Confessional Poetry - Hello Poetry

Sep 2019

Graff1980

I have been wrong many times,

and in them shaken to awaken
to some higher elevation.

I have been confused,

seen shadows stew
and my sense of understanding
require dismantling
and rebuilding
with scraps that I have
never even seen.

I have been growing

physically, emotionally,
and intellectually
expanding and receding
as if my existence
was captured in a cycle
of needing deep breathing,
of losing and replenishing,
Of seeing
then being blinded
just int time
to open my mind
and see once more.

Above all else
I have been changing,
everyday
into someone else.

Sep 2019

Graff1980

Untitled 300

What does the body remember
of the presence of pressures pushing against
in skin to skin contact,
the sweet exact acts
of parallel pleasuring?

Does it yearn to revisit those instances
in this arid existence
of apathetic individuals?

Do we need to see and greet
the people that we meet
with heartfelt hugs
that help us
feel at least a little loved
more than once a week?

Is the need for the contact we lack
unconscious, but so powerful that
living without it is emotionally crippling?

I have been struggling
with the confines
of my flesh driven mine
for thirty plus years
and in that time
sought the affection
that is as close as to the divine
as I believe possible.

A semi-spiritual relief of connectivity
to another human being,
sexually or with the passing pleasantries
of other platonic people.

Sep 2019

Graff1980

Untitled 299

The city is more or less
a brick layered mess
of sleepy people
wandering depressed
and over stressed
in this chaotic mess
of concrete and metal chaos.

Like living in Las Vegas
it is a constant gamble
and the dealer plays us
as the fools for ambition we are.

It infects and wrecks
the spirit that I was
trying to save
for the one I
planned to love.

It cut and shaved
the parts that
long to play
till I conform
to the warm death of
a forty plus
work week.

I try to take a bite
out of this city life
but it bites back harder
pushing me towards a
self-inflicted slaughter,
a sick shift suicide
under the burning
billboard lights.

I would be better
if I left for
the forest greens
I long to explore.

But the city is a mob
that will never let me
leave peacefully,
healthy,
or alive.

Sep 2019

Graff1980

Untitled 298

It is miles of negative
and perfectly positive
political perspectives
where people have self-selected
to remain ignorant
of ideals that challenge them
by following people
who are channeling
repeated talking points.

It is people projecting
a fake identity
that consists of parts
of the person
they would like to be.

It is others sharing
the beauty of their artistry
as they struggle
to connect to
those who view
the works of art
the artists seek to
give to all of you.

It is a bitter batch
of discontented
men and woman
complaining
and constantly trolling
posting painful venom
that burns the brightness
within women, children,
and even full-grown men.

While, somewhere in the distance
of this digital dissonance
there is someone who
needs just a little attention
to pull them from the edge of
the nightmare they have been
living in.

Sep 2019

Graff1980

Untitled 297

There is a gentle tugging,
a small thread pulling,
forcing the flow of tears
that have not fallen
in many years.

Just a tinge,
that makes me twinge
as my ducts fill up
and spill out
on some nostalgic whim.

So, like him,
the me I used to be,
I am crying
cause something caught
my heart string,

and the distance between
all those years of hurting
seems to disappear,
I can see it in the mirror
as those tiny droplets
finally appear,
confusing the current me
with a past reflection
I did not want to see
or ever be again.

Sep 2019

Graff1980

I Do Not Trust

I do not trust
our government
because of the
lobbyist’s
control of them,
how they buy
our politicians,
democrats
and republicans
to support
corporations
that do not serve
the interest
of our nation,
but instead
seek profit.

I do not trust the doctors
cause they got caught
prescribing drugs
that cost a lot
and cause
more harm
than helping,
because they have
diagnosed
healthy folks
with cancer
resigning them
to a life of suffering
and financial
devastation.
I do not trust
the pharmaceutical
companies
for similar reasons.

I do not trust
the news media
and the justices system
because they serve
the interest
of businessmen
and politicians.

I do not trust
the regular folks
cause they let themselves
get yoked
and choked
by the oppression
I have been telling them
all about.

But worst of all
I do not trust
myself
because I have been wrong
and I am certain
that I will be
wrong again.

