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Oct 2018 · 342
Jij
Forgotten Oct 2018
Jij
Natuurlijk ben ik niet bang
Angst ken ik niet
Ik heb de grootte van de hoogste boom
Heb een huid als een pantser
Ben sterker dan twintig beren

Hier komt niemand doorheen

Behalve jij

Jij

Met je lichaam als flatgebouw
Vingers gemaakt van laserstralen
En de sterkte van een-en-twintig beren

Jij gloop naar binnen

En ik krijg je er niet uit
Jun 2018 · 476
Drama
Forgotten Jun 2018
Ik ben bang

Ik ben bang dat als ik het niet doe, niemand het doet
Ik ben te kapitein, ik moet het doen
Als niemand het doet, blijven we stilstaan
en stilstaan is achteruitgang
en voor achteruitgang heb ik geen tijd

En zelfs als zou ik het willen delen
Ik heb mezelf zo ingebouwd dat het niet eens kan
Ik leef van hokje naar hokje
Mijn hele kleurenschema af op één dag
Terwijl er maar één kleur mijn leven beheerst en dat is
Rood

De kleur van falen en het moet beter

Maar het kan niet beter,
het kan alleen maar slechter
De druppel die ooit de emmer liet overlopen is een zee geworden
En ik verdrink
Ik verdrink in alle taken die ik nog moet doen

En dan mag ik ook nog het water opruimen
Sorry, ik doe eens iets in het nederlands
Jun 2018 · 175
11:27PM
Forgotten Jun 2018
I feel
I feel a whole **** lot
and I don't know how to stop it

I am in love again but
this boy makes me just so

he makes me so

so

I am a hairblower on the edge of a bathtub
I am a razor blade on bare skin
I am an ocean that looks like puddle
I am the danger that is always looking
and waiting
but never striking

I have all these feelings and I don't know what to do with them
if I tell him
the danger will strike
and I will get hurt

I have fought so hard to get where I am now
and I know he can take that all away
with just one word

"No"
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
Jan 2017 · 681
Drunk poetry
Forgotten Jan 2017
Mile after mile
I'm tapping with my foot on the rythm of the trafficsigns
But also on the beat of the music coming from the radio
With my eyelids I blink the light away from me
I'm letting the silence get to me
The sound of people talking from the seats in front of me
Disappears in the sound of the rain

I'm a poet under influence
Thinking of the good old days
I wrote this in dutch when i was completely wasted
Aug 2016 · 1.1k
01:41 A.M
Forgotten Aug 2016
1.
When I was 13 years old, I thought I had hit rock bottom. I thought I could never see the sky as blue again, only as a shade of I-don't-want-to-be-outside.
2.
At 14 years old, I wish I had someone who could have made me feel better, who would take me to a better place. But not the better place that people call death.
3.
I stopped believing in myself when my mother told me I never even tried.
4.
I said to her that I tried so hard, maybe even a little too hard, that eventually I became nothing.
5.
Well, at least that was what I thought back then.


1.
Nowadays, I call myself a fortune teller. I will become an astronaut, or even a scientist. I will become the inventor of something amazing.
2.
I also found out that the person in the mirror is smoking hot.
3.
A pair of wings had grown on me. I do not need other people anymore to tell me that I will be just fine. Just. Fine.
4.
A couple of years later, I have all kinds of things growing inside of me. Some people call it selfconfidence and a pretty smile. I call it healing.
5.
I am healing.
Frick this felt good
Jul 2016 · 647
Fuck this I'm drunk
Forgotten Jul 2016
I wish alcohol was you
So if i ever opened that bottle
It was filled with love and not regret
Because i feel it in my bones with every taste
That I drink for the greater good
For the better purpose
But its just me
And my brain
And i don't know what is happening

I just hoped i was a better person
Or even a better drinker
Cause if i drank love
I could have shared it
I could have given it to the people who needed it

But I don't

It's just me and my brain
I wish you were here, I wish I could have shared my love
Jun 2016 · 454
Home again
Forgotten Jun 2016
My house is not a home
Because my home has green eyes and two open arms
It catches me everytime I trip over the past
Or even the future

Fear is the only thing that can get to me
But I do not fear anything when I am home

Home with him
In his two open arms
Forgotten May 2016
My bed is not as comfortable as it used to be

