in between my insecurities

I can’t be found sometimes,
dumbfounded by my surroundings.
hiding,
in between my
insecurities.

i’ve been captured in the moment,
scared to say another word,
caught ,
in between my
insecurities

I got lost within the essence,
talking nonsensical thoughts,
lying inside,
in between my
insecurities.

I learnt my lesson swiftly,
teenage years, lunchbox idioms ,
sandwiched,
in between my
insecurities.

I listen to the songs they sing,
about the peace and the love,
about unity and compassion.
I stop,
and I hear nothing.
Why do you think they're always in my ears?
I keep them near to me.
artists are truly born somewhere other than earth,
they pass by on shooting stars
belting out their messages so sincere.
but does it actually hit earth,
or does it just turn to dust in the sky?

I don't seek your permission...
To write about the what, why and how.
It could be a haiku or come in the shape of a cow.

I don't need your approval...
When I don't sound the least bit poetic...
In my mismatched metaphors or ill-rhymed acrostic.

I'm not asking for your blessing...
When I pen down and put up what I think...
Be it in cloying cliches or in tear drenched ink.

I don't crave for your understanding...
When my 10 word poems weren't filtered through your poetic lens,
Or if my contributions in collaborations lack in sense.

I don't hope for your likes...
If my content does not tickle your fancy,
Or if my words just rubs you silly.

I mean no disrespect...
But don't be too quick to click on the 'comment' button.
Private messaging has been put there for a reason.

I don't mean to cramp your style...*
You're entitled to your own opinions of course...
But if you've got nothing good to say, please save it and shove it up yours.

When I think about it,
I’m a glass half-empty—
I’m running out of myself
and I don’t know how I’m going to recover.

I want something that I cannot have. I cannot have it because I don't truly know what it is. I've seen it polished and propped as if it were on display and I've heard the stories of how much time and effort it took to make it look as such. But I want it. I want love. I want the idea of it at least.
I want the fights brought about by events simpler and less important than the time we wasted to have them. I want to be pained by the sight of her pain and know that the feeling of knives piercing my chest when I see her cry is there because I would literally drive them there myself, if only to prevent her tears.
I want our laughs to intertwine over the smallest things and our conversations to stretch our minds over the biggest. I want to see you sleep at night and I'll smile because I know that you're finally at peace. And I want you to smile when you wake up because you know that I'm fighting to make your reality better than your dreams.
I want love. I want romantic love, I want crazy love. I want passion. I want to pick you up in my arms and in that brief present get lost in your presence. I want to be in you when I am in you and have you wish that I would stay forever. I want to be in your heart and mind, and I want our love to be torturous and blind.
I just want love. I want the idea of it at least.

Who am I
when not in the eye
of all those who can see

Do I behave
stand firm in my faith
in all that I believe

Does my Godly character
often endure
with the battle that is me

Or do I fall
in spite of it all
where my words don't match my deeds

Who I am all alone
when I'm on my own
says much more about me

Than who I allow myself
to be in the crowd
for all the world to see

When I was a young man
A heedless headlong consumer of life, was I
Above and beyond the norm or necessity
I wore paths deep and wide
To the pleasure centres of my brain
And I rode my soul like an easy *****
Oh happy daze of hedonism
How sweet life tasted then

If there was drink to drink
We drank it
If there were songs to sing
We sang them
If there were fights to fight
We fought them
We had fast feet and faster wits
If there was hell to raise
We raised it
Excess and adventure in equal parts
How fast, how high we flew back then

And then the magic playground
Became a bleak and dangerous place
Peopled by predators and prey
In an ever changing food chain
And I was only one step away
From the totally oblivious
One brain cell ahead of
The permanent reality challenged
Then friends began casually dying
Barely noticed in the rush to join them
Now the race is on
And I have grown old and slow

                                              By Phil Roberts

Need to get ready
For the coming war

Can't get the things I need
Because I'm poor

I'd ask mom for money
And she'd ask what for?

I'd tell her
It's because
Of human beings mom

They've done it before

Need a shovel
To dig real deep

Hide inside
Won't hear a peep

Look at the scream
And look at them run

DARPA drones are deadly
And not much fun

I know America has done
Many wicked things
In the past

But my Syrian neighbors
Are good people
Have to make the canned food last

We'll have to
Pull together
You and me

These good and decent people
Lovers of Liberty

The global masters
Aren't like
You and me

No shred of human decency
They'll tell you to March
To the beat of their drums

And that 1+1=3

Some type of spiritual battle
On this earth

Many people agree with me
For what it's worth

No food at the supermarket
No food in town
Don't look now
Everything is shut down

They will ration gas too

You never thought
You would see it
In the land
Of the red white and blue

Baltic Dry Index
As low as it's ever been
Seems like the global economy
Is on a downward spin

Chinese ships empty
Going broke
Not enough cargo to ship
It's no joke

Dow Jones is way down too

Without water
We are *******

The rich have other locations
Secret hideaways

My family just has our faith
In what may be
The end of days

We're a kind and decent people
Don't you know

Welcome to earth
Welcome to the show

It matters what you do here
I sure hope
I can persevere

He said he would be with us
Until end of days
King of Kings
Be not afraid

Hidden deeds in darkness
Will be brought to the light

Sometimes life's so hard!
But you'll be alright

Everything is A-Okay
We all have our part to play

They plan a global government
Apartments stacked high
Citizens monitored every minute
Don't ask why

There is He
Faithful and True
On a white horse
Riding through the sky

Appear here
Reappear there

No work is done
I am not seeking fame

Or claiming credit

When the end comes
For America

I'll be standing on some
Trail somewhere

And in those final hours
I'll dream of meeting
A kind and caring woman

And if she does not come

So be it I suppose
I'll sit on a stump
And eat my granola bar

Somewhere secluded
The cool mountain air
Feels wonderful

If you think you can
You will
If you think you can’t
You won’t
If you think you ought
Then do
If you think you naught
Then don’t
WIZDUMBs BY JA 581

It took me awhile to get my head back together
There was always enough time to give up hope
Depressed episodes of emptiness playing forever
My Mission. My Friends. They were there too
Funny thing is, I was even more afraid ‘cuz of that
A voice argued with me to “try”
Try because no one will forget the day everything changed
The moment they were able to fly
Another argued “why bother?” Reality didn’t exist anyway
That society would cover up our work
I really never was some kinda hero
“Then why do this? What did you hope to accomplish?”
I don’t know…
I guess I just wanted to save the world.