When I was a little kid
My friends and I would play
At cowboys and Indians
In the barn with forts of hay.
We crafted guns from sticks
We found about the farm
And though we shot each other
We managed to come to no harm.

Bang, bang, bang! I got you!
No you didn’t, you missed!
The bullet whizzed by me!
You can’t see me in the mist!

Of course, if we were Indians
The same rules held true there.
You never managed to **** us
We never took your hair.
But, we knew we were villains
Because cowboys were king.
We didn’t even question it.
It was that sort of thing.

Bang, bang, bang. I got you!
Cowboys don’t ever cry.
We twist and dodge you redskins
So, don’t even bother to try.

Holding invisible reins, we rode
On our noble painted steeds.
We pretended it was the old West
Here in our playground of weeds.
Some of us had play weapons
Santa had brought to the lucky
But forcing improvisation only
Made us a lot more plucky.

Bang, bang, bang. I shot you.
You ***** lowdown rustler.
Oh, we thought of every dodge.
What young, clever hustlers.

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones,and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the,shocking fuzz
of your electric furr,and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh….And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

Freedom is like peeing when you’re pressed
Or blowing your nose
Like dancing reckless to good music
Or a floating balloon in strong wind

Freedom is like you and I
Laughing as we walk slowly
Hand in hand under the rain
With bare feet and without care

Freedom is like us
All of us
Letting go of opinions
And daring to do
What makes our hearts beat faster
Not du-dum, du-dum but
Free-dom, free-dom

there is no noise in the backyard
there are no voices in the backyard
but
go close to the bushes
and see

the slimy snail sneaking up to the strawberry
lying in the muddy pond

oh snail!!!
go slow

the bed of brown is cracking beneath you

go close to the trees and see

the leaf from the tree high above
is falling towards its grave
awaited by the worms

the roses were blooming
the berries looked ripe
filled with juice
filled with sugar
filled with sweetness

the rays of warmth
passed through the branches

the sun passed over my house
the moon snuck up
and shone a dim light across my little forest
and all my creatures drowned in the darkness

waitin' to be rescued by the hands of heat
waitin' till the moon went clockwise from south to west
so that they can lift above the shadows
reveal their colors
open their wings
and let the wind push them back

then

i will set foot in my forest
and explore the wonders
that hid from me today.

I thought that you were angry with me
you expressed it fairly well
ran me over with a car
I almost bled to death
not that you would care
then you come cryin' to me
and then expect me to forgive you
that fake sorry look on your face
isn't going to melt my heart
isn't going to make me forget that incident
it's imprinted in my memory
scarred it as well as damaged it
i can't even look at you
i never thought, out of all the people
YOU'D do this to me
it's not just about the pain
it's about the fact that you would attempt something like this
why not just stab me in the heart with a knife
rather than hurting me 10 times more
emotionally,physically and any other way imaginable
just get away from me
stay away from me
so that i can heal myself
and the memories of you can slowly fade

I drove to the bank yesterday
I drove to fill my gas tank,Easter day

my dad went fishing with his friend today
and why shouldn't they?

leave me in the house
its no problem
i'll just sit and stare at the walls
take my brother too so there's no one to play

don't bother stocking up the fridge
forget about the electricity bill

mom's on the other side of the bridge
working for us
earning for us
just like dad

the clouds are crying like me
their tears falling on the roof
like marbles on the floors

the TV isn't working
neighbors are off skiing in Aspen
and i'm stuck at home

why can't I go fishing?
no room for me?

when will I go to Aspen?
when everybody will be going for vacations to Antartica?

this life's no life
trapped in the house,no phone

shoes muddy
hair curled up
breath smelling like socks

the day is over
but my complaints aren't

mom and dad are home
relaxing in front of the TV

Is EVERYTHING fine now?
Can I stop complaining now?
and MAY I go to sleep now?
Because i'm tired of complaining
now.

Today my mother gave me yellow pillow sheets
and I freeze at the thought of falling asleep to your favourite colour.
I wonder if she knows my pillows are the only company I keep.
They are the ears for all the things I could never tell her.

They recognise the weight of your head,
the touch of your skin and subtle kisses.
They know when you’re not around and when I’m wide awake
and play the lullaby of your heartbeat and giggles.

I wonder if she knows that I still think of you till the Sun rises.
And if she’s saying “It’s okay if you find it hard to let go,
but here’s a list of all the different colours
you can paint over the ***** yellow.”

My walls are now of an endless storm.
They are the clouded memories that will keep me warm.
So no-
I don’t want to fall asleep to your favourite colour,
I don’t have to.
All the grey still makes me think of you.