all i do is get drunk and high because im lonely but i dont want you or you or you or any of you.

girls are stupid

the story of my virginity is haunting me a year later and now i feel like breaking down and asking myself why i still went through with you when you never looked me in the eyes that night
and after all those boys and girls who only wanted to put their hands on me and get inside of me, i now regret it all.
i regret shedding my clothes and keeping my mouth shut
i regret not knowing your name until we ******
ive never kissed with love
im tired of being the one that gives and doesnt receive
im tired of knowing all the things i know
i hate myself for doing the things i swore i wwouldn't do.
taking boyfriends and lying to friends and letting boys cheat on me and having *** with every person i see.
telling you that i loved you when i did not.
ive worn myself out and im changing
but people will always only want me for one thing.

late at night i feel like **** and i dont have that person to express to i dont have that person who wont judge but just listen i feel like im sinking into an early grave

i can not get across to you
how happy i am without you
im happy to not see you
when i wake up
im elated
im ecstatic
to finally be free
im saving myself
and this is rare
im loving myself
and this is a new concept
the only negatives in my life
are when my plants start to die
and when my grass gets too high
theres no place for you

There's someone waiting behind a door waiting to greet me with memories I've never forgotten
There's a window reflecting your thoughts instead of the outside world because I'm trapped in the thought of what it is like in your head
You hold my hand and I know

I hope
    one day
        you'll see me
              and think
"why did i let her go."