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Beckawecka Oct 2015
When Dante saw Beatrice,
Shakespeare did weep.
Rosaline and Romeo,
Paris and Juliet.

So tell me, what is supposed,
Of the other girl?
The girl who is not loved,
But loves alone?

The girl who takes multiple journeys along multiple roads,
But keeps ending up at cul de sacs?

She is not Beatrice,
She is not Rosaline,
And she is not Juliet.

I hope she is alright,
I hope she is alright.
I'm not dead,
Nothing changed,
Just because you see me different,
Doesn't mean I'm not the same.

I'm not lost,
I went the right way,
Just before I followed blindly,
In fear of what you'd say.

I'm not confused,
I know who I am,
Just because you don't get it,
Doesn't mean I give a ****.

Don't tell me what's in my head,
I know far better than you.
Beckawecka Aug 2015
One day,
I find myself
Stroking my hair.
My fingers place between three ribs,
Of my best asset.

I look down at them,
Fine and fierce and fearless.

Three ribs,
Barely cut,
And it hangs off the cage of my head.
I place my hands on either side of my head,
Trying to steady the shaking, malformed,
Ball of meat inside.

I know I'm crazy
Sad girl, mad girl,
But I need to find myself.

The scissors of my hands slice
The three ribs
Off,
They curl in brown and blonde tips.
They tangle, contort, into senseless shapes and letters,
And fall in hand.

I can feel it
When the only place I seem to exist is in my head,
It's my hair,
That lets me know I'm real.
Beckawecka Aug 2015
Love,
Has made me shameless.
I see your face, your car, your dog,
Pointless things that I attribute to you,
But I don't see them,
Not really.

And so I am here,
In the dark, lit up by the blue
Of Facebook on my computer screen.
I hold no shame,
For I am desperate for a sample of you.
I am hungry for you.

This sort of thing I'm doing, kills you inside.
But I need to see you
I need to remember your details,
I can't and won't forget you.

I know you don't do this
To me,
Things I thought were romantic was just friendship,
The weakest of friendship.
I'm just too dumb.

You and me; We pretend
That we're just friends,
Well, maybe you're not pretending,
But I am.

I see you to remind me of you,
The way you crouch over your guitar,
The jut of your chin,
The way your eyes shine,
When I make you happy.
Long, delicate fingers,
The bump in your nose,
Your acne,
Your hair,
The girlish colour of your mouth
That I hoped would touch one day
With my own.

For you, I have not suffered for my art
I have simply suffered.
And all that has come of it are the silliest, the dreamiest of girly love poems.
But I mean every word.

My dear, I've wasted my precious time
I'll let you sing your pithy rhymes
My darling, you've been a fool-
I'm a crazy lady, I'm no light touch-
But so have I.

You're a crazy boy, you're no light touch
You pulled me in with both hands-on
How was I supposed to get out?

Leave your places of worship,
That we share.
Perhaps you were special;
You were just different
But I am integral, and you are temporary.

You're just a friend, I suppose, if that's what I want it to be,
But that's confusing.
We pretend
To be best friends,
But were we really?

All I see, is just me
And you blowing me off,
And me saying to your mother
"Oh no, we're friends, it's fine."
My God,
What a ****** boyfriend you would have made.
What a bullet I dodged!

Darling, it's been ten months,
And we only live once.
Ten months ago,
Maybe I'd think differently.

My dear, perhaps you'll realise
And then, you'll feel
Your head will romanticize it all,
And perhaps you'll write some of your finest love songs,
About a girl, who cared, and cared far too long,
And now she doesn't think twice about you.
Ain't that sad?

I used to like
The idea of being your muse.
Bob Dylan's Suze Rotolo,
WB Yeats' Maud Gonne,
But
I'll be my own muse,
I'll inspire myself.

Life moves with water and sun, not with you.

Because, darling, it's been ten months,
And I
Am
Over you.
Beckawecka Aug 2015
Oh darling
You Thought You always had me
i thought you'd sweep me off my feet
oh darling
i was only second best
oh darling
i never matched to your test.
i guess i was second best

oh darling
your blue eyes seemed to stare right through me
but we were just friends i guess I couldn't see
and now we're friends
but we don't have to pretend

oh darling
you're such a bore
oh darling
you whine and you snore
oh darling
you're not my baby no more
oh darling
you're not my darling
Beckawecka Aug 2015
I've barely met you,
But I like the sound of you.
You seem like someone who gets me.
I think I'd like to stop feeling,
Perhaps you can help me.

Let's run away,
I can't be "normal".
Let's be asylum seekers,
Seeking the end of the world.
I hold my hand out, and you can say yes or no,
But
Let's run away.

Let's travel the countries we've never been to,
Cheap cars, easy ***
Everything we say is meaningless
And ain't that the beauty of it?

A boy holds my thoughts at home,
But I'll let you hold my heart.
I'll never tell you how much I miss him,
But perhaps,
By the time we're on the road,
He won't matter anymore.

We don't have to face
Nightmarish reality
We can keep driving and we can never stop

I miss him, I miss him so much,
But we can be
Our teenage dreams,
We'll still think they're heroes,
Even though they're not.

Suburbia is calling home,
Ignore it
Come with me.
Take me with your teenage dreams,
We'll be alright
I promise.

My hand holds out
With a stranger I've never met before
You're that kind of person I get the feeling,
That I'm in love with.

Let my hand
Slip
In yours
And clasp it.

Darling,
I'm only
Ever
Yours.
Beckawecka Jul 2015
Go down to Skeleton Grove, go now,
Wait for the ghost train to pick you up,
Then walk past
The green bushes,
And into the green maze.

Find there all your childhood memories
Give them a ring.
Place your foot on the lily pad,
Let yourself glide,
Ankle-length hem of your nightie
Trailing against the blue water.
Red and blue flowers slide on the pond surface,
Then dip below.
Like the skulls.

Find the whisperer,
Between the trees.
She's calling out your name, hurry
Run after her , chase her, catch her.

But all you can find is a girl,
With rabbit skin.
Pink eyes closed in a dream,
Small body of bones lain beside her.

The maze keeps going, twisting on itself.
Let the man take your hand, and when you do, let blood blossom all over his body.
Pray for the *******, the stolen lives,
Manifesting here.
Childhood in the looking-glass.

You find yourself falling, falling
The **** of the mermaids, against a rock,
Get out, get out as fast as you can.

But then you realise, you can't.
But then you realise, you've been here all along.
But then you realise, you never left.
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