Kissing you was like swallowing
the salty, salty sea:

I have corals for ribs,
and seaweed limbs;
my bones are ship-wreck saves
and wishful pennies.

My heart is a sea-shell:
if you put your ear to it,
you’ll hear me screaming, shouting,
pining
for you.

She said to me "You're perfect",
and I want you to be mine."
But I felt I wasn't worthy
and to be perfect, Ill need time.

I knew it wouldn't be worth it,
It could be better if I tried,
then she got tired of waiting
and I watched my chance go by.

I wish the traveling circus were still around to run away to. It's not about being afraid to leave as much as it is needing a place to go. But my father was a mountain and my mother was a hole. And we're caves, mouths open and full of the cold. Been sitting so long myths have been made about the things that live inside us. The children come on dares to look in there. And yell in fear, at first only to have those sounds echo back. Then they laugh. There was never anything to be afraid of. Our bodies are full of that noise. Mostly the laughter. It lasts longer. It feels better. But is easier to forget because no one ever learned anything by laughing as much as being brave. You have to be scared to be brave. And moving from this place takes the strength of an earthquake sometimes. But you should know, your hands will never be big enough to hold all the rubble when the mountain crumbles. I remember when the cancer hit. The chest x rays from when they removed the portocath. Backlit, your chest resembles a busted cemetery gate from some ghost scene in a Sherlock Holmes movie. Broken. From letting all your ghosts go. And don't focus on all the things your hands can't hold. Your head fits just fine. Your hand. Cupped over your mouth to catch all your sighs. Can hold a cup of coffee to give to someone. Flowers. A poem. Tonight. Tonight you realize you're a mountain twice removed. A marble statue. So strong and so beautiful people will come a long ways just to see you.

Love Detect

Have you seen love?
no-no I mean seen love
Not a fake scene love?
But real love,
Mean love,
Not what you see on the screen love,
I mean brings you to your knees love
That you scream I scream we scream love,
Real love,
No that sneaking through the window just to see how it feels love
Don't use her up,
Don't steal Love,
But Real Love,
That spend your last penny and then rebuild love
I need that fight
We argue and still love
Put her first,
Let her go first,
That Yield Love,
That nothings perfect,
It hurts ****,
But its still love
Have you seen love,
That sweet love,
Cream love,
That Mad Love,
Blow Steam love,
That as long as I have you,
I'll protect love,
I detect love,
I'm looking for love
Have you seen love?

everyone says that you don't actually need your boyfriend, you just want him.
but i do, i need him.
and tell that to the old woman whose husband just died and she loved her whole life.
and when they pronounce her dead and they say it was 'broken-heart-syndrome' tell her family that the doctors were wrong, that no one can die from an emotionally induced heart break .
i dare you. tell them.
and if you wouldnt tell that old woman, why would you tell me that?
and when i ask you that, don't tell me that its different because its not.
because i love him, just as much as that old woman loved her husband.
and just because she was born in a different time, that their generation was completely different.
and don't tell me that everything will be fine, because it won't.
i won't ever be able to forget him, like i've been able to forget the others from before.
don't tell me it's just a want.