I can't shake this overwhelming drowning sensation whenever we speak
I guess it could make sense, since you never taught me how to swim.

Gasping for breaths and thrashing for support, I taught myself as well as I could how to keep above the unforgiving pungency without the comfort of a stable hand.

I've swallowed countless bitter gulps, struggling through each moment on my own. Teaching myself the things you were never very good at.

I am not a strong swimmer.

The farther I walk, the harder it is to see.

I hear all the noises in my surroundings;
The wind is gusting approximately every 10-15 minutes and the cicadas around me are nearly 10 feet away.

I don't hear any footsteps with me
Where are you?

The miners work day in and day out
Picking their world of resource throughout

Examine and dig, examine and dig
Becoming a pattern as they no longer live
Examine and dig, examine and dig
Looking for necessities the world no longer gives

Stiff and swollen their hands will ache
Begging for mercy as they're verging a break

Examine and dig, examine and dig
Finding desolation as they no longer live
Examine and dig, examine and dig
Destroying the world that was once so big

I like to pretend that I overeat when I eat 1/4 cup of scrambled eggs 2 pieces of sausage and a croissant.
I like to pretend that every time I skip a meal everyone notices how much weight I've lost.
I like to pretend that when I eat 5 pretzels that it counts as dinner.
I like to pretend that in a month I will be pretty.
I like to pretend that I don't have a problem.
I like to pretend that it's okay.
But it isn't
But they don't
But it doesn't
But I won't
But I do
But I'm not

It always ***** with me the way people blatantly mislead
If there was a way to make humanity sincere in every aspect, the world would ******* implode
You see lies and deceit in every inch of the world

How many pounds will you lose from that new weightloss supplement?

30!
they forgot boldly mention the measly stomach cancer side effect that commonly occurs

**at least they made some money

I am as dead as the first leaves that fell when the temperature started dropping
I sit at the bottom of the pile under the hundreds of others that are just like me
I am damp and discolored
Just like everyone else
Except I hold the weight of them all
And noticed the least

Everyone grabs a hold of me all at once
Each hand is pulling on my bones
and clawing at my skin
Digging their nails deeper as I make my way in a particular direction

I feel the rough texture of the hands
I feel it at all times of day

I feel it when I go outside
I feel it when I wake up
I feel it when I sleep
I feel it when I eat
I feel it always

I'm never without the hands
clawing at my existence
Dragging me in all of the directions I could go
but never leading me to a place I want to be

Sometimes they lead me to my bedroom
Decorated in all my artwork
They sit me down so I have a clear view of my creativity
I see the hard work and motivation I had
But I never feel any spark

Sometimes they lead me to my kitchen
and I will look at all the food my body needs
They pick out the foods that I desire the most
But then I get lead into the bathroom
and they kneel me on the cold tile floor
with my own hands propping my head above the toilet

Often they lead me to school
To classes that I listen in
that all have the same white walls
and same tile floor
and I hear all of the teachers saying the same kinds of things
That we must prepare for our future
You must apply for colleges
We have to prepare you for college
Your future is now
Everything is important
You need to do this
Without this you won't be successful
my stomach gets sick my hands shiver with anxiety

I lastly will get lead into my living room
To a familiar chair that has a soft feeling of home
I notice a stack of pictures and polaroids
slightly tanned from age
of the memories I've forgotten about
and I see my dad
I see him smiling while he's holding my brother as an infant
A grin so full of happiness that you would never think it could fade
Then I get pulled to his house
I see him standing there
He's thin and gray
and his smile has faded
I don't get the soft, home feeling
Because this isn't home

It really is quite a feeling
I'm a black hole
and I can't stop hoping
That one of these days will be what I expected

It really is quite a sensation
I'm scared shitless
Merely at the thought of living

It really is pitiful
How much hope I have
For a future that brings nothing

In the woods I trail to see,
Sticks and moss and covered trees

Still and silent, I hear the wind
The grass doesn't move, the trees don't grin

Covering where they used to shade,
The leaves lay still at their grave

I wander deeper and start to run,
In search of warmth, a rising run

Still and silent, I hear the wind
The grass doesn't move, the trees don't grin

Clouds roll slowly overhead,
Keeping sunlight from being shed

I spot a cave and start to explore,
As the rain beings to pour

Still and silent, I hear the wind
The grass doesn't move, the trees don't grin

I feel the warmth inside the cave,
Protecting me from nature's rage

I find the comfort to rest my wears
Until I feel that I can bear

Still and silent, I hear the wind
With dancing grass and trees that grin

Birds are perched on each little one,
Singing to welcome the emerging sun

There is beauty in everything we see.
In every inch of every tree.

There is beauty in blades of grass.
Always growing while seasons pass.

There is beauty in the soil we spread.
To grow the things not in our head.

There is beauty in all of our minds.
We think the things we aren't able to find.

There is beauty in all of our hearts.
Seen with change that passions start.

We often are too worried about material things.
To notice the beauty that nature brings.

Turning to night, the birds will sing,
Showing their love of everything.
That's when I need myself,
To hold me up like no one else.

The lonely shark has got not heart, when it's swimming in the ocean's dark. Lookin for someone, with no sight. Feeling somethin, without the light.
the lonley ocean's got no soul, when it steals a sailor's gold.
Looking for closure, without a trace. Feelin discouraged, with
out any space.
I've learned to live. I've learned to die.
I've learned to live without goodbye.
Without you here, I'm not the same. Without you here, there's none to blame.
The lonley girl that's got no voice, when her father makes his choice.
Looking for acceptance, without praise. Looking for love, without any phase.