I could toss and turn for hours but it still would not feel right

As I lay in this bed I think about the beds I could be laying in

About how much better i would fit in them
And about all the dreams I’m missing out on

But then again, this bed has been here forever

It’s been good to me and did it’s best for me

It’s been here forever
I had finally gotten used to it
But only cleaning the sheets and adding some pillows does not make this bed a good bed

I hope you don't know what I'm talking about.
Dec 2015 · 520
I remember a person
Forgotten Dec 2015
I did not fell for the boy with the stars in his eyes
Not for the arms that felt like home
Not for his scent that smelled like tomorrow

I fell for a boy who is real
And he fell for me because i was real
He had green eyes
Arms strong enough to protect me
And a scent that i bought for him for his birthday

He was not something that i created in my own mind
He was who he is now
These things made him the way i want to remember him
I don't want to remember him as a poem
I want to remember him as a person
Oct 2015 · 655
I miss you
Forgotten Oct 2015
I have been running away from you
Running away into the woods
Where there are trees taller than the house i grew up in
And beams of light that shine brighter than my mothers smile

As I wandered off into the sunset
And hide behind the leaves
All I kept thinking was
'He would have liked it here'
Jul 2015 · 542
Will I ever be okay?
Forgotten Jul 2015
I am so small
Tiny
Fragile
I like to think of myself as a strong person
Determined
And big

But when I am with you I feel like the tiniest move I make
Could turn this world upside down
You make me insecure
I have to reconsider every step i want to take
I just want to be what you want me to be
It's exhausting

Someone once said:
'Your skin is tougher than your soul will ever be.'

It hurts.
Jun 2015 · 261
More
Forgotten Jun 2015
I have never wished that there were more minutes in a day
Until i met you

I do not feel empty anymore
But i do not feel whole
You fill me up with love and then leave me wanting more
I have got feelings bigger than my heart
Leaving me restless,
Wondering,
Not sure if i belong

You carved your name into my heart
And i can't get it out
Apr 2015 · 409
I don't even know anymore
Forgotten Apr 2015
Since I've met him,
i don't have any poetry inside of me
I don't keep it locked up in my head
It flows out of me everytime we kiss
Hold hands
Of when his heart and mine melt into one

This is all i have got to say and i cant even finish this sentence cause my heart and my head are a mess and i have never been this much in love and it is scary and exciting at the same time, i am finally getting over that ******* because i am IN ******* LOVE WITH SOMEONE NEW AND THAT SOMEONE NEW WILL BE MY SOMETHING NEW

**I'm a mess
Dec 2014 · 383
Natural disaster
Forgotten Dec 2014
Hoping for the best
Beginning to fear the worst
Hearing names that sound familiar
But not the same
Never ever the same again

The wave just swept over us
Dragging us to the places we never got to see
Letting us think about everything we ever did
or said
or felt

We feel so little now yet we still are overwhelmed
We never wanted to hear the answers
Cause we knew,
It was not what we wanted to hear
December 26th, 2004
Oct 2014 · 756
I understand
Forgotten Oct 2014
I never understood the way my dad would stand up sometimes and just stand there for a quiet 10 seconds

I didn't know if he was trying to figure out what he was going to do
or if he just liked standing there
or that he had one of those moments where you feel like you might pass out and you can see all the stars right in front of your eyes

I was only six at that time
I am now older
and more grown up than my dad will ever be



My mother is yelling


My father is quiet


And I understand

He's trying to figure out how to fix
the mess he has gotten himself in
But thinking does not go well
when your blood
is turning into alcohol
At times i hate him but my father is still my father
Aug 2014 · 507
I hate him
Forgotten Aug 2014
I hate him
I hate him with all of my heart but my heart is still under those sheets where we kissed for the first time
I left a tiny bit of my heart on the keys of your piano
and a bit on your nightstand where my bracelet has laid from wednesday evening till monday morning
a little bit at the corner of your eye and in your neck
Everytime we kissed you inhaled pieces of my heart

you         sick

         sick

*******





i miss you
Jul 2014 · 719
Morphing you into words
Forgotten Jul 2014
You shouldn't have made me fall in love with you
I have morphed you into words

You are the explanation for why 'lies' rhymes with eyes
because all i can see now
are not only lies in your eyes,
but in your mouth
and your heart
even at the tips of your fingers

