Rainbows
Beautiful colours
You have left with
Me
So strong you have made
Me
In fleeing from thee