Sep 2019

Colm

Each Morning

From the moment I wake
And stop breathing haste beneath ceiling fans
How I wish to create
Though I cannot always due to morning fog
And its mind over me
How it strongly takes
Two cups at least

How I Feel

#how #i #feel #each #morning

Sep 2019

David Bernard Scully

I saw you crying...

My spirit ascending higher and Higher
Till knowing there is no death hilariously
Knowing an ecstacy far above sorrow No
Reason to cry. My soul on a rope of light
Lifting Me above myself to the happiness
Of knowing -  Knowing  with certainty that
This was the Truth That to laugh was to
Leave this mourning earth for heaven
Laughter was invitation-an irresistible
Invitation   I would leave none behind

It was a wonderful conceit  It seemed so
Invincible till I heard you cry.  You did
Not stop but kept on crying.  I knew then
That you did not understand and did not
Want me to leave you to go where you
Could not go.  My fantasy deflated in the
Knowledge that it was but a dream .  To
Leave you beloved child I could never
Do.  I said do not cry Love where you are
I will be.  I will not leave you not ever.

You are gone now for so long and do not
Remember or cannot care.  Now it is I who
Cry and cry that you have left me.  I go on
A slow march to the grave that knows no
Laughter to easy the pain.  Alone. Are you
Now laughing some place and cannot hear
Me cry saying over and over: Do not leave me
Hear my crying .  Say you love me before I die.

Sep 2019

muteD

Utopia

I wish I wasn’t me.
years ago when my sister passed,
I wished it was me.
young and ignorant to the ways of the world.
young yet already wishing to be dead.
I wonder if wanting these thoughts to escape my head
is selfish..
If I believe ‘everything happens for a reason’,
then there has to be a reason.
but the truth is
I really don’t know what I believe in.
if I were to die
I don’t know if my soul would
Sink or Swim
even though
I can’t Swim
and with the world on my shoulders
I’m liable to Sink.

Uncomfortable.
Always moving,
always trying to find
the perfect place.
My Utopia..
Does that that make sense?
Does it exist
in somewhere other than my head?
Is there a world out there
where I don’t end up dead?
A reality where these thoughts
don’t eat away at me like
moths at cloths.
I have ten years worth of holes in me.
Everything I hold in just eats away at me
and I let it.

My Utopia.
What would it be like?
Dark
because that’s where I prefer to be
and quiet
because silence never hurt anybody.
it never hurt me.
a place for me is a place
where I don’t have to hide.
my thoughts
my feelings
my pain.
a place where there’s
always an ear to truly listen.
One that understands without me needing to explain.
If only there was a way I could talk
without my words being swatted down like flies.
I want to not feel alone
for once.
I want to be alone
and not feel alone.
I want to be okay with my own presence.
My own company.
I want My Candle of Loneliness
to be put out before
I am engulfed in the flames.
My Utopia is a place,
a place with no pain.

Written: August 28th, 2019

#utopia #perfectplace #perfect #sinking

Sep 2019

muteD

How am I!

my mind is so chaotic.
a mess.
a hurricane of emotions
wreck me
again and again.
time after time.

I feel like I’m losing my mind
and the want to know the time
and the day.
each day bleeds into the next sore.
and
every night blends into the next color.

how can I miss something I never had?
I miss the one called my ‘mother’
but I’d rather slit my own throat than talk to her.

‘do you got..?’
‘can you..?’
It’s always about what I can do,
It’s never how are you.

there’s this box around me.
as time passes,
it becomes smaller and smaller.
It’s purpose being to confine me
to loneliness.
oh how it feels to be the loneliest.

nothing makes me feel anything anymore.
anything different.
It’s just the same.
the same followed by the same,
every waking second I’m reminded of the pain
in my chest.

I hate dreaming.
those dreams just remind me of a different time.
a time where having people who love you
was as easy as telling the time
or finding a rhyme.
now I’m left to wallow
and swallow all I have to say
because no one really understands anyways.
It’s always ‘you could’ve..’ ‘you should’ve..’
It’s never
“I understand.”

Written: September 5th, 2019

#chaotic #hurricaneofemotions #emotionallyunbalanced #depression #sadness