I love you
not because
you're good looking

I love you
not because
you're caring

I love you
not because
you dote on me

I love you
not because
your smiles are sweet

I love you
not in lust
of your crevice
or orifice
or skin

I love you
because
without you
I feel

incomplete within.

I'm stuck in no man's land
Somewhere in the middle
I'm not white and not black
Not up and not down
Not friend but not lover
He won't let me in
He says he likes me
He likes me a lot
"but let's be friends" he asks.
My heart breaks.
theres no in between for friendship and love.
You can't have my body and not have me.
And you can't ignore me.
Either have me or leave me.
But I refuse to be somewhere in the middle

Years have gone by. Years in which I've sometimes felt lonely and scared.
Years in which dark clouds sometimes gathered over my happiness.
Years in which the feeling of despair to find a girlfriend became stronger and stronger.
I know I'm only 18, I know I shouldn't worry about love.
That's why I've learnt this one very wise lesson: Looking for love is a hopeless quest and will only take you further away from love. You should let love find its way towards you and bury itself into your heart.

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

Sometimes your heart needs to be broken
So you can see what's underneath,
To the flicker and flame of your soul
That you've always been destined to meet.

Sometimes your spirit shines brighter
Through the glimmering light of your tears,
And when you arrive at the end of it all
Love will outshine the darkest of years

If I meant everything to you
why did I feel inadequate...