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Aug 2018 · 156
words of Sex
pension Aug 2018
we thought that the appreciation of bodies, sweat and body fluids
can be done via words
yet, these very moments are indescribable
Usually,
it’s with raw passion, ****** movements and words that would entice, allure and ******.

*** is never meant to be alive
*** is meant to be made a fool - pure deadness and nothing else
*** shouldn’t triumph over logic

*** should just be a motion, a connection, a feeling
Apr 2018 · 229
body image
pension Apr 2018
body image, body image
so trifle yet so impactful
I struggle with my perception of beauty - beautiful, slender and long legs,
a nice round and perky ****
toned arms and
a flat stomach with potentially solid abs

I struggle with my own demons
myself
and the layers of fats that surround me

I can’t break free from these demonic thoughts
I am trying.
Mar 2018 · 379
belly bloating
pension Mar 2018
ice creams, cakes and açaí bowls
fried food like fries and many more,
my palate can’t seem to get enough of these
scrumptious delights.

momentary joy and everlasting guilt,
I struggle to keep myself awake with these horrible thoughts.

my waist, my thighs have grown to be
superlatively unattractive and
ugly.
my heart is twisted dry

how can I find solace in a world which values body

much less belly bloating
Jan 2018 · 266
“moving forward”
pension Jan 2018
moving forward, we all want to move forward

It has been months since our last encounter
Yet I am still stuck in my present reverie filled with the past

Seems like moving forward doesn’t apply
Or is it me
Who just can’t seem to move forward?
Nov 2017 · 267
the black umbrella
pension Nov 2017
my world seems to be under your umbrella
after you've decided to paint it black
your black umbrella prevents light from entering
just like how I can't feel the heat from the earth

the world became pitch-dark and sometimes,
hopefully grey
your umbrella casts a gloomy shade on the ground
just like how
my world seems to be under your umbrella

cold and clammy in the midst of the downpour
the wind howls and growls
ironically, the landscape is still
motionless and deadly quiet just like
the death of my senses and
my inability to feel the heat from the earth
Oct 2017 · 360
please do not leave
pension Oct 2017
please do not leave,
I can't take it.

please do not leave,
I am begging you once more.

please do not leave,
take me with you.

let me put your baggage away from the doorstep
let me serve you your favourite cup of coffee
hopefully, you'll stay.

the warmth of the sun is unattainable in this
harsh winter
howl howl howl,
I can only hear the guttering sound of the wind

your red hair contrast the snow
just like blood on snow
your silhouette stands there
like a dark shadow
an ominous presence in a winter that is like a Wonderland

please do not leave
the rooms are stripped
please do not leave
we have nothing left
please do not leave
I am on my knees.
pension Oct 2017
tock tock tock,
the minute hand has been moving faster than before
tock tock tock,
we only have twenty four hours to seize

we walk faster than the silver-haired masses
we maneuver through the crowd
with heavy bags in our hands
ear pieces stuck in our ears
while our eyes glued onto our phone screens

how fascinating

on the other side, they stroll cautiously along the road side
jerking at every beep and horn which the monstrous vehicles sound
oh look
one down
let's wait two minutes and another will be down

our apathy is disgusting
our fixation with the present and future are revolting

what has happened to pure and genuine relationships
what has happened to the human qualities which we innately own
nothing
nothing is shown
because we do not care about
the lost, the forgotten and the aged.
Sep 2017 · 337
when...
pension Sep 2017
when things happen,
we have varied reactions.

when the wind howls,
the trees shake in fear
we look out of the window
ironically brave

when the rain pours,
the ground cries in sadness
we seek shelter
ironically wet

when the earth shakes,
the building collapses
we stand tall
full of fear.
Sep 2017 · 265
walking souls
pension Sep 2017
couples holding hands
couples laughing aloud
couples hugging
couples talking
couples everywhere

I see couples everywhere,
many of them are happy,
sometimes they are furious
I see couples having meals,
male-male, female-female and male-female.

they look so happy, so delighted and relaxed
while I sit here with my glass of swirling whiskey.
Sep 2017 · 694
I don't love you
pension Sep 2017
Look,
I don't love you.
I never did.

