The first thing they will see are my eyes:  probably glazed over or maybe bulging with anxiety and regret. Maybe dipped in tears, a salty salute. A salutation of goodbyes.

The last thing my eyes see: four boxes stacked neatly together. Cubicles or canteens to hold my sorrows and secrets. Binders binding the bills that beat me down. And the makeup stacked haphazardly to hide the beating and the mistreating. A treated piece of wood your grandfather made you, but you can’t stand to see it. Hats and gloves to keep my numb limbs warm, chapstick to keep my lips from warp. Pigment passes my pupil, a grey brown and then it’s all over.

One last snowflake
And the roof collapsed.

One last raindrop
And the levee cracked.

One last grain
Before life is breathless.

One last kiss
To seal my blessings.

Some nights I spiral up
to my wormhole dreams
and stay
till morning light
people that have left
are there
some still here there too
travelling at the speed of time
that holds you present
to surprise me
with a childish kiss
but the lack of light
the room inhabited
I was distracted
being close to you
in the stillness of your sight

I’d like to apologize for the skin I’ve separated. Severed and fileted in vein, literally. For the water fall rush of warm liquid that fills my palm, but doesn’t quench my thirst. For the pain I can’t carve out and can’t seem to get enough of. For the Carnegie that is my bathroom floor, an ice skating rink for the depressed.

Depression man, she’ll get ya if ya let her

I’m as poor as a rich man, but I’d buy it every night for the rest of my life.

I mean do you know how much love I harbor for you. Waiting for you to come back. Not even a drip slips out in your absence.

when your screams were loud enough to shake my happiness off the walls,
when your fist raised more than the hairs on my neck,
when your eyes became empty as the walls that you shook, when your hands were so rough I wondered if they had ever held me at all,
when my room was involuted, when my soul shrunk back in on itself, I moved on

If we take the same bite at the same time with the same *** is it plagiarism?

Today I tried to die
Wrinkled my nose up at life

काला साया

एक काला साया प्रवेश कर गया, उसके हसते खेलते घरमे ।

पता नहीं चला किसीको तब, क्यों की था वो एक दुल्हन के बेस् में

उस बेटे के लिए तो यह कहावत सच निकली; "शादी या बरबादी"

बस कुछ दिनों में ही छीन गई उस हसते खेलते घरकी आबादी ।

दूल्हे को पूरे वश में कर लिया; फिर आयी देवरों  की बारी ।

ननंद और सास को पहले अलग कर दिया पती से;
बारी बारी;

फिर देवरों पे लगाया निशान; कोशिश रही लगातार जारी ।

कुछ सालोमें, पती को बना दिया गुलाम; हार बिचारे ने मानी

सब हार गए, बिल्कुल अकेला बिचारा हो गया, नगरी थी अनजानी

दूर कहीं जा के खो गया;  मां ने प्राण त्यागे, बहन राखी न बांध पाई ।

काले साये ने उनकी हसी खुशी सब छीन ली; संग उसके वो कालिख लाई ।

दुल्हन के रुप में, खुशी खुशी आया; और फिर, सिर्फ दर्द लाया ।

दुआ कीजिए, कभी कोई घर में आए न ऐसा काला साया ।

Armin Dutia Motashaw