All those black dots
she said
they are all birds

she said
wouldn't it be nice
to a be a little black dot

wouldn't it be nice
if we were older
and she laughs
she said
yes

to be an old black dot.

What happened to you?
Why are you like this?
The answer is nothing
I was born
I was born curled in around myself
Donned in barbed wire and caution tape
A princess of precaution
No hurt caused my recoil
I must have sensed it from inside the womb
Known that I would never be safer than I was before I took my first breath
Always careful
Not too fast, not too hard
Not too loud, never too proud
No action, no damage
To open up is to allow hurt

I've heard that it's worth it
but there are so many sad songs that I'm not sure
Nobody can break your heart if you don't let them

I just wish the world was softer
I am so overwhelmed by it all
I need muted tones
Feathery emotions
Fleeting fear
Wispy worries
Downy desire
It's all too much
Too loud

We are all just collections of words that mean something else
And when he said I love you I tried to decipher each syllable
As it fell out of his mouth

Words have a nasty habit of trying to be something they're not

I always thought words were my thing until I met him
I used them as swords and flowers
As poison and decor
But with three he brought me to my knees

He was like one of those words that he come across
And you have no clue what it means
And when you look it up all you find is another word you do not know

And it made me wonder if my vocabulary just wasn't big enough to hold onto him

Today was the first day
The first day that you weren’t first thing I thought about when I woke up
The sun rose and I didn't think about you
I stood on the linoleum floor of my kitchen
The sun shined through the little window in front of me
And I did not think about you
My eyes joined my mouth as they crinkled in a smile
And I did not think about you
I must have thought of five hundred things today
Before I thought about you
Even though I did not make it to five hundred and one  
I hope tomorrow
I can make it to five hundred and two
Before I think about you