Dearest Dear,

    This is my last attempt
    The very same people
    who I'm going to miss.
    Tears stream down my cheek.
    My head feels heavy,
    limbs go weak.
    Darkness surrounds me.
    Blankness,
    no sound
    I feel my body drifting
    I hear a scream, I hear a moan
    Oh Guardian Angel!
    It was my family
    I want my family back.
    No sound out my mouth,
    Only in my mind.
    No one to help me,
    No one for me to find.
    I start to yell...
    Please get me out of this hell!
    Please get me out of this hell!
    I give up!!!!
    
     I open my eyes, and look around
     I am  lying in a hospital bed
     No one makes a sound
     "Sorry" is all I say.
     Mother starts crying,  Father is sad.
     I got a bear hug from Papa.
     I still manage a small smile,
     And close my eyes for a while.
     Forget all the bad days,
     I'm leaving them in the past.
     Misty clouds vanish and,
     The new Aurora commence.
          
    * Sincerely
    * Haritha

You were the shark that bit the skin off my bones
You left me naked, and let me sink into the bottom of the ocean- buried
Left in the dark with nothing but my memories
You took my identity
In the beginning I was shocked, devastated, and afraid
But now I want to thank you for washing my sins away
You took more than my skin when you devoured the flesh from my bones
I became one with the Sea, the biggest piece of me- water
There is a purpose for the evil we allow into our reality
To defeat or even to be defeated by it
What I allowed to happen changed me
I felt the water that had always been a part of my body
I drank it out of a chalice made from the rocks in the Sea
It fed into my empty bones, and I started to appreciate where I came from
I started a life all over again
I rooted myself to the bottom of the ocean only to allow myself to turn into something more beautiful that would one day find it self with ankles, knees, toes, fingers, and a heart beat
Maybe one that I could actually hear this time
Or even feel aligning with the breaths inside my rib cage
I would appreciate the movement of the water flowing through my veins, up and down my spine, and connecting to my brain
I am water, and it is mostly all I have ever been
With out the bite from your rusted teeth that night
I would have never understood what it costs to be human
What it takes, and what it means to break
I am not afraid to die
I can now even stare into its lonesome eyes
I am so free, because of us
Thank you for your gruesome ending
Your shallow stomach
Your broken heart
Your manipulated kiss
I will always remember the last time we touched
If I lose my way, I know we will meet again
You can not forget your first love
It is what carries us to every next day
And I love you so much
Why do you think I decided to stay?

You broke my heart
You cheated on me
Now you've lost me
I am free.

Step by step, breathe by breathe
It's all okay not a thing in sight
me, my thoughts, and my longing
"what hey say does not matter"
That's what people tell  me.
Days. they go on. As do I.
Keep down the urge. I will not cry.
The perfect girl with a great big smile.
Skinny waist. Long hair. Ones to love.
How is it fair?
The words pierce my ears like a raging sweet song.
i am not what you say, I promise.
I am good.
Climbing the ladders, scaling the walls.
Drinking the poison...
i see him...
He screams the words known so well.
hits hard like a........
To late I'm gone.

Within this crumpled heart of mine lays all the lies,you have made me believe yet i hunger for more.

If love is real where is it?
I don't see it
I don't hear it
I don't smell it
I don't feel it
If love is real why can't I have it?
Can love even be had?
Why do people believe in love?
It seems to think that its a mystical creature
Is it?
What is love?

Maybe if I cared, maybe if I tried, maybe if I changed, then he wouldn't be gone.
He would've stayed a little longer, and maybe even loved me a little harder, maybe if I bothered, you would've lasted a while longer.

I lost count of the sheep while waiting for sleepiness to take over.
I lost count of the seconds that tick by while waiting for your plane to take you home to me.
I lost count of my footprints on the sand while waiting for you to come follow me.
I lost count of the dandelion seeds i blew away to the fields while waiting for the wind to whisper to me those words from you,"i miss you."

I lost count of the days.
I lost count of the nights.
I lost count of the stars and stop wishing upon the moon.
I lost my sense of numbers.

Why did i still not lose my feelings for you?

Cause baby, the truth is...
I'm still hoping; not minding how long i will be waiting; that some day, you'll hold my hand and say those three words-i love you-to me.

I'm in pain and it's all because of you.*

I shouldn't have let you in my life in the first place.
I shouldn't have let you creep inside the barriers i've built all my life just to protect my self from this kind of feeling.
I shouldn't have let you own a space in my heart.

Because now, i do not know how can i survive a day without hearing your voice, seeing your smile, or have goosebumps whenever i see you steal a glance.
Because now i do not know how to fix that barrier, or i doubt if it will be strong enough to resists your every touch, your every stare, your very presence.
Finally because i don't know how to take back that space that you have claim, not forcefully, but so effortlessly that it surprise me how much of my self is willing to get hurt. Over and over again.
A repetitive process.
A series of nightmares.
Slowly break my heart, my dear, as it metamorphose into a million glass like liquid called tears.

Until all of the feelings i have for you hangs itself up in the air and be left stranded. Until it is all gone. Gone forever.

-This one's for you.