I merely cherished your presence
I only appreciated your actions
Not you.

You didn't make an impact not
did you make my life any better.
I don't love you.

I don't know why I am crying
Are these tears from a crocodile?
I don't know why can't I sleep
It must be my insomnia.

You, get out of my head.
You, get out of my ears.

I need my release from you.

I don't love you.
Do I?
I was inspired by a short clip which I've watched online.
Sep 2017 · 1.4k
deepest depth
pension Sep 2017
I know why some people act crazy after
having their hearts broken.
Bro    ken hearts can be mended
with the help of time.

Time is our most valuable wealth
the most sacred thing we possess.
Relationships are optional,
they are investments,
their values are determined by us.

Hearts are broken because of high investments
high commitments and raging emotions,
hearts are broken because of our inability to
accept the harsh truth.
But, hearts aren't broken unless we want them to.

I know why some people act crazy after
having their hearts broken.
Bro    ken hearts can be mended
with the help of time.

Now, we just need some time and mental strength.
Sep 2017 · 239
a coping mechanism
pension Sep 2017
they say writing is a form of leisure
because words are powerful
words paint pictures and create vivid emotions
just like the colours of an oil painting

yet, writing can be saddening
because these words evoke memories
recollections of what mattered, what concerned

writing is never dull
because words are eventful
writing has been a way to express since long ago
we aspire to be poetic, fluent and flamboyant
but the true meaning of words always lie between the lines

I am glad that I don't write about fantasies and potential what ifs
because I get hopeful
being hopeful can be detrimental because reality is unpredictable
ironically,
words have become my way to emote
implicitly - writing anonymously

if you chance upon this,
it is a small leak from my canal.
Sep 2017 · 391
acts
pension Sep 2017
Act one
the play has begun,
audience please take your seats
children be silenced
ushers be on standby
HUSH HUSH HUSH

Act two
Antonio take your place
Giselle stay there and twirl
why aren't you crying
I can't tell your anguish from this ****** scene
CUT

Act three
children stop wailing
oh what
you are afraid of the ghosts on stage
trust me, there will be more
cue the mad men now
make them dance in circles on and off stage
make them engulf our precious audience with flames
of insanity and fury
NOW NOW NOW

Act four
are you getting tired of this crazy play
this is when the real deal begins
welcome to my circus of nightmare
the time when time is lost
the time when time is gone
the time when time is forgone
SILENCE


can you hear the howls
my pretty little claws are coming
can you hear the shrieks
my vixens are coming
can you hear the agony
they are coming from you.

THANK YOU
Sep 2017 · 273
bedridden
pension Sep 2017
the sun radiates,
the waves crash,
the gulls sound
and I lie bedridden.

the white in the room floods the scene,
the blueness of the sky fails to show,
the glass on the table lands on the ground.

red droplets stain the tiled floor,
my gaze is fixated on the ruins,
the fragments from the collision.

my head hurts,
I can't speak,
I can't move my legs.
my hands merely twitch.

Is this what it feels like to be crashed upon?
Sep 2017 · 407
numbered marriages
pension Sep 2017
Love is a cheap commodity
a form of stock exchange
a currency value
a way to determine a worth.

Hatred is expensive
it raises the waves
it calls for the howling wind
the tremulous quakes
and the shattering glasses.

one, two, three, four
four couples walked down the aisle
the holy shrine shines
the crowd claps in glee, amusement
and some in cynicism

five, six, seven, eight
the claps became slower and slower
the smiles on the faces froze like marble statues
the pregnant women wept
the men groaned in annoyance
the children were the only one laughing

the sky became dark
the birds stopped chirping
the owls hooted in the dark dark night
the gowns have turned to a shade of midnight blue
the bells have stopped ringing

The eight brides stood there and said "I do."

— The End —