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briannah rae May 2017
my heart feels so heavy
weighed down by loneliness
why don't you love me
i did everything right
i did things
i didn't want to do
just so that i could
please you
what will it take
to stitch up the gashes
on my heart
that you cut open
i don't understand
i tried being your everything
but clearly i wasn't enough
because you left me
for her
i shattered my ribcage
when i let you in
but i ignored the pain
because i thought
you were all that i wanted
and that pain was a part
of loving someone
but i was wrong
oh how i was wrong
you made me feel so beautiful
yet so ugly
so perfect
yet so imperfect
so loved
yet so unloved
but still to me
you are beautiful
perfect
and loved
when will i reach that with you
or will i never
be able to obtain
you heart
briannah rae Apr 2017
YOU
told me
YOU
like me,
and i couldn’t
help
but wonder
why.
why
me?
what is it
about me
that could
land
YOUR
perfect,
loving
heart,
all wrapped up
in a bright pink
ribbon
at my
doorstep.
i do not deserve
YOU
or
YOUR
love.
i have
wanted
YOU
to be mine
for the
longest
time,
and now that
YOU
are mine
for the taking,
i know i can
not have
YOU.
i sent
YOUR
heart back,
the box unopened,
and cried myself
to sleep,
because i love
YOU
so much
and yet i let
YOU
go.
briannah rae Apr 2017
darkness.
such an unfathomable concept.
what lingers in
the blackness remains
a mystery.
darkness.
scary,
yet beautiful.
it’s like
humans.
so many secrets
hiding in the
shadows,
insecurities
and anxiety
hidden from
view,
because out of sight
out of mind,
right?
wrong.
if somebody cares
enough,
all that’s needed
is a candle
to brighten,
all of those secrets,
now exposed,
to anybody
who just bothers
to look.
although darkness
seems like
an ever-expanding
mystery,
it’s easy
to figure out
if YOU just try.
darkness.
such an unfathomable concept,
and yet i think
i know it better
than anybody.
briannah rae Apr 2017
and YOU watched

me as i looked

so small

standing

under

the twinkling night

sky

catching shooting

stars on my

toungue,

wishing

that this

night

would

go on

forever

like the endless diamond

sky

that YOU

kissed

me under,

the moonlight

casting a faint

glow

on YOUR breathtaking

face

as YOU

promised

to love me

forever,

the same

moonlight

illuminating

a trail of

tears

sliding

down my

cheeks

as YOU

break

that promise,

break

my heart.

YOU

told me

YOU

would give me

a star

to wear

on my left

finger,

and that

i had a

smile brighter

and more beautiful

than

saturn's rings,

and now i

watch

YOU walk away,

leaving me

alone

under

our moon.

YOU told me

i was YOUR

everything,

and now

i am

merely

another star

in YOUR

ever expanding

galaxy.
briannah rae Apr 2017
HE planted a garden of roses on my heart.
they began to grow over time, the stems weaving through my ribcage, the thorns pricking at my lungs.
i ignored the drops of blood, because everything was so beautiful to look at.
then the day came when HE decided the garden wasn’t beautiful enough.
HE plucked a rose from my garden, our garden, and gave it to HER.
the emptiness inside me mirrored the wilted flowers from my garden, our garden.
all that was left were the gashes on my lungs from the thorns.
i tried watering the roses everyday, clinging to the hope that maybe the garden could be revived.
my garden, our garden.
but it was useless, because the roses were too far gone.
it’s so heartbreaking to know that the roses, once full and red, are now so dried and brown.
i keep one of the dead petals in a journal of mine, pressed between pages with graphite marking of our love.
it hurts to look at it, because i put everything i had into that garden, only for HIM to give a rose to HER, a rose from my garden, our garden.
our ******* garden.
i can’t breathe anymore, not with all these holes in my lungs.
please come back.
we can start new, plant a new garden.
just come back.
briannah rae Apr 2017
my thoughts: wildflowers.
i have a whole garden,
bright
and colorful,
dedicated to YOU,
and everyday,
more
and more
flowers grow
until
every
waking
moment
was spent
thinking of YOU.
i wanted
YOU
to know.
i wanted YOU
to feel the same
emotions
as me.
so i finally
worked up
the courage
to hand YOU
a bouquet
of those
wildflowers,
the stems
tied together
with
a ribbon.
i waited
with a nervous smile
and watched
as YOU
set the flowers aside
to
die.
YOU didn’t even
bother
to water
them.
now
i keep
my garden
guarded
with a
picket
fence,
and YOU
missed YOUR chance
to stop
and smell
the roses
so don’t
even try
coming back
because
i won’t let
YOU
in.

— The End —