it is light
it is how i write and write but that's the only word worthy of describing
it is waking up in the middle of summer on your own time
it is closing your eyes with the sun on your face
comfort in blankets when safety is thousands of miles away
free thinking and blushing and taking day-naps
one thousand questions with repeated answers
it is smiling so hard your face hurts
clean sheets and sitting in empty fields
it is car rides with the windows down
the way the moon reflects across water when the sky is deep purple
it is dancing in the refrigerator light
with no socks on
at three am
to a quiet song we hum the next day
it is coffee in the morning
alcohol that stains your brain and makes you feel like you're underwater
it is the first time we touch
with enough electricity to power a city for a week
it is the weightlessness of your laugh
and messy bedhead
it is the way distance disintegrates like poetry
and your promises in prose
always on my mind
in my words
it is that thing people are writing about when they say,
"when you break my heart, it will hurt like hell"

To all the purpose i will have
To never change but evolve in some way
To all the words i could not find
To all the memories i tend to forget
To all the thoughts that destroy my mind
To hope i found in everywhere
To the one i was the one i am
To all the people i thought i loved
To all the things i could not say
To all the moments that fade away
To chances lost and chances found
To sharing life love and peace
To every perfect including life and me

I knew about you
because of the news

You were 2-yrs old
It was a happy day
Was supposed to be
A wonderful Disney trip

I couldn't stop thinking
I just couldn't

I felt so bad
I felt so much pain

Your body grabbed
by an animal
Your parents crying
the World praying

Why?
Why God?
I know I shouldn't ask you

The World is still praying
for the parents who lost a child

I'm trying to accept this lost

I didn't know you

But it bothers me

You were 2-yrs old.

Hunger or Anxiety?
My stomach does backflips and I think it's Hunger.
You know, the kind that clings to your rib cage,
Trying to **** out the bone marrow.

Well cheers to you, Hunger,
The kind that makes my eyes hurt and go fuzzy in sunlight.
Your never ending creepy-crawly feeling makes me feel like going for a swim to wash you off.

It's times like these that make me want to live.