And those pretty little firefly's
that used to illuminate
the sockets of your eyes
must have been soaked up by your crys
must have fizzled out and died,
inside of you.
Because there's no longer
that burning light
that used to ignite a room
And put the stars to shame.
And since they died out,
you haven't been the same.

And honey, i can try to ignite them again,
With all i have,
But I've done all i can do
darling the match lies in you.

Life is a maze,
Some of us get lost along the way.

When I burn around my edges
And sometimes my very core
You shower me with your love,
When it rains it pours.

In the heartbeat she gave me,
would i give all to thee
once more.

There are a million and one,
rainstorms, tucked neatly into those tearducts
enveloped in those beautiful eyes of yours,
didn't anyone ever tell you, love,
its okay to cry.
So let those rainstorms fall,
lace your cheeks and tumble gently over your pursed lips.
There's beauty in the break down,
There's beauty in this,
Moment of vulnerability,
Unfamiliarity,
And there will be clarity,
Once your storms have been exhausted,
And the sun will rise again,
In those eyes.
So darling sit and pull yourself close,
Let those liquid droplets,
Drown you in your clothes,
For i promise you will float.
Pull your knees in tight,
Cuddle up in your own embrace,
And allow those weighty storms,
To trickle down your face.
Feel free to whimper and maybe ask why,
Sweetheart, its perfectly okay to be hurt, be vulnerable, to cry.

And when it rains
it pours
in that little mind of yours.
So you take your thoughts
and hang them out to dry
in the form of a poem.

Losing you proved harder than
I'd ever imagined.
So I took the memory
And pretended it never happened.

I buried you,
In the corners of my smile,
And hid you in the gaps between my teeth,
And every once in awhile,
I shone you,
In an attempt to conceal my grief.

I bottled your scent,
And put it in my pocket,
I captured those enchanting eyes
And placed them in my sockets.
I tuned your name into the beats
Of my heart,
I sewed you perfectly, into me,
So as not to tear myself apart.

I took that warm touch of yours,
And carried it in my hands,
I took that soothing voice,
And placed it into bands,
That I laced through my hair,
So when my levels of despair
Reached boiling point,
I'd never forget, that you were there,
That you had always cared.

I took your reassuring grasp,
So I'd never walk alone,
I kept your number,
Tucked neatly in my phone.
I took your kind and gentle ways,
And reinforced them to myself
As the days,
Passed by.

People told me I should start to let go
And I simply replied
With the answer of no.
Because letting go,
Means losing all of you,
And call me crazy,
But that I could never do.

And people wonder why I struggle to sleep
My answer
I forgot how to count sheep
After the night you sliced up my dreams and threw me into relentless nightmares.

Why is it so hard
for us to accept ourselves as we are,
and yet so easy to pick out our
imperfections and scars
and allow them to taint and tar,
combine and define
the picture we paint
The person we are,
and the person we believe we should be.
The staged presentation
we allow others to see.

The clocks came to a halt
As our conversation cracked and fizzled out,
And there was no longer a need
To scream and shout
Because with our arms wrapped the enemy
Of our lover, one another,
We were once again complete.
But you were never willing to accept defeat.
The silence became intoxicating
As it seeped through, caressing the entire room
And fed up with the waiting,
Done with all the slating,
You got up and left
All too soon.
And our only goodbye was the mixture
Of our scents,
Your whiskey breath and my stale cigerettes.
That danced in the air.
The fire inside of me began to smoulder
And the devil on my shoulder
Lay down at rest.
The night grew colder
As day drew through the blinds
And reality burst through, in dark colours, amongst the leaves
And the gentle breeze from the window
Awoke me to its short sharp scratch.
As I came to realise
You were never hear
And really it's been three years
And  I'd spent the night showering myself in my tears
And grieving a loss that
Had been and gone
Many years ago.
The clocks started ticking again
As I accepted the reality
And the formality it came with.
As I dressed for work,
I buried all of the confusion
Anguish, pain and hurt
Under bright red lipstick.
Your favourite colour.
And though I knew what I knew
Before I left
I still turned and waved goodbye to you.
Our memories crammed inbetween frames
On the Mantel piece,
They say coping gets easier
Of those deceased
Tho I have my reasons to question
Such ideation.
It's been three years,
And the house is still the same
Everything is similar
Except now I'm classed as clinically insane.
I guess you could say,
Your death, tore open and apart
My cell membranes,
Leaving room only,
For damaging remains.


And the job I'd got up and dressed for
And the night id stayed up and present in
Wishing, to see you once more
Were both fantasies,
Dreams I'd formed
Tho I wasn't dreaming
And my my mind is screaming
For you to not be gone
And it will never stop
Until we are at peace as one.
So the sun may shine
And the clouds may break
But me, I will spend the day,
Laying under our duvet
Wrapped in yesterday's memories
Of you and I
And I will sit and cry and wait
For fantasy to overtake reality
Because its hard to understand
When the two are so blurred
That I have no clue
If I can do or undo something that's happened
When there's no pattern
Just confusion.
Evolution of a broken mind.
And if I dig deep enough
Consolidation in you I find.
Despite the constant reminders
That you're gone,
Baby I'm still holding on.