Every night I miss you.

Maybe I ruined you..

.    
                    He had lips of an angel,
A kiss that could make a judge forgive ******,


  A touch that made 2AM thoughts osculate,


                        And me, he had me..

            Loving him like he was my religion.

You should be here with me
My heart is as empty as the side of the bed that you used to sleep on
And my life's crashing harder than the waves on the shore like when you first kissed me
And I'm falling harder and faster into loneliness than I was when I fell for you
And I know there's no stopping this
But you should be next to me
Kissing each freckle on my arm and tracing "I love you" into my palm because each letter deserved it's own recognition for it made up a larger picture
And you should be next to me
With my head leaning onto the very shoulder I spent entire nights crying into
You should be beside me
But I guess this was all besides the point
And now you're next in line for a new girl
I just wish you would give me a next chance

This year I vow to change for the better but remain constant in my being. This year I vow to embrace this body, this skin, this figure, the only one I will ever have. I vow to love myself before I do anyone else. This year I vow to listen. I vow to be open ears and heart. This year I vow to be patient, to be still and trusting. I will not let the past spoil expectation. I will be as hopeful as I am eager for opportunity. This year I vow to not take health for granted, to appreciate the existence of it when good and accept the challenge when it is not. This year I vow to let nothing break me. Not disease, depression, or person. I will not fall victim to weakness. I will do my best to be as human as I can possibly be while also being understanding of human flaw. This year I vow to not judge. I vow to welcome the unknown with outstreched arms and a wider perspective. This year I will not hold on to mistakes with closed fists. I will let go of what is not meant to stay. This year I will try and do all of the things I've sworn I'd do a million times before. This year I will try again. This year I will try my best.

I promise you this: I will fill your life with rumbling laughter and blissful smiles to the end of our days. All I ask is that you love me right.

I knew you long before
        eyes' shone intention,
felt you in sun's warmth
   and shooting stars' surrender
heard your voice on soft
  whispers of zealous zephyrs
   and sweet tones of hummingbirds,
felt your depths of majesty
         in sapphire quenched oceans
     cresting upon effulgent moons,
  savoring the breath of crystalline
       snowflakes and crisp sea air
I sensed the strength in your convictions    
   for it unfurled every dreamt intimation,
whilst the strong presence of your
    ever engaging infectious smile,
          enveloped every night's fantasy

They say "you can't miss what you don't have"
So how do I miss what I do have?
To "miss" is to have lost,

have I lost you my love?