"Waste your love on me once more and you'll break."
That's what you said.
well, screamed.
I didn't really know what you meant by that,
until now.
It's funny how you say 'no', before someone even asks you to,
how you say it doesn't fit, before you even try it on,
or how you broke my heart, before I even could give it to you.

I loved you once and I thought you loved me too.
But,
Love was just one of the million things you refused to feel,
before I got to know you.

I don't want to blame you, or the person who broke you,
I don't want to blame anyone.
But it's time for you to realize,
that not everyone is going to break you.
Not everyone you lose is a loss.

*"Out of all the things I lost, I miss my mind the most."

I know it has been a while
and I know it is time
and so do you.

This is your sign
This is your mark
ready?
set
go

Tell her what you feel
or it might be just a little too late
She might have already given up on you
or moved on
or maybe,
she's still in love with you
even after 266 days
maybe she misses you
maybe she needs you

she's such a ******
**I'm sorry

take one last sip of your eternal glass of wine
what once you said was forever
is now done, it is over

But you can fill a new glass
but this time with lemonade
refresh your brain
resfresh your body
refresh your heart and your soul

Clean up the ashes of your cigarettes
instead of lighting one again
put a flower in your mouth
wear it like a cowboy

Wipe those tears away
replace them with a smile
show me your beautiful teeth
and your sparkling eyes

As I cannot put my heart and soul into things I want to say to you
I will put everything in the poems that I write
about how i had you
and lost you
and how you held me
and kissed me
and broke me
and how I loved you
and how I still do
and how I miss you

I'm broken now and nothing can heal me
except the slightest touch of your hands
around my waist

I can't move on if your memory has decided
to play games with my mind
I'm confused all the time because of you
I don't know what I want
I don't know what I need
I just don't know anymore

*I just really really want you back.

You are the golden ocean
You are the pink morning sun
You are an illusion

Oceans aren't golden
This sun isn't pink
You are not real

I made you up
I made you out of memories
and stories I've heard
I made you out of other
illusions of people
that I've never met
I think they are illusions though
because they leave before I can get to know them

But if you were real, *you would be my perfect reality.

The way he kissed my lips
I remember the way your lips looked once
dry and cracked

The way he touched my cheeks
I remember the way your cheeks looked once
red and covered in tears

The way he looked in my eyes
I remember the way I looked in your eyes once
and all I could see was
a gallery of broken hearts
a collection of lonely souls
and an assemblage of confused minds

*I just can't go on without thinking about you.

I can get so lost in music that I find myself feeling the emotions
of every key the pianist plays
and every word the singer sings as if he is singing at my funeral
it's like i am there
watching myself getting burried 5 ft under ground
and it scares me that I might be there one day,
not feeling, not breathing, not living

But then
I wake up of this vague dream
and I feel so blessed
to be breathing and to be alive
to feel things and see things
the beautiful things in life
and the sad things
**Because I am alive and I should enjoy every moment of it, I am too scared to die.