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Live the kind of life
you would never want to
trade.
Don't wake up one day and wish you'd done something differently. Live.
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
Ray
"You look so tired"
I mean I guess
I've been drinking enough caffeine
To fuel a crack head or three
But I'm fine I'm really fine
Minus the breakdowns on the busrides
But I'm fine I'm really fine
I mean my dead dad talks to me now so I guess
Maybe I'm not alright in the head a little
But it's ok right now I swear
It's okay right now I swear
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
Lora Lee
Memories
of what I never had
lurk in the back rooms
of my mind
silver-tinged
with coolness,
their icy edges
     melting into tiny
colored fires
intensity of emotion
that becomes an endless,
                 lurching ocean  
                        with the ache
                       for the close,
                     rolling folds
of deep saline whispers
a merging of souls
without drowning
            a submerging
without getting
carried out
to raging sea
identity rescued
from certain
little death
          maintaining clarity
allowing for
the lasting wonder
of seeing through
each other's
eyes, hearts in
tune beating
                   strong
always keeping me
on the edge of
the most sumptuous,
delicious repast
that even in
the most heated
moments
will not burn us
to a mere crisp,
not destroy
yet also will not just fill
in limited surfaces
a cup half full,
a mind, half alive
Instead of shallow,
quickened afterglow
     I simply know
    what I  must have:
that deep, s lo w  d i v e
to the depths
of that aquatic
rhythmic wonder
the soft, liquid crystal
                       of reflection
that is in my core
and now,
as I send
        prayers to
           the winds
        of hope,
  yes, how
I bleed,
             for
               this heart
              needs
           so much
        more
It must be added to the title: "...but of what will one day be" because I believe it will come into being. No ifs, ands or buts. Period.
Not only that: It is clear that we need different things at different stages. It is not that "love" is never found in some form. But: Sometimes, as we get wiser, we know,crystal clear, exactly what it is that we need. :)

Worth a listen:
What Else Is There?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADBKdSCbmiM
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
River
Art is a lot like life
It never comes out
The way I imagined it.
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
River
I've been making changes everyday
Since I decided I didn't like the way
I felt and thought
And I only realized today
Seeing myself in the mirror, that I'm different
I speak different now
I smile different now
I think different now
I'm different

It's like, I'm different
But exactly the same
It's hard to describe
It's just I have so much less pain
Before i was stressed and
Hurting
Always disconcerted
But now that's lifted,
I feel loved, light, gifted

This is for all the hopeless, that see no point in
Continuing on in their transient misery
Well, this is my testimony
And I hope you take it to heart
And treasure it as a keepsake,
It serving to remind you and convince you
That your ailing heart
Won't ail forever
Things change, life gets better.
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
River
Where is your heart,
It's a diversion
The glimmering, shimmering
Façade; the cloak
I like bright colors and shining ornaments
I thought I liked these things
Like your eyes and your voice
But it all disintergrates
Like the dust that was once mountains

My mind is the keeper of myriad memories captured by my five senses
I used to think it was all about me
And now I find myself dying to self
I can't make sense of it all
I've stopped imploring
Beating my fists to the floor, begging for more knowledge
I went out and sought the tree of knowledge
So I could take a bite of that poisonous fruit
I never found it.

Sometimes I find myself wrapped up in diversions,
Spellbound
Caught up in a web of hedonistic pursuits
Awaiting my death
I called "save me!"
Like the apostle Peter did when he was sinking
I called out in agony when all the pleasures became pain
An Angel appeared beside me
And guided me out of the dark night of my soul.

Sometimes,
On days as placid as this one
I completely forget what pain is and
How prevelant suffering is
It's too easy to just look out for myself and my own needs and wants
It's too easy to turn a blind eye to the starving child thousands of miles away from you or
The self destructive drug addict next door
It doesn't matter if the suffering is forced onto the person or if it's self inflicted
We need to love all,
Seek to bandage the wounded with unconditional love
And cast fear out of ourselves
The fear of what is foreign to us

Some days
When I'm happy and content
I ask myself,
Where is my heart?
I may never be recognized for the good deeds I've done in my life
But I rather live a life full of purpose
Even if that entails
Showering love onto the ones who are suffering
Putting myself among the lowest of the low
So that I can reach out my hand
And pull someone up to my level of joy in God.
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
River
Tears well in my eyes
For the sense of powerless-ness I feel
In the pit of my stomach
So powerless to pain
So powerless to evil
I can't change it,
Erase it,
Morph it into something beautiful
Like the end of a Disney movie
When the spell is lifted
And the kingdom is restored

I see masks plastered everywhere
Having a resemblance of depth
But they're merely shallow, bottomless abysses
Echoing their identity that they cling to
I want to say:
"It's all been said before! Can't you see? All these uprisings and rebellions throughout history didn't lead us very far. Our human nature is our persisting scar"
But maybe they'd sneer and call me "un-enlightened"
But really, their ideals are not even in alignment with their lifestyles
It's bizarre how we humans can dream up ideals and a utopia in our mind,
But continue to fail to bring those dreams into physical form
Maybe we're just all not on the same wave length?

I just don't understand
Do some people actually enjoy suffering,
The perpetuators of cruelty?
Or are they programmed to act maliciously by default
Because they were taught that we live in a cruel world
And the only way to survive is by being a sociopath
Or is the source of cruelty the 1 percent,
The filthy rich looking down at us at a Roman ampitheater,
Getting a thrill off our suffering

I want to pick up the whole world in my arms
Like an ailing helpless infant,
This is what our world has become
A toddler who doesn't know better,
That is drawn in by the vibrant glow of the fire
And is burned
I suppose collectively, we just don't know better
That we continue to be self destructive in every possible way,
And we don't even know it or
We even enjoy it...

I don't want to see anymore
Sad, vacant faces
I want to see smiles abounding
And hearts eager to share love and kindness
I want to see change,
I want to feel change,
I want to be change!
I want to change!
I want, the mindset that leads to futility
Rather, what can I do and be for others?
Perhaps this is what we all must focus on.
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
Cali
skip
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
Cali
Kiss me,
I'm sick.

I love you,
I hate you,
in 30 second intervals.
I shapeshift
in ten syllables
with no pauses.

You think that this time
it'll be different,
that I won't run.
And I flinch
because you don't
deserve this.

The truth is
that I'm already
dreaming of
wide open spaces
and books with blank pages.
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
Just Me
A lie...

As white or as small as it might be...

A lie is all that puts emptiness between you and I.

Words...

No matter how few they may have been...

Are the things that stab at me.

Sorry...

A word rarely needed, always unwanted...

No matter how sweet your apology might be.

Understanding, so precious to me...

If only you took the time to see what your lack of empathy does to me.

Devoted...

It's what I am to you...

Blind...

Is what you are when it comes to me.

Simple...

Are our problems.

FAITH is what I have in us, but FEAR that I'm a FOOL is the end of US.
LOVE is our HOPE and FRIENDSHIP is what binds us.
LOVES ups and downs are kicking my ***. When your in such a fragile state as to be in love, it seems the smallest things are most important. I find myself alone in being understood and embarrassed that my issues with my significant other are so small, but hurt so much.....
 Aug 2016 Natasha Meyer
Just Melz
If the person you love
Is truly
Holding you up
Then there's no way
You could fall
For someone else
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