Why do you keep relapsing?
Well,
Its like yours mind give s you a hunderd reasons
To be happy.
And your depression says
Wait.
Here's a reason to be sad.
Every single thing thats wrong,
That you have done wrong
In your entire life.
All of the memories
And then that voice over rules
Everything.

Home alone.
You break down,
letting out everything,
crying as loud as you can.

Your family come home,
and here you go.
Fake smile,fake laugh,
pretend everything okay.

They do not suspect a thing.
They do not suspect their child is broken and falling apart.

Everyday it gets harder.
Everyday it is a nightmare
                progressing on and on.
Everyday is another prayer
           echoing from my bones,
asking God to please take me now.
Everyday I close up more and more.
    It is getting more impossible to stay here.
Everyday I feel myself die more and more.
     When I  lay down each night,
I wonder how ill leave this hell..
       I never felt so much pain.

Just one cut,
During the night,
Crimson red that feels so right.

Drops that last all through the night,
Your only friend,
A shiny knife.

The ones you love,
Only judge,
so no one knows,
The horrible curse.

You start out young,
Then move on,  
The marks are deep,
The scars are long.

The ones that stop you,
Care the most,
The ones that don't,
Just let you go...

You try to stop,
But thoughts come back,
You mark again,
It's not your last.

You are the smart,
You hide the marks,
Beneath layers of cloth,
In hidden spots.

The very next day,
the thoughts come back,
It starts all again,
the marks are back,
that forever last

Only some,
Who truly know,
The life of having a horrible curse....