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 May 2017 bluevelvet
Faera
If I were not a person who dealt in words
the same way others dealt in currency
(or maths
or measures
or facts
or any number of infinitely more practical things)

If I were not a person who breathed in the flow of letters against pages
and thoughts against spaces

I would never love an artist

because no matter the medium of the life
cra
wl
in
g
beneath their skin

No matter if they hear notes in the flip of her hair
(or paint galaxies of the breath against her cheeks
or create worlds hinged on his fallen eyelash
or build monuments to his unguarded laughter
or sway to whatever melody her eyes serenade beyond flickering boredom)

no matter the medium they substitute for the oxygen they inhale
Their hearts
do not exist
—cannot—
outside of the muse they substitute
to pump their passions through their veins

And if I were not a person who dwelt between the strokes of the letters
and devoured the length of meters

I would never love an artist

because their lives are forever forfeit to their muse
sold, clapped in heavy irons
to a desert oasis you cannot reach
because you cannot be his muse, if he has notched you onto his belt

For an artist would never endanger his muse, no matter if he loved her
(or worshipped her
or tortured her
or reveled in her
or whatever multiple definition love has contracted)

If I were not a person who knew the woes of seeing more
than what the world might first offer

But I am.
And I understand.

And I would never love an artist

For I belong to my muse and so does he
and She demands
that no competition come from the love
She allows me
outside Her chamber doors
and an artist's brilliance is competition indeed

And I can only ever love an artist
who
might
forgive
And who might understand
If I told her she is my muse no longer
 May 2017 bluevelvet
Andrew
Still the chicken coop
At the end of childhood still
The first snow fall soft as
Still the endless summer
Your emerald eyes, far out
At sea. And time. Leaves us
On the vine withered/broken;
Still your kisses in those misses
Out into the air off into the forest.
 May 2017 bluevelvet
ester
blame
 May 2017 bluevelvet
ester
Where did all the promises go?
Were all the “I love you”s as empty as your heart was?
My heart aches for you
It always will
But you don’t seem to get that
You’re the one causing me so much pain
Yet you blamed me for feeling too much.
#11
 May 2017 bluevelvet
RyanMJenkins
30 hours with 45 minutes sleep. Busy day today, much work to do and roll through on a hill that's steep.  Thoughts run deep, intoxicated by events.  Some things are meant to happen, no use in trying to prevent.  I just want to vent, soul exposure.  Thinking about people with whom there may be no closure.  Head in the sky as people and houses fly by.  Acceptance is a choice one must utilize, don't just try.  Pandora's box, you know what will happen when you pry.  Send me some good vibes, my body's feeling low.  Deeply rooted into a sea of cravings and mystery, so I know there's room to grow.  Shaken world superstorm, I thrive on the unknown.  We'll see how it goes, how one will survive.  Count your blessings now, and be happy to see we are alive.  I've had to hide, the person I was to please.  Through this I've accumulated a vast mass of mental fees.  Feel the breeze, it's real and energizing.  Beware of thoughts that breed illness, no matter how hypnotizing.  Realizing new things on a daily basis.  I've pushed myself to extremes, now the nature of everything is making me face it.  A train's coming, slowly I step off the tracks.  It cuts through the land, reminding you it's best not to go back.  Memories are moments, we know they won't last.  Just don't dictate your future, based on what happened in the past.
 May 2017 bluevelvet
JP
Ghost
 May 2017 bluevelvet
JP
he was dead
But
still searching...
for the
meaning of life
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