Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Brianna Duffin Oct 2017
Groggy and hungover
Pounding in her head
Aggravated by the gull screeching
Lulu….. Lulu
They call her girlhood name

Same each morning
Get used to it all over again
Grappling with her self-pity and disgust
Dead weight
She can’t not hold herself back

She’s seen so much worse, in the day
Bellies torn open, guts strewn
Limbs twisted like contortionists
Heartbreakingly graceful
Rotting, swollen faces she dreams of

A man, mummified
Head held up
******* from a ****** straw
Invisible man
What did that soul see when the bandages came off


Welcome to the final decline
Still got her mind, probably
Not sure what she wants to lose first
The inevitable slide
Unfit for the task

It’s her own fault
They were her choices
But where could she have gone right
What had she to do- what she had to do
That’s all over, done, and gone now

Bloodbaths and blow-ups
She’d forgotten safety
Her ground still shakes
Run for cover
Still, everyday, everytime

Why her not them
Why them not her
How dumb is God
“Survivors guilt”
But the doctors know nothing

Solitude made for her
Broken way too much
Why can’t they let her be
Isolation… fight that war
Wrong choice then and no choice now

Desolate in disrepair
She’s in ruins more than it
The house leans in around her
They’re a good fit
It works on its own

Devil or angel
She has it back
The original vice
Good thing she’s all alone

She doesn’t know
Doesn’t want to remember
Distance and isolate
Intimacy out of the question

She’s useless anyway
What good is left
Where has hope gone?
Bloodbaths take lovebeds

She struggled
She fought
Stalemates rule
Why must she live

Good and right
Evils be gone
War is blinding
Wipe away schoolgirls

Why have hope
Why bother with love
Nothing gold can stay
Why fight a victorless war
This is about a woman struggling to recover from her experiences in WWII. She describes her morning routine in the present while flashing back to the past.
Brianna Duffin Oct 2017
Days going by and absconding with the years
I watch my life slip away, carried by the will-of-the-wisps,
From my cold train seat where I perch on the edge of the filth
And look out the window marked ever with the prints of pressed up ears

I jot down my wild senseless thoughts,
As they tumble ‘round my aching skull,
On a napkin as if my notebooks are full
Of pretty ideas that matter lots

This one might just be special, oh how divine
This one will be the maker
Defeating every breaker
I tell myself the lie each and every time

But perhaps I may just feel the tickle
A dead silent whisper that a glimmer may be near
Though all good fortunes prove to be fickle
This may just last a while- if it ever gets here

I jot down the thought before it too slips away
I tuck the napkin out of sight but keep it in my mind
And pray, pray, pray- for their sake, not mine- I will find
That my work has paid off at last and this hope might stay

I’ve been working all day every day so, so hard
After all this time, it’s felt so long
Hard, hard work was my my bird’s sole song
I expected a window, what I got was a shard

That should teach me an ample lesson
About hoping for the best and thinking this might be real
Teach me to cry, to be tender, to open my heart, to feel
And hope my chest doesn’t start its compression

I still harbor some humanity yet
In my present ever weakened and strengthened state
I always manage to squeeze something new onto my plate
No matter how much I continue to fret

So I continue to record
Even as tears slide down my frosty countenance leaking
I jot down thoughts as they crawl through corners sneaking
The rest of the train looks bored
Brianna Duffin Oct 2017
Romance loves to sing
Drowsy head, folded wing
Among green leaves they shake
Within shadowy lake
To me
Hath been most familiar
Taught me
My very earliest word
In wildwood did I lie
A child-
A most knowing eye
Eternal years,
So shake the very Heaven on high
As they thunder by
No time for idle cares
Gazing on the unquiet sky
An hour with calmer wings
My spirit flings
Forbidden things!
My heart would feel
A crime
Unless it trembled
With the strings
Brianna Duffin Oct 2017
The noblest name
Hand traced inexorable rage
Pleasing moralist, page refined
Deepest knowledge of the mind
Tender poet, a foreign tongue
Language that he sung
Bard of brilliant, unlicensed page
Shame and glory
Prince of harmony, stirling sense
Ancient dramatist
Bard paints imagination’s powers
Whose song revives departed hours
Boldness of design surpassing all
Names rightly read
Gather all their glories
Brianna Duffin Oct 2017
Kind solace
Hope-
That fire of fire
Agony of desire

Secret of a spirit
Wild pride into shame
O yearning heart
Withering portion
Searing glory
Amid the jewels
Halo of Hell!
Pain….
O craving heart
Sunshine, summer hours

Rome to the Caesar!
A kingly mind,
Proud spirit which hath striven
Triumphant

I first drew life
Mists have shed
I believe.

Late from heaven
It fell
Touch of Hell,
Red flashing of the light
Clouds that hung
Deep trumper-thunder’s roar
Human battle!
My voice- my own voice
My spirit would rejoice
Leap within me
Battle cry of Victory!

Rain came down
Unshelter’d
Rendered me mad and deaf and blind.
Torrent of the chilly air
Empires- the captive’s prayer
Hum of suitors
A sovereign’s throne

My passion’s
Usurped a tyranny
Power,
My innate nature
Liv’d one who then
Burn’d with a still intenser glow
For passion must expire
Iron heart
Woman’s weakness

No words to tell
Loveliness of loving
More than beauty
Shadows on unstable wind
To fantasies

Worthy of all love
Love in infancy
Angel above
Heart the shrine
Every hope
Gift-
Childish and upright
Why did I leave
The fire within?

