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nicolle Apr 2015
eight years, and
your dead figure still lingers in our dreams.
you left so soon.
this day is unbearable.
every year i force myself to believe i'm fine
but realise i haven't been
and i wonder if
i ever will be.
letters to dad
nicolle Oct 2014
i cant say i love you, that's too selfish of me,
because i disappear into myself.
a lot.
it's cool that you don't question me,  
don't blink an eye -you take it as it is,
as i am--
and i love that.
it thaws me out and pushes me back to the surface.
i gasp for air, like i actually want to breathe,
i want to live.
you,
just being here.
that, that's everything.
i can't say i love you
because its selfish.
all i am, is all i have to offer.
nicolle Mar 2015
i was at my weakest,
when i believed in your empty promises.
i followed you, blindly,
into love.
nicolle Nov 2014
from the mind
to the mouth
lost in translation
nicolle Nov 2014
stewing in my own mess
licking my wounds
i like being alone
but i hate
this lonely feeling
nicolle Mar 2015
about you and i
me and you
how we were
how we're not
a couple
now strangers
take the next exit on the left
nicolle Mar 2015
he asked me to stay with him overnight,
at the hospital,
numerous times, i was selfish.
i refused each time.
i just wanted sleep, without the antibacterial smell,
without the beeping of machines, without the whispers of death.
without the constant reminder that i was going to lose him forever.
letters to dad

— The End —