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~~~
~bye~
what right we mess with a better gone before?^

what right does it mess with our composure
one hundred and three years later?

~

“Such are the little memories of you”

these crafted words of flying feet bittersweet
knock a mother farther back upon her lowered flat heels,
recalling too, similar and same,
the resounding pattern of a gone child’s pitter-patter,
of treading, exploring long hallways and secret rooms
with comfortable, yet reckless flying abandon until,
a fateful reckoning abandons us both

this poem elocutes my charges against your Taker,
and all the little prayers of the angels sent to minister,
give no comfort like the giant memory of your
running little feet,
coming and going and gone
^ To Theodore

by George Marion McClellan, 1860

Such are the little memories of you;
They come and go, return and lie apart
From all main things of life; yet more than they,
With noiseless feet, they come and grip the heart.
Gay laughter leading quick and stormy tears,
Then smiles again and pulse of flying feet,
In breathless chase of fleeting gossamers,
Are memories so dear, so bitter-sweet.

No more are echoes of your flying feet.
Hard by, where Pike’s Peak rears its head in state,
The erstwhile rushing feet, with halting steps,
For health’s return in Denver watch and wait.
But love and memories of noiseless tread,
Where angels hovered once, all shining fair,
To tuck you in your little trundle bed,
Kneel nightly now in agony of prayer.
Death is the word that strikes fear in the hearts of men,
Some lose sight in such loss.
Would it be easier to think of it as a door or a box,
Shall we wrap in ribbons like a
Gift?
 Apr 2019 betterdays
nsp
a lot of amazing women have loved me.

a nurse from Izmir
with almond eyes
and a quite confidence
that snuck out in her laugh.
both of us with lust for life,
and each other.

a teacher from Christchurch
with a competitive fire
who whispered me a confession,
under cover of a rattling train,
that was never heard.
our first night together left me in the hospital,
I still returned for more.

a co-worker from San José,
a sunflower in the wind,
untameably independent.
her smile buckled knees,
her touch left me thoughtless,
her voice felt like home.

a lot of amazing women have loved me.
and I sit here,
staring at this page,
trying to see what they saw.
and it's blank.
I spend a lot of time thinking about what others see in us that we cannot see in ourselves. How we can be loved by amazing people we respect but still not find our own value. The search for self-worth is an important one.
 Apr 2019 betterdays
Ben Jones
In a nook at the edge of the water
There’s a spot where the rules don’t apply
Where the sun always rises behind you
And the land doesn’t meet with the sky

At night, there are stars in the treetops
When the moon washes up on the shore
And the air has a curious flavour
That you’re certain you’ve tasted before

There’re pelican-gophers a-singing
While the bees and the ladybirds dance
By jumping and flapping your elbows
You can fly by the seat of your pants

It’s a perfect location to visit
Though you might find it tricky to find
In a nook at the edge of the water
In a space at the back of my mind

**
I chronicle in rhythm and rhyme,
Scribbling, jotting, imaging the times:
I dug down to Lucy,
And China's Great Wall,
Compared Viking raids with personal tirades;
Asked God questions, questioned Jeff Sessions,
And all of that where-with-all.
I've called wrong out, and written about
Our scandals, all fancy or true;
I've offered you solace,
Even opened my wallet,
And grieved when it was due.
I've been self-righteous,
And sometimes right selfless,
When parsing my love for you.
But now it should end,
I've less left to send,
And so love I bid, Adieu.
Everytime I'd think of you
I'd send a memory to the sea
Riding on a paper boat
To somehow bring you back to me

Time and time again
I'd send dozens and dozens more
Till one day I found all my paper boats
Washed up on the shore

While I was sending you paper boats
A storm had settled in
Brewing and stirring the ocean depths
Taking my boats I sent within

My paper boats never reached you
My paper boats came back to me
My memories are now upon the shore
Haunting me endlessly.
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