You left my heart in bruises

And my life in peace

The tranquil and the freedom

Of no longer being his

Just a split
second
and these glimmering
fragments appear
as words
before they drift and
merge again
but they came near you
into the beautiful pool
of preverbal
knowing

I never smoked the first cigarette
I never smoked the first joint
I never drank the first beer
I never snorted the first line
I never popped the first pill
I never dropped the first stamp
I never met you
I never found love
I never lost my heart
I never lost my religion
I never lost my friends
I never lost myself
Would I still
Smoke
Do drugs
Drink
Have no real friends
Have no ability to see another woman as she is and not how I want her to be
Would I still look at someone else
And wish
She's you