I see myself as a light bulb
I light up people's rooms
not really being noticed, but when I leave
it's too dark to see

And I need people to enlighten me
without them I can't shine
They indirectly light up my world
with a little help from myself

And some people don't need me
because they've got their own light bulb
They've got their own spark
Or it's not even dark without my light

This is how I keep myself alive
This is how I survive and accept life
People need me and some don't

that's okay

But please
don't let me be a waste of light and energy
I can't light up everybody's world
I don't have an unlimited amount of energy

I get tired sometimes

don't call me that
and
don't call me
astronaut or

good

provider
businessman
trader
father
lover

all ******* up charges

mark me plainly
Cain stainedly

mark me
just
as plain man

for plain ordinary man,
failure is
an ok option

too bad
some hu-mens
must be
princes and princesses,
even poets too,
and all the rest

*for them,
failure
is no option

I lost.
I ******* lost.
The well known battle between head and heart.
Neither of them won.
There came a new player.
Stronger,
Bigger,
More powerful.
It took me over,
my head and my heart.

I don't exactly know what 'it' is.
But it's here.

And it's not leaving anytime soon.

I loved the idea of loving a disaster.
I loved the thought of floating through the wind, whilst the storm is just getting worse and worse.
My love was all but a waste of time.

But the disaster was yet to come.
You took everything and threw it off a cliff. There was nothing I could do about it.
There was nothing I could ******* do about it.

House of power, secret of the night,
But he won't back down.
I dare to ask you my final question, my final fantasy:
Can I kiss you?

Don't ever fall in love with a man
that you think will change,
because he won't.

You can't change a man with hatred,
or loving, or support.
When you yell everytime he fills his empty glass,
he will drink the whole bottle.
When you yell everytime he lights up his cigarette,
he will smoke the whole package.
When you yell everytime he hits you,
he will hit you harder.
But when you yell louder everytime he does,
he will become silent.
He will say absolutely nothing.
Drowing in his own regret,
Trying not to make things worse.

"Because men aren't supposed to cry."

Just wait a while, don't settle for someone who you might change. It isn't worth the risk.

Get out.
Leave.
Run, run as fast as you can.
Hide, but do not seek.
You will find eventually.

It was yesterday, when I knew you were the beginning.
You are the beginning, you are the end
and you are everything in between.

I feel the wind through the holes in my chest.
I forget that you are only human,
but you feel like so much more.
I want to burn, but I can't hold a match,
because my hands tremble everytime I get to hold something.
I'm afraid I'll drop it. I'm afraid I'll break you again.

This book might not have a great story,
but it has enough pages to have a happy ending.
I will get there.
If not, I will change the words.

Turn left, turn right, change directions.
Choose your own path. Euphoria will follow.

Please don't stop giving me shelter.
It's warm here, it's safe.

It's been one year.
One whole ******* year.
It's funny how I was at your house this time
and how I was lying in your arms
staring at your ceiling

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise"

Was it really like that?
Was I really that naive?
Was it easy for you to break my wings and take my abilty to fly?

"Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free"

I was happy when I met you
I was happy when I had you
and even now,
after one whole year,
One whole ******* year.
I am happy.

"Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night"

I am free.