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i
you deserve happiness, so i left
I'm moving as if in a trance now,
going through the motions,
smiling when I'm supposed too,
saying the right words,
and they really don't know me
inside,
I'm dying
slowly.
‘Just go with the flow’ they say,
‘You can’t avoid the current anyway’ they say;
‘That’s the way it works,’ they say,
Who are ‘THEY’?

Round and round it spins,
‘That’s the way it works’ they claim;
Like sweet bread, buttered both sides their words are,
From the start, alluring and tempting.

Sweet is the fruit at the start,
Drenched in coated sugar,
And after ******* on for some part,
Reality sinks in, your eyes taking in the colour.

‘That’s not the way,’ you say,
‘It’s totally wrong,’ you say;
But now it’s their turn:
Who are ‘YOU’?

So what do you do?
Talk, protest, rebel?
They’ll cut you off if you do,
Who are ‘YOU’ to them?

And so you wait,
Wait for the time when they leave,
Wait for what’s coming for you,
And you then do the SAME.

At the end, did the questions arise:
Who are ‘THEY’, who are ‘YOU’?
Did the answer for this arise:
“WHO AM I?”

Like a perfect running clock it looks,
Ticking the minutes and hours away;
Not a soul checks the rusted gears and crannies and nooks,
Not until it’s too late anyway…
thoughts self-discovery useless change
The first

Drops for her,
The silent wish,
That it was different,
That I was not a burden.
It splashes down,
Splitting into a thousand little droplets,
Each a sorrowful entity,
Depicting each scene of heart-wrenching pain.

The second

Drops for him,
The silent prayer,
That I could be better,
A person you wished could be like you,
The man that could make you proud,
By just being a man
Not more, not less.
I'm sorry I'm less.

The third

Drops for me,
More than just silent,
More than just faint,
It crashes like thunder,
Bearing grief and pain,
That I am not what you expect,
Nor will I ever be,
And nothing can change that, even me.

These tears come hurtling down,
And maybe the figures are just figures,
It could be more, definitely more, I lost count,
But the awful truth is its always silent,
Never to be heard or seen...
My body's here,
Right here,
In your arms,
Wrapped around me,
Your perfectly sculpted arms.

I feel your breath,
Your warm breath,
Right here,
I feel it,
And I feel no fear,
No fear.

I feel your kiss,
On the back of my head,
That kiss,
Which makes me complete,
Right here,
So near.

I turn,
And you're not here,
But still you feel so close,
Your touch, your breath, your kiss,
I know you'll return, back here.

You're taking your time,
You know my heart belongs to you,
And you alone,
And I'll still wait,
For you my love,
Right here.
Your whisper lingers my love,
In my ears, my mind, my heart,
I hear you through the trees above,
From that voice my soul will never part.

I feel that touch of your lips,
That exhilarating kiss.
All it took was a gentle breeze,
To carry my mind away from this restless peace.

I smile, as your fingers blow through my hair,
Like a lover you caress my head,
And without reserve, I fall into your care,
You who seemed not there.

Whispers, whispers!
Kisses, touches!
Why gift me with your presence,
And leave as I fall in love?
Why breathe upon me your love,
And then take your place in the skies above?

Why lift me into the skies,
With your soft fingers,
And then… and then leave me,
Hurtling down, your howl still ringing in my ears?

And yet my soul still longs for you,
All of you.
Your silky breath of wonder,
Your peaceful blow of bliss,
Your sudden gusts of passion,
Your blizzards of fury and rage.

Yes, I feel all of you,
Through the leaves,
Through my subtle tranquility,
Through my obsessions and craze,
You blow through me and in me,
You who seem not there.
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