how do you say sorry
when you're so out of breath ?

I'm talking insane again
am I not ?

can you make it stop
before it leaves me dead ?

these words those
don't mean anything

and I've kept them so close
as if they mean everything

there's nothing here for me
I keep scribbling in my dreams

I see the mirror shivering
but I don't hear no screams

they say I need magic
or there'll be nothing left

isn't it tragic
how slowly the world forgets

how we become
someone else

pretending we're the same
and we'll never be strange

fearful of change
and mindful of things plain

we need the beautiful
or we'll be stuck sane

with nothing to blame
and nothing to gain

there'll be nothing to lose
a sight always on mute

who would crave a world
so placid ?

where there'll be no science
to explain the silence of acid

that vile thought that keeps
repeating itself

there'll be nothing to sell
for there'll be no one interested
to buy

the lies
or the blue sky

roses painted red
a thought stuck inside a head

I'm speaking ill again
am I not ?

can you make it stop
before it leaves me dead ?

but I have my reason
nobody reads me

and I'm stuck in this season
wasting my autumn

for something more pleasant
that i have now forgotten

What can I convey ?

I'm just a peasant
but this hearts serves a king

a madness that is decent
as I descent deep within

tearing my own skin
making smoke rings
out of thin air

I'm aware
as much i think one can be

when they're about
to disappear

so disappointed that
man in the sky wasn't here

I think I'll rather
cry myself to sleep again

than say a prayer

it's not fair
how one thought leads
to so many

in a head that is empty
they echo like anything

I'd rather have the silence
if I could have any

than being just star dust
dancing in violence

I'll sell you the bank
for a penny

just take away these keys
please, I beg

I'm not making sense
am I not ?

can you make it stop
before it leaves me dead ?

falling rain speaks to me
about your tears and betrayal
why are you so far away from me
when my heart is so cold and frail

there must be more than this
more than you and this bliss
that's now his..

I keep on remembering
one more moment of us
our one last kiss
that feeling of beautiful love

and now when we're at the end
it feels as if it's only a beginning
of a world without you
and I'm singing aimlessly
like all those broken people do
about something I couldn't have
and if it's even true


the far I try to run
the more I fail
and as i look back to see
what you've done
my heart still aches
with scars it cannot bear

there's so much to leave
in words I cannot speak
so hard to believe
when you're standing there

and now i cannot breathe
without wishing myself dead
there's nobody else here
to wake me up when I fall asleep
and I still keep dreaming
about you and me in my head

and I can't find no monsters
lurking beneath my bed

every colour is greying
and the sky is decaying
now that you're not here
for me to forget


and now when we're at the end
it feels as if it's only a beginning
of a world without you
and I'm singing aimlessly
like all those broken people do

I'm in pieces too.

gathering words to burn
when I have nothing to say
Is it already my turn in sun ?
to shine like a desert far away..

find me an oasis
so I can burn it to the ground
I'm tired of voices
telling me about what's all around

they make me full of noise
all those eyes that feel my pain
and I feel so naked in the ruins
like a star looking for fame again

put me in a frame and forget me
there's only silence in a sound mind
I'm thirsty for an ocean once again
so much to drink when I look behind

let me swallow this world for you
let me be the bad they talk about
I've been here with nothing new
something you said is full of doubt..

and I don't have any answers
if you've been looking through the trash
I have only blood in my poisoned veins
and it'll only cost you your soul to cash

i know you feel I'm so empty
kept clean of your science and that God
somewhere in between you will find
that without a leash it's easy to get lost



and you've never been in a home with no walls
where rotten insects infect your imperfect mind..

every day is like finding yourself with no skin, nothing at all,
only an empty screen to remind why the unworthy world is dying

so drink with me and share with me what you've kept inside

the monsters you've bred and that feeling within not yet ready to die

open them for me, your eyes and every scar stretched wide,

let's make a road out from this hell, to a place with blue sky..

because there's no room here for the both of us,
one of us is surely another lie

and I'm not looking into a broken mirror to decide,
it always whispers to me that i can fly

and I don't want to try and fall off from the sky


I'm finally finding myself comfortable hidden in all of these files,
now tomorrow fails to exist and how the time flies

like a fly learning to fly,
i've been wrapped in a circle that has an endless reason to pry

you don't understand me and that's alright,

you don't see what I taste every night while you're asleep

counting the sheep before slaughtering them for a frozen good-bye

in a calm voice

don't put me to sleep yet
I'm still counting everything I was told to avoid,


It'll only probably take a moment and I want to cry,

cry myself to a parallel void.

not a reason more to die
I've always hated my good-byes

never really ever learned to cry
now i am but all so bled out


[and I don't know what to do...]



they told me if I had wings I'd fly
but that's not true.. that's not true

I sit in the dirt and watch the sky
I watch the sky as it passes me by



[and I don't know if it's still blue...]



my head is on my feet and it's weird
the way I'm searching for it everywhere

I have the key but the door is not there
I left it a wrong time ago right here



[and I don't know if I ever knew...]



I swear I knew more than this just moments ago,
something ate into my brain as I watched the pendulum go to and fro..


hypnotised by my own breath and what not, that came in between,
how i claim to own things but can't remember a word from my dreams..



[and I don't know if it's still true...]



they told me it takes only a moment to die
and if I can perish on my self I'd learn how to fly

if I can paint a black-hole there'll be no more reason to ask a why,
every colour is there for our amusement and window's don't lie



[and I don't know if there's a view..]



I've lingered like the shadows on a wall waiting to pry,
like that vile poison for the enemy that's too sly..

like that little boy back in the trunk that's too shy,
I remember now how it took only a moment to die..


