Remember when you bought me three pears
because you knew I loved them? One wasn't
ripe at all—took the jaw of lion to crack that
open. Another had gotten smushed under the
weight of my books, leaving pear juice and
residue at the bottom of my backpack, and the
last just made the cut but fell to the floor after
my second bite. We laughed it off, smiling like
lovers & I told you that you ****** at choosing
fruit. But yesterday I stumbled around the city,
intoxicated and nostalgic under all those lights,
trying to grasp any form of support, hoping it
would be your hand on the other end. Passing
the same spot from our first date and that time
we skipped school just to feel invinsible and so
in love, I realized that those three pears were just
some twisted reminder that we ****** at timing,
too.

gd

Golden eyes
you disguised pain so beautifully
you hid my love notes in your shoes
you thought you loved the girl I used to be
I thought I knew what love was made of
pressed against your car
you smelled just like the ocean
I felt kept inside your arms
I had no knowledge of commitment
I was only seventeen
wanting a body made of heaven
born decades before me
we smoked cigarettes and danced
for hours in the rain
you were as gentle as the wind
I didn't mean to cause you pain
confusion is a cloud that visits
every n o w and t h e n
when I think of nights spent on the phone
and days worshiping your skin
whether or not you think of me
is fine and either way
you were a message wrote in cursive
that I r e p e a t everyday

cold winter rain brings pain to my numb body
for pain brings warmth and warmth brings life
there is no life without pain
there is no life without suffering
for without these we cannot experience joy
all these feelings are temporary
as if life
so if we cannot fully embrace these feelings
we cannot fully experience life
give up your tailored shoes for homemade moccasins
give up your malls for goodwills
burn down your offices
and ignite your bonfires
ignore warnings and use what brings you happiness
for legal and illegal are all societal views
what nature gives us should be available for the masses
it should be the key to unlock the gates of imagination
I do not believe in meditation
because it separates the mind from the body
these two go hand in hand
without one, we can't enjoy the other
*** is the purest form of pleasure
so why should it be subdued?
we came into this world naked and free
why should this stop after we leave the womb?
these are all just thoughts
ideas and dreams
but can they not be considered?
I hope not for my name to be remembered
I hope not for eternal life
I only hope my stories can tell the stories
of a thousand others
a thousand other broken kids who have given up hope on society
but not on the world
for the world is nature
and it is the only form of joy our race hasn't put a price tag on
our race isn't white
our race isn't black
or anything in between
it is only human
as are we.

I don't desire to share my opinions with anyone
Too long, have they been bashed upon by peers or anonymous figures
"You should respect their opinion."
What hypocrites, even opinions could be wrong and hurt others

"For the sake of arguing."
It doesn't matter if they humiliate someone.
It doesn't matter if they turn others against them.
It doesn't matter if they were wrong as well

Even if you understand their perspective, they refuse to see yours
I long to be mute
I hate my own speaking voice
If all my words are unheard


"I can't express myself, this secretive awkward human."

If only they knew of the true cynical and diabolical thoughts locked away
Would anyone bother to accept and understand
Or would I be shunned
Isolated like I had been since so long ago

I don't mind singing
The rhythm and flow much better to the accented jumble words
However I'm merely a ghost that no one notice when they have stars to illuminate the room

"Ahhhh.. The jealousy and bitterness will consume me."

"Please see me."
"Please acknowledge me."
"Please talk to me."
"Please hear me."

*I'm fading away.

tragedies, losses,
failures and defeats
will always be
present in life

sometimes,
i try to ready
my soul and my heart
for mishaps

but i guess i was
never ready enough
for whenever it comes,
it still leaves me
devastated, hopeless