Like your nose,
somehow I made that look like soon
Because even your nose warned me about
how soon you would break my heart
and leave me


Like your ear,
I made that look like hear,
because you heard what I said, but you never could quite listen

Like your shoulder,
should-er
hold-er
You should have hold me

Like your tongue,
Not only did it so much damage,
You left me tongue-tied

Like your heart,
I made that look like hurt.
because that is what I am.
I am hurt and broken.
Jul 2014 · 494
For mom
Forgotten Jul 2014
You gave me life
As i tried to give you as much as love
as i still have in me
You know times have been rough for me
And i know times have been
even more rough for you
But my sweat life-giver,
i could never thank you enough for
watering the flowers growing inside of me
when they needed it the most
I know you need that more than i do at times,
but please forgive me for i can't be like you
i sometimes forget that you are only human,
but you are so much more to me
You created me,
you created life,
you made me into the person i am today
I will never give up if you promise me that you won't either
I gently weep at the thought of living without you someday
I don't know what i would become if i lost you
I could not thank you enough,
my dearest mom
Jun 2014 · 2.6k
Depth
Forgotten Jun 2014
Well, he's got this thing in his eyes
that makes me question love
It's a curse that has haunt me ever since
The brown that lit up in the light,
it learned me that everything has depth
Unlike my father, even if the brightest light that has ever been shone
just bathed his eyes in light
Not even then
there would be shown the slightest bit of depth
Maybe that's why I liked him so much
because he was so unlikely to become like my dad
I mean
My dad was a good man
Was
It's all the pain that changed him
I just really hope he doesn't get hurt and does not change the slightest bit
Don't let anyone take away his depth

I'm sorry, what was your question again?
May 2014 · 371
12:18 A.M.
Forgotten May 2014
I feel poisoned
I always thought it was because of you
but it's because i drank to much alcohol
and because of all the cigarettes i smoked
to forget you and to clean my body

and i saw that picture of you with your hair done so well and your face so stunning
and your new girlfriend can shut  up
we had something special and what we have is special
its a love that wont be returned

how come you never thought of me when you left me?

I just really miss you

i cant convert time into feelings or words
its too late and i cant turn it back
you poisoned me
May 2014 · 410
12:04 A.M
Forgotten May 2014
happy one full year of pain and misunderstandings
and depression en emptiness and even more pain

im not okay
i have tried to be okay
i was more than okay for a while
but its still here and i cant go on anymore
and im crying even though i dont want to
i miss you even though i dont want to
i ******* love you even though i dont ******* want to

why cant life work out for me once please,
i beg you
help me survive,
i told so many people i could do it on my own
but i cant
i ******* cant
im sorry i lied to all of you

i am so so sorry
May 2014 · 861
How I survive
Forgotten May 2014
I see myself as a light bulb
I light up people's rooms
not really being noticed, but when I leave
it's too dark to see

And I need people to enlighten me
without them I can't shine
They indirectly light up my world
with a little help from myself

And some people don't need me
because they've got their own light bulb
They've got their own spark
Or it's not even dark without my light

This is how I keep myself alive
This is how I survive and accept life
People need me and some don't

that's okay

But please
don't let me be a waste of light and energy
I can't light up everybody's world
I don't have an unlimited amount of energy

I get tired sometimes
Apr 2014 · 467
00:22 A.M.
Forgotten Apr 2014
I lost.
I ******* lost.
The well known battle between head and heart.
Neither of them won.
There came a new player.
Stronger,
Bigger,
More powerful.
It took me over,
my head and my heart.

I don't exactly know what 'it' is.
But it's here.

And it's not leaving anytime soon.
Apr 2014 · 656
Disaster
Forgotten Apr 2014
I loved the idea of loving a disaster.
I loved the thought of floating through the wind, whilst the storm is just getting worse and worse.
My love was all but a waste of time.

But the disaster was yet to come.
You took everything and threw it off a cliff. There was nothing I could do about it.
There was nothing I could ******* do about it.

House of power, secret of the night,
But he won't back down.
I dare to ask you my final question, my final fantasy:
Can I kiss you?
You doubted, but I got over that after a long long time.
Apr 2014 · 480
He won't
Forgotten Apr 2014
Don't ever fall in love with a man
that you think will change,
because he won't.

