Not quite sure yet
What I want to be
But so much pressure
Just to get my degree

I’m young and free
Even crazy and wild
Don’t you even dare
To treat me like a child

Though I can’t help but think
Where will I be in 10 years?
Will I finally have courage,
to face my worst fears?

Will I still have my boyfriend,
who I’ve been with?
Do high school sweethearts
exist, or is that just a myth?

Should I go get drunk,
this weekend with my friends?
I got invited to another party
The fun never ends

Wait I’m kind of insecure
About my body and weight
Why am I still awake?
It’s getting pretty late

Yet I still haven’t started
Any of my homework
Who cares anyway though
I mean my teacher’s a ****

I’m under so much pressure
Because I’ve got to graduate
But you try being a teenager
In a world filled with hate

Overthinking killed the teenager
And that teenager is I
Overthinking every thought
And I don’t know *why

I am a single point
I am a hole between
the threads of a quilt
these strings amongst me
are my thoughts intertwined
with the words of others wound
around countless other spaces,
little voids filled with warmth of
fuzzy yarn spun from the
tongues of old
days past
Oh, how this fabric
so filled with holes
keeps me from trembling

I am done
Playing with you
Oh God!! Almighty
When I am happy
I forget your presence
When I am sad
I can pray for your mercy
But still you are kind to me
Blessing with all your heart
Sorry is just a word
I am not ready to say it
But I learnt a lesson
I will remember every day
And every night
Your existence
Thank you God for everything

I discover a black hole
Which can swallow anything
No matter what it's size is?
I am trying to control
And take charge of it
The black hole is my brain itself
It never knows how to differentiate
Only intakes that it can all the day
I have to use my heart as a control system
As we have good and evil
I have to grasp the good
And lead my life

Sometimes most of
Our life is pirated
Your ideas become
An investment to
Someone's growth
You never know
How you are robbed
You cannot
Fight them back
They can easily escape
Be strong
You are the creator
Of your own ideas
You can make
As many as possible
Let them live if
You can't do anything
It is good for you
To forgive someone
So be happy and
Be creative

Am I lost
Why I am in perplex
No body can see this
No one can feel this
I am internally
Stuck with lot of things
Questions that hunt me
Feelings that haunt me
Memories
I have to fight them
Which are surrounding me
Like a suicider bomb
Hope will get rid of them

I jumped in
between the cracks
traveling by Eurail pass
up & down the tracks.

My pockets were
stuffed full
of Melkweg stash
& all they needed
was cash,
a pin and
an empty glass.

And I was
the most popular
guy in that summer class,
this side of heaven.