We all have these ideas in our mind
Of things we dream and hope to find

We're still and we're silent, as we ponder throughout
The lives that we live, as we think we're without

We always need more, or we always need less
We always need something, that we cannot possess

Though without dreams, there wouldn't be life
A dream without action, will never suffice

I can't breath
I stay up until 3:00 in the morning until my lungs have had enough.
I will torture my exhausted mind with images of the things that could have happened.
I clench to the thoughts that this world is filled with hope of something pure, something brighter than it really is.
There is nothing pure about this world.
This world is not a place for hopeless romantics.
This world is not a place for me.

I can't help but imagine my future
I know in reality it will be nothing like I dream.
I won't meet the perfect man.
I won't have the perfect job.
I think most people have so much hatred for the life they live because in the beginning we are promised big things.
We are made to believe we can do anything that we set our mind to.

Tell me how many people in the entire world are exactly what they dreamed of being.
and then tell me the number of people in the world

Those odds aren't great enough for me

I guess I just want more than I'm worth.

It starts very slowly
As slow as the snow that first falls on the top of a mountain

The snow keeps falling
slowly

Each flake of pureness falls and becomes still
sitting
waiting

One single speck of snow that falls on the sondering pile
becomes a burden

Everything breaks

Silence breaks and the sounds of crashing and crackling of sticks and twigs. The trees are taken away by the still pure beauty of mother nature. The silent snow and all of it's stillness becomes a ravishing and destructive force in the matter of seconds

Nothing stays still
Nothing stays beautiful

It starts very subtle with a simple kind of rhythm
Then fills the room to the very brim with passion of sound
Dancing through my head with such poise and grace
It tip-toes down my spine balancing on my vertebrates
Makes it way to my throat without hesitation
Thus curling my lips into a smile so sweet
I close my eyes and drift to sleep

"You're nothing but a *****," the brutal beast spouted.
I fall to my knees "but please!"
as he shouted, "You're nothing to me, not a daughter of mine,"
he said as he reaches for me one last time.
Punch after punch he is almost down.
Not before one more slap to the ground.
"Are you finished?" he whispers as I try to get up.
"No more free shots," he states so abrupt.
The police came and took him away.
They left me alone for hours that day.
I contemplated my life with those few hours I had.
How many pills until I can forget my dad.

Stars surround stars with death close by.
Each little star will surely die; amongst other things, so will we.
But we have the power of eternity.
Humans surround the world without guilt
Of ruining the land that he built.
Upon the grass that looks so green.
Are us and them, the world we see.
Below the grass that looks so green
Are things that none have ever dreamed.
So breathe and breathe before you lose hope.
You'll surely die and never know.
How life could be oh so, sacred.
In a world where everything's taken.

I can't seem to ******* grasp the concept of communication.
If I think someone and feel something I should ******* say what I think and feel.
It's not socially acceptable to be blunt and honest, is it?
If someone is say sweet things to me in hopes of getting in my pants should I, or shouldn't I tell that ******* that I don't appreciate being manipulated with words?
How many "I love you"'s should it take for me to believe it.
Because  I swear to ******* god,

If I hear those words one more time I won't be able to stop myself

Simply sweet, as sweet could be.
Like a berry on a tree.
Forever there without a glance,
Mesmerized, as in a trance.
Softly spoken, hardly a sound.
Your murmuring is so profound.
I see you as all you can be.
Start your life, here with me.

We all get stranded out in the field
with a routine of things that never yield

The happiness we so deservingly seek
Turns mundane and makes us weak

We snip and cut at everything warm
Until our bones will show what we think is the norm

Tear at our flesh and rip through our lives
becoming the things we all so despise

We make ourselves sick with the image of love
With sharp thorny roses and disease ridden doves

I'm stuck between a loaded gun to my head and the overwhelming feeling of disappointment.

I still can't decide which would be most horrifying to face

My head ******* aches with all of the thoughts I meant to say bouncing around from skull to skull and bone to bone and my nerves are shot
my stomach growls because it's begging for life

and i am choosing to ignore everything

It's ever so subtle
The way it dances so eloquently past you
With much more prominent things to worry about

You are so minuscule
Wandering aimlessly without poise to your steps
Uncertainly presuming which trail to roam

I can't see winter as beautiful

Within the winter months, the sky turns gray without any remorse. Almost as if it were being overtaken by an outside source of power.
The once beautiful blue sky is no more. The sun, that usually stays consistent, is almost unwilling to peek through the damped gray curtain.

Like it doesn't want to witness what is happening to the beautiful world it's created.

The strongest trees grow bare. Their outstretched limbs snapping and breaking trying to exist. Instead of holding their budding beautiful leaves, they must withstand the heaviness of winter.
A glaze of frost and ice cover them, and they are no longer flourishing. They're forced into a kind of remission, waiting for the beauty to return.

The ground is frozen. With every step hard and dense, with an echoing crunching sound. Animals no longer scurry about, or sing in the trees. Leaving a loud stillness engulfing the once lively land.

Snow will fall and soon cover what is left. Covering our eyes to what has happened. The plants are dying, and our beauty is dwindling. Forced to retreat into our fortresses and force the feeling of discomfort when we go outside. A feeling that otherwise is a feeling of excitement.

I can't see winter a beautiful.