Maybe because I've always been
*******--
Or unscrewed, I suppose--
In the mental department
Maybe because I know he's a friend
He's just as scared of the world as me
He's not some evil figure
Lurking about at night
Intentionally trying to terrify
He's a man all the same
I don't care what his appearance is
He just tries to hide
Seeking refuge and comfort
Trying to hide his lugubrious mind
He just wants a friend that understands
So he lays under the bed
Or sits in the closet
He doesn't even say a thing
Except "Boo-hoo"
When he hears your life story spoken aloud
By your conscious lips
Or subconscious dream clouds
But what most people don't hear
Is the important half
"Hoo"
They hear boo
And awake and scream
Trying to climb into bed with parents
But Mr. Boogeyman hasn't visited
In a long while
And I'm starting to miss him
Maybe he'll come back tonight
But I'm not afraid of the Boogeyman
Because I've met much worse

When i go
Do not cry for me.
i know you dont care
Dont remind me of "happy memories"
between them are memories full of abuse
Do not pray for me
believe me, i will be much better when im away
Do not offer to help
i wont need you anymore
Dont shake my hand
you've crushed it enough
When i turn 18
let me go, and dont talk to me
Because
You brought this upon yourselves.
You wont see your grandchildren
You wont know my job
You wont attend my parties
You wont hear from me at all.
You pushed everything away from me
So when i turn 18, its time that i let go of you and start a new, better life

If I told you to grow up
If I told you to love better
If I told you to not hold back
If I told you to just
let
go

Maybe you wouldn't
But I'd deserve it

Is it too late to say, "I miss you"?
God, I hope so
Because I remember the last time
I thought it wasn't
Spoiler alert!:
Did not end well
Is it too late to say, "I love you"?
God, I hope so
Because if not I'd come back running
And that's not who I want to be
Is it too late to say, "I'm sorry"?
God, I hope so
Because I have nothing worth apologizing
To your cheating *** for
Last time I did that
It was ******* pointless
Is it too late to say, "*******"?
God, I hope so
Because that would mean I still care
In some form or another
Which I do
Not that you give a ****
Is it too late to turn around?
God, I hope so
Because this time it's my turn to shine
And if I go back to you
I haven't even started
On the path
To self re-creation

The first time i saw you
I witnessed the clouds part.
You were simply walking
I thought to myself, holy ****
Because
I'd never seen
Someone as cute as you in my life
cliche right
No.
Because see you looked at me too.
And i must ask
what were you thinking?
If...
Anything at all.
I found myself thinking of you all day
Nothing lustful,
No
Just innocent thoughts.
I thought about how clear your eyes are
And how much i would like to talk to you.
Im a loverboy.
God i know.
And i fall easy.
But trust me,
I want you
You are different.
Just like me.
And i value that.
I value you
I know these words are words.
But i am trying to be brave.
See
i dont like to be brave
But you are worth humility
Worth slander
Worth anything.
You took my heart that day.
And if its okay with you,
Id like to implement a no returns policy
Im a simple guy
But my feelings for you are joyfully complicated.
I looked in the mirror that day.
i took a **** good look at myself
And i came to the conclusion that i couldnt win a girls heart like yours.
But i know.
i know
That you dont love for the appearence.
Every time we meet
You greet me with a warm smile,
tight hug
And i hope
You see something in me that you like
Right?
God i hope so.
I can never find the words to tell you
But
Here it is.
I like you.
(As i fall over in ******* relief)

Im sorry.
I couldnt do it.
See the thing is
Pressure builds up.
Fear takes hold
And i am left a victim.
I wish i didnt have to change for you.
When you told me you loved me
Was it true
or was it because you felt you had to say it.
I love you.
But i cant change me
Not even for you
Because i would never ask you
To change
Love me
Just the way i am
Or leave me