You can't change a man with hatred,
or loving, or support.
When you yell everytime he fills his empty glass,
he will drink the whole bottle.
When you yell everytime he lights up his cigarette,
he will smoke the whole package.
When you yell everytime he hits you,
he will hit you harder.
But when you yell louder everytime he does,
he will become silent.
He will say absolutely nothing.
Drowing in his own regret,
Trying not to make things worse.

"Because men aren't supposed to cry."

Just wait a while, don't settle for someone who you might change. It isn't worth the risk.
Trust me, I went through this ****.
Apr 2014 · 884
Get out.
Forgotten Apr 2014
Get out.
Leave.
Run, run as fast as you can.
Hide, but do not seek.
You will find eventually.

It was yesterday, when I knew you were the beginning.
You are the beginning, you are the end
and you are everything in between.

I feel the wind through the holes in my chest.
I forget that you are only human,
but you feel like so much more.
I want to burn, but I can't hold a match,
because my hands tremble everytime I get to hold something.
I'm afraid I'll drop it. I'm afraid I'll break you again.

This book might not have a great story,
but it has enough pages to have a happy ending.
I will get there.
If not, I will change the words.

Turn left, turn right, change directions.
Choose your own path. Euphoria will follow.

Please don't stop giving me shelter.
It's warm here, it's safe.
Mar 2014 · 598
Free
Forgotten Mar 2014
It's been one year.
One whole ******* year.
It's funny how I was at your house this time
and how I was lying in your arms
staring at your ceiling

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise"


Was it really like that?
Was I really that naive?
Was it easy for you to break my wings and take my abilty to fly?

"Black bird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free"


I was happy when I met you
I was happy when I had you
and even now,
after one whole year,
One whole ******* year.
I am happy.

"Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of the dark black night"


I am free.
Feb 2014 · 394
5:03 P.M
Forgotten Feb 2014
"Waste your love on me once more and you'll break."
That's what you said.
well, screamed.
I didn't really know what you meant by that,
until now.
It's funny how you say 'no', before someone even asks you to,
how you say it doesn't fit, before you even try it on,
or how you broke my heart, before I even could give it to you.

I loved you once and I thought you loved me too.
But,
Love was just one of the million things you refused to feel,
before I got to know you.

I don't want to blame you, or the person who broke you,
I don't want to blame anyone.
But it's time for you to realize,
that not everyone is going to break you.
Not everyone you lose is a loss.

*"Out of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most."
Feb 2014 · 558
266 days
Forgotten Feb 2014
I know it has been a while
and I know it is time
and so do you.

This is your sign
This is your mark
ready?
set
go

Tell her what you feel
or it might be just a little too late
She might have already given up on you
or moved on
or maybe,
she's still in love with you
even after 266 days
maybe she misses you
maybe she needs you

she's such a ******
**I'm sorry
Jan 2014 · 762
a new start
Forgotten Jan 2014
take one last sip of your eternal glass of wine
what once you said was forever
is now done, it is over

But you can fill a new glass
but this time with lemonade
refresh your brain
resfresh your body
refresh your heart and your soul

Clean up the ashes of your cigarettes
instead of lighting one again
put a flower in your mouth
wear it like a cowboy

Wipe those tears away
replace them with a smile
show me your beautiful teeth
and your sparkling eyes
Jan 2014 · 776
9.48 p.m
Forgotten Jan 2014
As I cannot put my heart and soul into things I want to say to you
I will put everything in the poems that I write
about how i had you
and lost you
and how you held me
and kissed me
and broke me
and how I loved you
and how I still do
and how I miss you

I'm broken now and nothing can heal me
except the slightest touch of your hands
around my waist

I can't move on if your memory has decided
to play games with my mind
I'm confused all the time because of you
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I need
I just don't know anymore

*I just really really want you back.
Jan 2014 · 703
perfect reality
Forgotten Jan 2014
You are the golden ocean
You are the pink morning sun
You are an illusion

Oceans aren't golden
This sun isn't pink
You are not real

I made you up
I made you out of memories
and stories I've heard
I made you out of other
illusions of people
that I've never met
I think they are illusions though
because they leave before I can get to know them