We grew in love together
Roaming
My breast her shield
Friendly sunshine?
No Heaven- but her eyes

Young Love’s the heart
Sunshine, smiles
Little cares
Laughing, girlish
I’d throw me on her
Pour my spirit out
No need to speak
No need- Quiet!

More than worthy
My spirit struggled
I had no being-
But in Thee!
The earth-
The air-
The sea-
Its joy!
It’s lot of pain!
New pleasure,
Vanities of dreams
More shadowy light
Parted their misty wings
Their image
Most intimate things

I mark’d a throne,
Half the world
All my own,
Any other dream
Upon the vapor of the dew
My own had past
Did not beam
Of beauty
With double loveliness

I spoke to her
Power and pride
Mystically
A mingled feeling
Flush on her bright cheek
A queenly throne
Too well I should
Light the wilderness alone

Queen of Earth
Her pride-
Above all cities
Their destinies-
Of glory
World hath known
Stands she not nobly
Alone

Oh human love!
Thou spirit given
On Earth,
All we hope
In Heaven
Falls into the soul
Like rain,
Failing in thy power to bless
Leaves the heart a wilderness
Music so strange
Beauty so wild
I have won the Earth!

Hope-
The eagle that towered-
Homeward turn’d his softened eye.
Sunset- sun will part
Sullenness of heart
Glory of summer sun
Soul will hate
So often lovely
A dream of night would fly

The white moon
Shed all the splendor
Her smile, her beam
Time of dreariness
A portrait after death
All we live to know is known
All we seek to keep hath flown
Let life fall
Beauty is all

I reached my home
My tread soft and low
I defy thee, Hell to show
Beds of fire
A humbler heart

I firmly do believe
Death, comes for me
Regions of the blest afar
Nothing to deceive
Rays of truth-
You cannot see-
Flashing thro’ Eternity
A snare in every path
The idol- Love
Scents his snowy wings
Incense of burnt offerings
Most unpolluted things
Pleasant bowers yet so riven
Light’ning of his eagle eye
Ambition crept, unseen
Till growing bold
Love’s very hair
Brianna Duffin Oct 2017
For her luminous eyes
Brightly expressive
Sweet name
Hold a treasure
Divine-
An amulet
Must be worn
At Heart.
Do not forget
The trivialest point
And yet!
If one could merely comprehend
Three eloquent words
Of poets, by poets
It’s letters
Still form a synonym for Truth
Brianna Duffin Oct 2017
Very, very dreadfully nervous...
Disease sharpened my senses-
Not destroyed! Not dulled!-
Above all.. Hearing acute...
I could hear all things
In heaven, earth, and hell.

Impossible to say how
The idea penetrated my brain
It haunted me, day and night.
Object? NONE! Passion? NONE!
I loved him, truly I cherished, adored, admired him
Never a wrong or an insult between him and me
No desire for his gold had my wicked heart...

His eye…
YES! It was THIS!
A vulture's eye it was
A pale grey bead
With a film over it
It fell upon me-
My blood ran cold,
So cold, so cold,
So frigid even the eye-
That very same evil eye
Which had brought me the miserable cold to begin with-
Could not compare to the ice of the doomed chambers within my soul.
And so it was!
Gradually, gradually,
I made up my mind
To rid myself of the evil
Forever.

You fancy me mad-
This is not so!
Madmen know nothing.
But how clever was I,
Oh how clever indeed.
How I wish you could have seen me!
How wisely I proceeded-
With what caution and foresight-
I went to work,
And I worked methodically
Just so, all according to plan;
I worked
Until I succeeded.
You fancy me mad,
But no, sir, this is not the case,
You do not give me enough credit;
Madmen are worlds away from me.

I was never kinder to the man
Then in the time proceeding his death.
And he never suspected it was so, but...
Every midnight, I opened his door,
Inserted a dark lantern, and ****** in my head
Very, very slowly… how cunningly- you’d laugh
Yes, you would laugh
For you fancied me a madman
And I proved you oh so wrong, did I not?
It took me a full hour to slide my head in
And gaze upon him as he lay alseep his bed
Ha! What madman could have been so wise as this?

Upon the final night, I was more than usually cautious
A watch’s delicate hand moves more quickly than did mine.
Never before had I felt the extent of my own powers
I could scarcely contain the triumph raining down from the heavens.
To think that there I was and he did not dream of it
I fairly chuckled at the idea; perhaps he heard me-
Perhaps you in your search for the madman have got the wrong mind!

He moved suddenly, as if startled
You may think that I drew back- I DID NOT!
I was too close to victory to retreat,
And so I held my courage, held it tight.
Would a madman not have been too nervous,
Much too nervous to manage all that I had, all that I did?

The room was black as the inside center of the eye,
Shutters fastened, ever so tightly fastened
So as to keep out the city night,
In my calm, in my incredible precise wisdom
I knew that he could not see the opening;
I kept pushing on, steadily, so steadily
I was about to open the lantern;
My thumb slipped.

The old man sprang up, crying out-
CRYING OUT!
I kept completely still and said nothing. But NOTHING!
I did not move a muscle and I made no sound, stopping my own breath
I did not hear him lie down
He was still sitting up, listening- just as I had.
I heard a slight groan and I knew: mortal terror
Not of pain or grief- OH NO!

This low, stifled sound arises from the soul
When overcharged with awe-
I knew the primal beast too well!
Many a midnight it has welled up,
Deepening with dreadful echo the terrors-
Oh yes, I knew it ever so well
I pitied him, although I chuckled at heart.
See! I am not the madman you think!
He had been trying to comfort himself
And all in vain-
For his prayers came too little, too late.
Death had staked and enveloped the victim.
This was inspired by Edgar Allan Poe's "The Tell Tale Heart".
Next page