three years ago you promised to marry me
I was only fourteen
not like that really
means anything

it never meant much to you
who was on the verge of something new
found time to spare; an hour or two
as long as all of us knew

and you
and me
and him
knew things could change like the wind

our trust was thick
but our blood, paper thin
and were all sick
still thought we could win

Austin, my city,
my concrete joy
Austin, have pity,
my sweet boy

too scared to keep moving and
forget what it was
there's no going back
i can't lose

can't see the stars tonight
if it were 2015 again
maybe it wouldn't be
all that painful

no, it would be
wouldn't it?

or maybe you would cry
endlessly
into the night
because you knew

back or forth in time
i would be gone
you would follow suit
no escape from our reality

and in your reality
did you ever really love me?

answers won't do good
can't bring back hours lost
or restitch the holes
where our wings used to be

we won't take off
but i will dry my tears
we won't exist any longer
but the stars are clearer up here

they're were always this bright
you would tell me

but i was too busy
looking
at you
wishing

for better dreams
holding my hand
feeling and
being

i didn't feel alive
except, you were so sure
wanted me there
staring at the sky

so i extended my arms, felt the taste of air and
i was

because you aren't coming back
i'll swallow my promise for good
i'm a train running off the track
but i'll never waste any food

i didn't care to eat too much
nor was i allowed
and if i put too much on my plate
i will finish it all somehow

***** once or three times on end
cause it doesn't feel right
force it back inside again
that's just love looks like

everything is going to be okay
still digging in; fork and knife
covering my ears makes it all fall away
for you, i'll devour life