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...
what's funny is
I always knew
Can mean so much for such different situations
Locked away in bars
Being stuck in a cage only incises my rage
Can’t find ground
No one to be found
Raising hell all around
Welcome to my world, *****.
For years I’ve been running away
From the hateful things they try to say.
Held a knife to my throat
I really don’t mean to gloat
But the world is burning
The tide is turning
One giant mess after another and we only sit and watch.
Beg for help but strings bind my lips
I am forced to face the fury of the whips.
You were supposed to live
But instead we fall into body bags
Only given the right to a toe tag.
Im tired of waiting
Im tired of failing.
I’ve fallen too many times before
Each time experiencing a little more gore.
One count
No surprises
Going in for the ****
Acquainted with skill
Take the pill
Try to survive
Do anything you can to free yourself.  
Ghosts staring back
You are stuck
No luck

So why do you give a ****
Pain is surrounding
Only thing I can see
Bitterness miles away
I don’t care what I say
I can’t say a word
I can’t pray to a lord
When I have no idea what is even out there
Given one gift
Given one time
Given an opportunity
To break my chains
To escape these pains.
Given a time
To raise mother ******* up
Rise above the outlasting hate
And scream
Originating from the heart of pain
And I dare say I’d rather stand in the rain.
My mouth is sewn shut
I can never speak again
Running
Always running
Always dying
Always giving up
And-a one two three
Someone ******* save me
Cut the strings and allow me to
Scream.
Gone gone gone
I am always wrong wrong wrong.
I am putting the words into the fire
This is all I require
To be healed
To shine again
To rise again
Take my love
I shall only hate
Take my hate
I shall only mutate
Further into a spiral of darkness
When my shadow leaves at the break of dark.
Creating murals to depict my morals
I am alone
I am dead
Cliché says it best this isn’t my forte.
O father
Why have you deceived me?
What were you waiting for?
Why have you abandoned me?
I gave you everything
You gave me nothing.
And now the legion shall rise

Originating from the heart of pain
And I dare say I’d rather stand in the rain.
My mouth is sewn shut
I can never speak again
Running
Always running
Always dying
Always giving up
And-a one two three
Someone ******* save me
Cut the strings and allow me to
Scream.
Condemned to a cell
Yes, welcome to hell
Shackled to a wall
Grab a cup of coffee
And watch the world fall.
I tried to scream with a mouth sewn shut
But my friends, I ran out of luck
My lips shed blood
I’m drowning in my own flood.
What I once understood so well
Is proving to be no more swell
Than a classic enraged beating
That is so painful to take seating
As the world keeps heating
And we

Just

*watch
'There is still time' I
Tell myself again just to
Excuse my failure
With all that she's felt
She feels every memory.
Everyday that drags on
for an eternity.
What seems like a gift
is really just misogyny.
Misunderstood
She was never truly okay.
With all that she's felt
both emotionally and physically
They still hurt
It always hurts
and it burns
With all she's felt
since she was a child
(Her fingertips seemed to touch everything, she longed just to feel)
She would never understand
She would never be
more than
*misogyny.
  Mar 2017 Błeeding Dįamøndš
Ree
i just want to fix you
to fix somebody

but i know what its like -
to be fixed
it can feel like you owe your person a lifetime of debt
because when you thought you had nothing left
someone comes in wearing their invisible red cape
and they swoop in and save you
without even trying
and sometimes

without even knowing you were broken in the first place
I bled for you,
I gave into you,
I wanted to make you happy.
I have an evil soul
I can never be made whole.
No room for a savior.
No way for anyone to save me
Paint me a picture
Make the world look so much better.
There is so much that is not okay.
So much pain
Every mistaken day.
Make me feel
Something real
Little child, such kind eyes
Don’t listen to these lies
They try to take you.
They try to break you
Don’t listen.
I am broken.
I feel nothing inside.
Lie to me
Tell me everything is okay
Lie to me
Open my eyes to a perfect world.
Make it like
The pain was never there.
Abusive scars just disappear.
Make me feel human
Tell me something I want to hear
Cause right now I can’t survive.
Pretend to love me
Pretend to know me
Give me a friend
Give me a lover.
Give me one more reason to live.
The gun
Is awful close
I can taste
The copper against my tongue.
I can’t breathe
Are you listening?
If I say
‘’I love you”,
Would you stay?
I know I am ugly, I am garbage
Which is why I need just one friend.
Tell me everything is okay.
Make me feel again.
Please revive my soul.
I don’t care
If what you say is true
I just need to hear it.
Been so alone
I can hear the world mocking me.
Night after night
Day after day
Depression holds me at ransom
Taking all the joy I ever knew.
Romanticize me,
My life depends on it,
*My life depends on it
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