But if you were real, *you would be my perfect reality.
Jan 2014 · 636
10:27 pm
Forgotten Jan 2014
The way he kissed my lips
I remember the way your lips looked once
dry and cracked

The way he touched my cheeks
I remember the way your cheeks looked once
red and covered in tears

The way he looked in my eyes
I remember the way I looked in your eyes once
and all I could see was
a gallery of broken hearts
a collection of lonely souls
and an assemblage of confused minds

*I just can't go on without thinking about you.
Jan 2014 · 612
Too scared to die
Forgotten Jan 2014
I can get so lost in music that I find myself feeling the emotions
of every key the pianist plays
and every word the singer sings as if he is singing at my funeral
it's like i am there
watching myself getting burried 5 ft under ground
and it scares me that I might be there one day,
not feeling, not breathing, not living

But then
I wake up of this vague dream
and I feel so blessed
to be breathing and to be alive
to feel things and see things
the beautiful things in life
and the sad things
**Because I am alive and I should enjoy every moment of it, I am too scared to die.
Jan 2014 · 553
Dear one
Forgotten Jan 2014
Dear one,

Don't let this world get to you,
It is just as lonely as you once were.
You just need to love it,
and pet it,
Like it's your newborn puppy.
Go out and make this world beautiful.
Spread your love and optimism,
Make this world your own.

Dear one, if only I could wear you on my feet, just to let you know how it feels to move forward.

Finish your cereal and go outside.

With love,
Your hidden inspiration.
Dec 2013 · 913
abhorrence
Forgotten Dec 2013
Is this what it feels like?
To be strange yet accepted?
To be not okay yet okay?
To be loved yet hated?

I am my own abhorrence
And this seems to slip away
unnoticed for other humans
Dec 2013 · 2.9k
overwhelmed
Forgotten Dec 2013
I get overwhelmed
by the idea that
there are people much more successful
and happier
and powerfull
than me
it makes me feel smaller than
the smallest grain of sand
in the big sahara
because I can't be such things

I get overwhelmed
by the idea that
there are people less successful
and sadder
and less powerful
than me
it makes me feel smaller than
the smallest plankton
in the big ocean
because i can't help them

*This keeps me awake at nights
Dec 2013 · 494
pointless?
Forgotten Dec 2013
The sun for the moon
the stars for the planets
the clouds for the the sky
But
Then what am I for?
Am I here for you?
Am I here for my family?
or my so called friends?
or for the strangers?
Dec 2013 · 645
4 p.m
Forgotten Dec 2013
It would be nice
to spend a day with you
just sitting on a bench
watching people hurry
to their never-ending-jobs
and telling eachother stories
of how they got stuck
in that never-ending-cyclus
of getting up, work, diner, sleep
Is it nice? Does it fulfill their dreams?
Do they have a great family?
Are they as happy as we are now?
Dec 2013 · 1.2k
Pull the trigger
Forgotten Dec 2013
Pull the trigger,
you already got the gun
Take your bullets,
the way you took my heart
Shoot your bullets of
disillusion, despair and emptiness
Don't even bother trying
to stop me from bleeding
'Cause I lost my consciousness
when you lost my heart
Dec 2013 · 831
eye of the hurricane
Forgotten Dec 2013
Right now
I feel something
I don't know what
It's not a happy feeling
but it's not sad either

I'm in the eye of the hurricane
Everything is quiet for now
and calm
But you can see the storm
and it's frightening
it's getting closer and closer
a strom behind me
and a storm in front of me
Dec 2013 · 446
falling
Forgotten Dec 2013
Be clear with me
and tell me what to do
'cause if I play this game wrong
I might end up
falling in love with you

You never were clear with me
you never told me what to do
I played the game wrong
And i ended up
  f
                       a 
        l   
                                     l      
                  i        
                                      n          
                                   g            
                                                        (in love with you)
Dec 2013 · 526
3:21 AM
Forgotten Dec 2013
Stop calling me perfect. I’m far from it. Everybody is far from perfect. There is no such thing as ‘perfection’. It’s just the best way of seeing  a thing the way you want it to be.  Everybody has a different point of view.  We made it up, so we had a way to improve all the things we made. But the fact is, you can’t improve a person. They can only improve themselves.  They are who they want to be, somewhere deep in their soul, they know who they are. And they will show it, once you’ve known how to accept that they’re not perfect.

— The End —