When you finally smile,
when you finally make it out...
when it finally lets you go.
It comes back ten times harder,
just to make you quit,
and I want to.
But I will not,
it's hard.
But I will
Not.

A flight of three crows
added to
a dense grey day

Next add four
iconic conifers
as high as the sky
eternally ******* down

These things are
always in my sight
through my window
on this wet world

Multiply all of this
by a sweet daughter
who makes me proud
and raise the whole
to the power of a strong woman
who carries us all
on her back

The equation produces
a result that I am 95 percent certain
equals happiness
though the confidence interval
is wide

And this result
sweet as it is
and as uncertain as it is
will outlive me
leave a faint echo in time
an echo that will bounce off a star
and finally be found
gripped in my shriveled paw
long after the epiphany
nowhere near paradise
somewhere short of
the end of the line

This is a moment of happiness
stolen from time
hijacked by a fugitive
from civil society

I'll hold it close
until death pries it
without mercy
from my hand

Leaves it as a blessing
and a curse
for all who come after

Take the blessing.
Leave the curse.
That's the advice I give
with my dying breath.
And I leave this to you
from the generosity
of my heart.
With a nod to
the scant traces
of God's grace
that I find on these pathways
of travail.

Never lost.
Never found.
Always present
and generous
to all.

Be that.

seconds, minutes, hours, days

spent hoping it was just a phase

as his parents sent him to a church where they'd say

"son, you better pray the gay away"

surely this "God" had far more important issues

than a boy in a closet with a handful of tissues

surely this "hell" was a place for far worse people

than a boy forced to confess his sins under a church steeple

We identify ourselves by the masks we wear
Pick the right one
And avoid despair.

I love the rain
When it rains I feel like my tears
Hide away
It hides my sadness and my pain
But I look down all I see is red blood
The color drips from my wrists
Dripping adding to the flood
A drop at a time
Can't believe this blood is mine
But I always tell myself and
Everybody else I'm fine

Warfare

It was you who made the decision.
You, who detonated the bomb.
So there's no use telling me you've been scorched by the blaze,
When
      I'm
           The
                One
                     Who's
                           In
                               Pieces.

A black book of feelings lies on my bedroom floor,
Beside an abandoned book of rambling,
That left my brain sore.

My foot is tapping to my heartbeat,
As my blood is pumped round and round.
While my ears explore the silence,
Of the things that can't be found.

A revolutionary thought appears,
To quickly disappear again,
So I curse my brain remembering that memory isn't my friend.

And my tongue stutters and trips over itself,
Making fools out of my teeth,
As I tell my friends they're materialistic,
For not realizing what's best lies underneath.

Salt rocks and lollipops
Gemstones and Zen
Spellbinding wizards
and dragons that eat men

Lightworkers and Indigos
Heart chakra crown
Don’t block kundalini
you’ll surely break down

With Ohm in the house
like it or not
Theta beats Beta
No judgement or thought

Malas and Mantras
to the Seat of the Soul
dissecting wavelengths
to uncover the whole

Ankhs and crosses
With fire and white light
Circle of crystals
bring spirit into sight

Mystics & healers
heed the cosmic call
extend love to our planet
to save us all