[and I don't know if that's new...]




back to the same story, on the same page waiting to be inked,
things mightier than titanic have come and gone.. been sinked, skinned by sin..

and I'm still here, doing nothing and wasting my time all over again,
it takes only a moment to die and you're back at it again..


[and I don't know what to do...]
[and I don't know what to do...]
[and I don't know what to do...]


Do you ?

and so it goes
another ghost
down the wonderland

from the veins
shelter on the rain

and nobody knows
if the season
will ever be kissed the same

up on the rocks
far away
where the ocean screams
I can see bodies floating
like it was only yesterday

swallowing the dreams
torn by the seam
on a bed of thorns
a road never walked upon
I saw him run away

this other being
who looks a lot like me
and I wonder if
there's more than I've seen ?

a place more
than where i've been
a red sky
and the meadow's green

and so it goes
another ghost
down the drain

and I'm so afraid
that I'll never make it
to the wonderland
ever again

with my hands on my heart and knife on the clown
I'm just pretending I'm laughing..while it all crashes down..
just breathing for a moment.. and watching everyone around
they look so happy.. have they all been swimming in the magic potion..
brewed by the old ghost i found lingering in the shadows..
I wonder if they can see how the flood has swept everything away on the ground..
the noahs arc is broken.. begging for mechanic to repair the scars..
every hour a new boy is born to rip off the struggling heart..
no daughter to confuse your soul with.. the father makes me sick..
and mother's out there in the ocean.. ready to drown..

is that what they preached when we were kids ?
I never came to know.. i was down for a while with random ****..
and they told me my words don't mean anything unless I learn with fire..

where there is hate there is desire to destroy whatever you make of it..
stranger times have weathered the storms.. those gave me the chills

and I'm forgetting if I was supposed to be polite to the outside world..
the same folks who never cared if the little boy was hurt..

now Give me your solution and dissolve me of your worries..
I want that bollywood hit... where I'll be lost with a beautiful chick lost in poppy seeds.
I've bled what you bleed and I was never disgusted to how it all panned out...

no matter how much the school principle spent the time in screaming..
I never heard  anyone shout...
MAYBE I never cared for the migraine bouts..
far too less concerned with life and all that it takes away..
always ready to run away
from their dreams and what they kept out to be lost..

I was never the good child.. always pathetic and vile...
ready to **** in a moment of heat.. now I've stabbed myself enough to leave..

Let me go.. let me rule my world..
let me love like no other..
I don't need your fake sisters and brothers..
I DON'T pray to your god.. I'm just happy alone in the woods...
With a pair of socks and twenty dogs..
waiting for me to whistle I never came to realise..
I'm ready for your demise..
I'm ready for mine..

pray that I don't ever cross your path.. they say I have a burning mind..

too engrossed in moment of bliss.. that i don't have the time to be who's right..
But that's alright..
that's enough for a fight..
and in the night I'll pretend I've fallen asleep...
dreaming about things they never let me keep..
for an age.. I was getting on the stage.. for the reapers who wouldn't really reap..

that's a thousand feet from where I've stood all my life..
holding the knife on my throat that cuts deep..

isn't it beautiful to be different when you don't know how to be anything else ?

maybe a tree that isn't free ?

What they cannot be And what I cannot see ?

do I have to be what they tell me how it's all supposed to be ?

never beautiful but always afraid..


why not be how i was made ?

even though a mistake..

isn't it beautiful to be ugly..

I see this world rotating hanging upside down
with all of these voices screaming in my head and in the background
Like a pendulum I swing back and forth and up again
I ******* tears leaving me.. I think it's about to rain

And I wonder if it's my time ?
And I wander in my filthy mind...

Trying to make sense of this world and what I see
It's all so strange in ways I could never ever be



My thoughts are collapsing in the noise of silence
Blood rushing to my brain and I'm tasting the violence

How the hell did I find my way back here again ?
After a thousand memories as if nothing has changed
And it's all still the same

Can somebody cut the rope.. too much pressure on my veins
And I'm seeing things that cannot be


And I wonder where's my mind ?
And I wander in my filthy mind

Trying to make sense of this world and what I see
It's all so strange in ways I could never surely be

It hurts so bad and I'm normal once again
Only if for a moment..
I love when my dreams get me insane

I see the kids playing in dirt and killing all the flowers
I remember how I ate away the guilty world of ours
Just hanging by a thread and it's now bleeding me the years
And I'm afraid if I don't find a doctor soon I won't even be here

To tell you I took more than my share
And maybe that's why I'm all so f*cked up and alone there
In that space
Just hanging..


Can you not hear me ?
I've been doing things to gather your attention
I've done so much that nothing gives me the satisfaction
Twisted moments give me nothing but another dose of pain
Like a pendulum I swing back and forth and up again

Can't you see ?
All I ever wanted was to be free


And I wonder if it's my time ?
And I wander in my filthy mind

Trying to make sense of this world and what I see
It's all so strange in ways I could never truly be


Find me a potion and make me a person again
I've met all of your flavours and I want it plain
Give me poison.. I want the erosion
I don't want to be left the same



I've been awake every night I have lived in a hope to be found
And now i can't see the sun for it hurts my eyes
I've forgotten how it sounds

outside

Besides,

Way out in the woods you'll find me reaching inside my throat
Pulling out my insides so I can find my heart and build myself a boat

I've been drowning since forever and I'm feeling like a broken home
Go away from me now.. I don't ever want you to see me this open and alone

This is not how I am

I'm more than I pretend to be

Can't you see what I'll never be ?

Can you save me from me ?

Can you pretend you see what I want you to see ?



And I wonder if it's my time ?
And I wander in my filthy mind

Trying to make sense of this world and what I see
It's all so strange in ways I could never ever be